To wonder what runs through some people's heads sometimes?

[FattyAirways]

I was at a cafe enjoying breakfast. The cafe is big, got around 25 tables in. I was the only one in the cafe. A couple, came in, placed their order at the till and came and sat at the table right beside me! They had 20-odd other tables to choose from. My table wasn't in an enviable position in the cafe, no views out of the window, nothing special about this area in the cafe, yet they chose to do this. Why?

Does this mean those of us who seek the table/car park space etc away from everyone else have evolved further from fish than the people who immediately flock together?

It’s not something that would make me furious or overly annoyed.m, unless they were very loud. Going out to eat is a social thing though otherwise you could just eat by yourself at home.

The only good thing about covid was that people were forced to back the fuck off!

YANBU

FattyAirways · Today 10:04
MrsSkylerWhite · Today 09:52

Drives me mad, too. My mum and I were at Kew, enjoying the birdsong, sunshine and peace just after opening a few years ago. Another couple arrived, the man went in and the woman walked straight over to our table and said May be join you?”. She looked most affronted when my mum said “no” 😁
Your mum is to be admired! Were there other unoccupied tables available?”

We were the only people there!

Oh I've had the camping one! Went to the pub for lunch, came back and a massive tent right next to ours, guy ropes crossing ..... rest of field empty. WTAF.
We made a lot of noise that night and they moved the following day, thankfully.

Flockers can flock off

I’m with you. There is obviously something going on which attracts us to put ourselves in a particular place, even if we don’t consciously register it. It will appeal to others for the same reason it appealed to us.

If you don’t want to sit near anyone, it would be a good idea to deliberately choose a place near a draughty door, an obstructed view, near the toilets or the door to the kitchen so you are effectively in the thoroughfare, near noisy air conditioning or too loud speakers, obscured, so that if a friend wanted to join you they’d need to hunt around to find you, away from natural light or a nice vista, etc.

The camping one makes sense, other tents nearby help block the wind.

The others are annoying af and for some reason ime it always seems to be a man coming and sitting right close to a woman on her own. I'm going to ask the next one if he's having trouble evolving from a fish just to see the confusion 😂

Surely it's a "social thing" with the group you go with, not with random strangers who choose to sit next to you but are with their own group? I don't understand your comment really. Or do you mean that you think separate groups of people socialise with each other rather than staying with the group they came with? I really don't see the latter at all - never seems to happen. I can just about understand people on their own sitting close to each other in the hope of a conversation, but not, say, family groups, who keep themselves to themselves, but still seem to have to sit next to each other when they could spread out.

Why does having other people close to you cause anger? Why does it matter if there were other tables free? I don’t understand why this is an issue

It’s human nature to be close to others; people do it without thinking.

SunnySaturdayMorning · Today 10:29
It’s human nature to be close to others; people do it without thinking”

I do the opposite.

I live by the sea on the south coast, there can be a mile of unspoilt, empty beach stretching out before you but people come and set their towel down just a few metres away! 😆

Noise, lack of privacy, difficulty in getting out of your seat when chairs/tables are close together, parking their pram blocking you from getting out when they could have parked it the other side next to an empty table.

Like parking the car - why make it more difficult to get in/out of the car by parking in the next bay leaving maybe a foot of space, when they could have parked elsewhere leaving an entire empty space to get in/out.

I don’t. Sometimes I have to be in public. I don’t, however, need to interact with them.

Nail on the head there - "people do it without thinking".

Unfortunately, that's a common problem these days. Too many people doing things without thinking!

Sorry was agreeing with @MrsSkylerWhite , and disagreeing with the original post.

There’s also another thing going on too - being territorial.

It’s an animal instinct going on, like nesting site squabbles among birds.

Some people ‘claim’ their space/territory when they choose to settle somewhere and feel an irrational animal anger when someone enters ‘their’ territory. It’s pretty hostile. That hostility won’t make any sense to a friendly person.

Because personal space requirements/expectations change with the circumstances, which include how much available space there actually is. E.g. if you're having a picnic on a large open field and another family sits right next to you, it might feel odd and intrusive. However, if you were at a packed festival with lots of people you might barely even notice how close they are.

i buy gluten free food and people will come and stand next to you a gawk at what you are looking at, like you’ve found something amazing. They don’t ever buy anything.

I parked in an empty section in the car park once. Rows of empty spaces. When I came back a girl parked right next to me super close. When it became obvious I was going she went ‘you aren’t leaving are you?’ And looked annoyed. I don’t know if she thought my car protected hers or something.

Maybe they subconsciously thought you had chosen the ‘best’ place to sit - or why else had you chosen it out of all the others?

ReflectedFlowers · Today 10:37
There’s also another thing going on too - being territorial.

It’s an animal instinct going on, like nesting site squabbles among birds.

Some people ‘claim’ their space/territory when they choose to settle somewhere and feel an irrational animal anger when someone enters ‘their’ territory. It’s pretty hostile. That hostility won’t make any sense to a friendly person.”

Im not hostile, I just enjoy peace and quiet when I can get it. Could be argued that plonking yourself next to someone when there are plenty of other tables is equally territorial, even challenging in purely animal terms.

I was eating breakfast alone in a hotel once, with many free tables, and a man asked if he could join me. I said no.

In that case I think it was because he wanted to practise his English. It was in Vietnam and he was, or at least looked, Vietnamese. (I lived there for a while and this sort of thing used to happen a lot).

But no. I don't want to give a free English conversation lesson. Particularly over breakfast.

User, some people will go out to eat just to not be alone. Others will go out with a spouse for example but will want the atmosphere of a place with other people about, otherwise you could just eat a takeaway at home, that’s what I mean.

Yeah this has happened to me on the bus a few times. I've been on virtually empty buses when someone comes and sits right next to me! It's really weird.