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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what runs through some people's heads sometimes?

339 replies

FattyAirways · 23/05/2023 09:31

I was at a cafe enjoying breakfast. The cafe is big, got around 25 tables in. I was the only one in the cafe. A couple, came in, placed their order at the till and came and sat at the table right beside me! They had 20-odd other tables to choose from. My table wasn't in an enviable position in the cafe, no views out of the window, nothing special about this area in the cafe, yet they chose to do this. Why?

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 23/05/2023 11:23

Mydpisgrumpierthanyours · 23/05/2023 11:19

Boils my piss. Leave me the fuck alone. I actually reversed into a bollard years ago because I was ranting to dp about the twat who had parked next to me in an empty car park.

This made me laugh out loud 😂

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 23/05/2023 11:23

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 23/05/2023 11:19

Oh GOD the beach flockers.

Finding a spot on a virtually empty beach, lovely view of the sea, inevitably some barely evolved fish come and sit right in front of us so we have to hear them yabbering on to each other and stare at pink fleshy backs instead of the ocean.

I always move.

Bastard twat came and stood near to me with a fucking drone on an empty beach while I was having a nap and proceed to hover over me.

Trust me I'm not worth hovering a drone over.

DontBeStupidYouKnowILoveYou · 23/05/2023 11:23

I've been known to get up and move (on their behalf). 🤣

Hate people being close to me if they don't need to. It's infuriating so moving is the only way to solve it rather than die in angry silence or send them eye daggers.

FrenchandSaunders · 23/05/2023 11:24

Also had this in a restaurant recently. Met DD for lunch, waited at the door to be shown to a seat and the waiter took us to a table for two sandwiched between two big family groups.

The other side of the restaurant was almost empty .... I asked to be moved.

TiredOfCleaning · 23/05/2023 11:25

greenmarsupial · 23/05/2023 10:09

My worst one of these was when with pitched up on a really lovely rural campsite. We selected an isolated spot, it wasn't close to the loos or anything advantageous, there were no pitches as such - just a big open field. I think we went off for a walk and when we got back, there was a huge family tent set up immediately next to us. They were actually German so we did wonder if campsites elsewhere are more efficient in how you are meant to fill the space but who knows. Devastated we were but unfortunately too polite to move our tent away 😂

This is not the same but reminded me of a local park where there is ONE picnic table and seat set.

Sunny day... went to have a picnic and there were 2 women with their small children sitting on the ground right NEXT to the picnic table which they were not using at all. Like leaning against the seat.

We sat away from them for an hour or so and they never used the actual table at all- not even to put coats on. So they did not need to set, did not WANT to use the set yet rendered the only table completely incapable of being used by anyone else.

It still baffles me.

willWillSmithsmith · 23/05/2023 11:28

I hate that so much! Depending on my mood I’d either ignore or make a (small) deal of moving my things to another table as far from them as I could. They probably wouldn’t even notice though as their self awareness and personal space parameters are obviously non existent.

Nearamir · 23/05/2023 11:30

It’s a bloody public cafe. They can sit where they like! To be ‘furious’ that they sat near you, at a table they chose, is a tad dramatic.

ReturnoftheMuck · 23/05/2023 11:30

Were they an older couple? I've noticed this in people of a certain age but younger generations don't tend to do it as much. I think it's related to changes in social norms personally.

DepartureLounge · 23/05/2023 11:33

I hate this too, and I think it's interesting how there seem to be two distinct types of people - peorple who do it and people who hate other people doing it.

The car thing is a bit different imo but is also very annoying. It's come up in threads on here before and usually ends with all the people who do it admitting that they can't park straight without another car visible to line up against.

SamW98 · 23/05/2023 11:35

Oh and another one. Recently met a friend at a local pub with a huge beer garden - I’d say 50 tables.

Only us and one other table occupied then a group of about 12 youngish blokes came and sat on the table directly behind us dragged chairs from other tables to squeeze round this small table and proceeded to place chairs so close to us they crashed into us constantly and talked extremely loudly with very other word being fuck

Meanwhile the whole rest of the beer garden - including larger family size tables was completely empty

EbonyRaven · 23/05/2023 11:35

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 23/05/2023 11:22

Although the other type of beach people that grind my gears are the ones who won't venture more than a few steps onto the actual sand before setting up their mini city of windbreaks and mats and parasols, usually right at the bottom of the steps thereby meaning that EVERY OTHER FUCKER has to walk through around their medieval encampment to find their own area.

Or the other geniuses who lay out their shit across the bottom of the lifeboat slipway. Probably the same people who park their motorhome up in an escape lane on the way home for a bit of tea.

Medieval encampment!!! 😂

PurpleNebula84 · 23/05/2023 11:35

I nearly wrote this as the first comment on the thread... Thought maybe not, but it has just happened to me again.

It's the same with cars.... Loads of space and people will park right next to you.

Just had a United Utilities van park so close to my car they were struggling to get in and out as well as getting equipment out... Why the chuff did you park so bloody close then? There was literally no other cars apart from mine and their van 🤔🤔 I don't get it 🤷🏻‍♀️

willWillSmithsmith · 23/05/2023 11:36

headstone · 23/05/2023 11:08

User, I don’t get what’s so weird and intrude about a couple sitting next to you in a coffee shop. It’s a public place at the end of the day.

Ah so you’re one of them 🤔😁 it’s called personal space, some have more than others. If there is plenty of vacant space why be breathing distance to someone else? If there isn’t more space then people will accept the closer proximity of others. It is a pet hate of mine as I have a lot of personal space. If I’m somewhere crowded then it’s not an issue.

TroysMammy · 23/05/2023 11:36

I must have come across as that nutter on Sunday evening. I was going to the theatre and parked in my works car park as it is a short walk away and free with no restrictions. Despite only one car there I parked next to it as that is where my workday space is. The woman in the car who was waiting for a friend must have thought I was bonkers.

MathsNervous · 23/05/2023 11:36

This happens in empty car parks too. Someone parks right next to you even when there were loads of other spaces to choose from 🤷

EbonyRaven · 23/05/2023 11:37

VWHoliday · 23/05/2023 11:16

😂

@ShimmeringShirts you do seem very angry.

Show quote history

Angry indeed! 😆 As I say, must be one of those irksome 'must sit next to someone else and stick my neb in their life' folks, who has had people move away from her! Grin

biedrona · 23/05/2023 11:37

Kleptronic · 23/05/2023 09:50

Literally nothing runs through their heads, it's automatic and psychologists call it flocking. It's because we used to be fish or something https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23041055/#:~:text=Abstract,explicit%20inter%2Dindividual%20recruitment%20signals.

wow!

Twobyfour · 23/05/2023 11:39

Was the only person on a large deserted beach in Greece, sunbathing on a towel. A noisy German family arrived and set up close to me but the really annoying thing was as their children ran shouting towards the sea one of them trampled on my towel right next to my head. I’m sure it was deliberate, the fuckers!

willWillSmithsmith · 23/05/2023 11:41

Nearamir · 23/05/2023 11:30

It’s a bloody public cafe. They can sit where they like! To be ‘furious’ that they sat near you, at a table they chose, is a tad dramatic.

I dunno, I seethe inside when this is done 😁 are you saying if you were somewhere (anywhere, cafe, beach, cinema etc) and it was 99% empty you wouldn’t mind another person sitting by or next to you (cinema). That wouldn’t annoy you? What about if there were half a dozen empty toilet cubicles and you were in an end one and someone came in to the one right next to you so you could hear all their rustling, and them you? Or a train seat in an empty carriage and they plonked themselves next to you? Wouldn’t you think why?

3luckystars · 23/05/2023 11:43

@pippinsleftleg :
Flockers can flock off

😂😂😂

AddieLoggins2 · 23/05/2023 11:43

My Dad can be one of those people I think. Honestly if they are like my dad then nothing will have gone through their head, beyond 'there's a table, let's sit at it'.

I remember once going to see a show at a theme park - there was one family in the auditorium and we went in. My DC needed the toilet so me and Mum took them and Dad went in to get a seat. Obviously despite an otherwise empty auditorium he sat right next to the only other family in there!

When me and Mum came in with the kids we burst out laughing and sat somewhere else, then turned and gave my Dad 'wtf?!!' looks until he moved to join us. Mum muttered to me about having to 'watch your Dad or he does things like this'.

JudgeJ · 23/05/2023 11:45

FattyAirways · 23/05/2023 09:31

I was at a cafe enjoying breakfast. The cafe is big, got around 25 tables in. I was the only one in the cafe. A couple, came in, placed their order at the till and came and sat at the table right beside me! They had 20-odd other tables to choose from. My table wasn't in an enviable position in the cafe, no views out of the window, nothing special about this area in the cafe, yet they chose to do this. Why?

Reminds me of camping on the Rhine, a quiet, out of the way site with lots of room and very early season, we were the only caravan there and when we returned from a day out a second caravan was parked almost touching our window. OH decided to cook a very strong chilli but they stayed there, we could hear one of them snoring during the night.

ReflectedFlowers · 23/05/2023 11:51

ThoseDamnCrows · 23/05/2023 11:07

My MIL does this all the time, she's a true extrovert and needs to constantly be around other people. In a cafe she wants to see what the other diners are eating, does it look good and are they enjoying it? On public transport she wants to listen to conversations, and will happily join in so will always choose to sit very close to other passengers.

Last week I took her out for the day, our walking route took us past a certain clothes boutique four times. It had a sale rail outside which MIL wasn't interested in on the 2nd time, but was on the 1st 3rd and 4th purely because other women were looking through the clothes and she needed to see what they were interested in.
Similar in supermarkets, if someone else is buying it then it must be good.

Ah she sounds sweet. Like a Labrador.

CheekNerveGallAudacityandGumption · 23/05/2023 11:52

Herd mentality.

I find the same happens on tubes and trains.

Or maybe one of them has autism and always sits at the same table, etc.

takemetoyourdollshouse · 23/05/2023 11:53

I went to a shop the other day - heavily pregnant and with my young DC and chose to park in a long line of empty spaces so I’d have enough room to park and get out. Just as I’d walked around my car to get my DC and my bag out and had opened the car door another woman started slowly reversing into the space next to me (where I had the door open)🙄my look of complete exasperation must have been such that she decided against it and moved a few spaces down 😂