Nursery no longer lets parents in..

[MaryWhy]

I've just been to collect my DD from nursery early as she has a doctors appointment. When I arrive I'm told she's sleeping and I'll have to wait outside for a while whilst they wake her up, take her to the toilet and what not. She's 4 for reference and has long since dropped the naps at home but anyhow.

I was hoping to be able to use the loo quickly (i'm pregnant and was bursting!) so feel mildly annoyed by the new "rules" and lack of hospitality for parents.

No idea why the new rules exist, nursery employee was in a rush to close the door.

AIBU to find this odd?

Do you think we would just let parents wander around on their own, they would be escorted therefore wouldn't pose any safe guarding risk Staff are used to parents dropping off and picking up children, they wouldn't bat an eyelid and they children wouldn't care.

I'm guessing not in that many different Nurseries in recent years though?

This is very, very normal practice since it was forced upon Nurseries during Covid, and then Nurseries realised how much better it was for so many reasons.

Whether you think it is a positive change or not, Under what grounds would your complaint to OFSTED be ?

Room leader here, it’s not a bad sign at all (we’ve had impeccable ofsted results), it upsets the children, takes them out of routine and we had parents go into the wrong rooms. It’s a simple, walkie talkie up to your child’s room (we have 8 different rooms), and a staff member brings them down. Drop offs and pick ups are much easier since this.

I thought it was against the law not to let a pregnant woman use the toilet. Along with a policeman giving you their har to wee in!

I would consider this situation safeguarding concern, what don't they want you to see? If this were my child - they wouldn't return

Hat to wee in*

I worked in a nursery where this was the case, it was initially due to covid risk (if a parent comes into the nursery with their child and it ends up that they had covid we don’t know how many children came into close contact with them) and we found it so much better for not upsetting children as they can see their parent come in and have a meltdown and take a long time to settle. However, I don’t really understand not letting a pregnant women use the staff toilet when you were taking your child with you anyway.

About having to wait, did you ring the nursery and say I’ll be collecting her at so and so time, because if you did then they probably would’ve had her ready, but if you just show up it would take time to get her sorted. Also if you don’t want her napping there just say to them and they should prevent her napping. Only one child still napped in the 3-4 room where I worked.

From a mum of 3 who's worked in nurseries for over a decade I find it bizarre that nurseries don't want parents in. I know covid stopped it but we are no longer living with covid rules as such.
Parents and carers are the primary care givers and educators, we should be working in partnership with parents to best support children.
Parents shouldn't be left unattended with the children or allowed in children's toilets but they should definitely be valued as partners

I can see it from the other side. I wouldn’t want a load of parents who don’t have DBS checks in and out of the setting, unless for a planned event. It may be disruptive and upsetting for other children too who are missing their own parents.

I can’t see why you couldn’t go through reception to use the toilet though? I use the toilet in the main reception if I need to

Our nursery used to let you in pick up time but drop off at the door so they didn't get as upset. They changed managers and she stopped us going in which I didn't like as it was nice to go in. But I also do understand it. I'd personally just ask about it.

I can’t see why you couldn’t go through reception to use the toilet though? I use the toilet in the main reception if I need to

well clearly all nurseries are held in different buildings, and overwhelmingly won't have a toilet in the main reception - or even a 'main reception' in many cases.

So for tens of years it was acknowledged how important it was for children and for parents to be able to walk in and see how a child is in a nursery, and to settle them in, but since covid no parent access to nurseries has been normalised and nurseries have been turned into prisons where no parental vigilance is allowed and safeguarding compromised.
It's very poor and some shit nurseries and or in areas with shortage of supply keep making up excuses to keep parents out to stop complaints to ofsted, to stop you observing when they are our of ratios, noticing when someone raises their voice at children, or drags or pulls a child, or to stop you knowing your child sleeps most of the day in there, or has a nappy filled down to the floor for most of the day, or when crying children are left to cry their eyes out.
It is despicable that ofsted and the government has allowed the most vulnerable, voiceless members of society to continue to be mistreated like this, with babies as young as under 1 handed over the gate or door, often with strange staff since the regular ones may be too busy or out if ratios to leave the room to take your child, not settling the child into an activity before leaving, handing the child over to pretty much anyone when it's bank staff or staff from unfamiliar room. What does it teach kids being handed over at the door like this. These are babies and toddlers, and this is all very damaging. Nurseries submit paperwork to ofsted showing parents have access but in fact in some cases it's false. Complain to ofsted and complain to the council, leave reviews. Hopefully they'll close the abusive vicious fuckers who deny parents access down. Many have gone out of business after not reopening during covid when told so in may 2020 and further continuing with this shit, making up ridiculous excuses (e.g that kids settle quicker is a popular one) keeping the parents out, many simply do not send their kids to what's operating like a fucking jail for babies and toddlers. A patent should be able to walk in at any time and see their child in their environment and to assess it without any notice or prompt. Open door has always been and still is best practice. Of course you have security in place, as has always been the case.
You are not assisted by the gullible morons happy with any excuse nursery makes up or limited by the choice in their area. But this needs to stop. There are nurseries that do not allow parents in to phase a child or baby in, and requiring a baby who may have never been away from parents dropped at the door. Vile.

We aren’t allowed to let parents into school. They would have to have a staff member with them at all times and we don’t have anyone to escort people around. It’s a safe guarding issue and very good practice.

Has there been a case over the many years of operation of private day nurseries (which are quite small, with high staff:child ratios) of parents having done anything untoward to children while picking their own child up, dropping offs or unexpected visits? Unlikely.

But there have been many documented and many undocumented cases of staff abusing, neglecting, mistreating kids. DBS check or not. It just means the person hasn't been caught so far.

The fact that you are mentioning parents without DBS shows shockingly extreme levels of naivety.
You would have security and measures in place for parents, as has been the case for many years.

Don't make shit up. Even a moron understands how safeguarding is compromised when parents are denied access and parental vigilance is gone. Many choose nursery over childminders for open door policy and extra pairs of eyes reasons. Those simple nursery managers who thought wow jackpot let's just do what the fuck we want nobody will find out are going to end up in deep shit once there is an allegation since they for chose not to let parents in. It is poor safeguarding practice. And OFSTEAD most likely doesn't know And such settings will hopefully go out of business eventually.

Are the children at school aged 3 months to under 4 years? Are they mostly unable to speak or voice concerns to their parents, or tell them about their day? Are schools money making profit factories? Do schools routinely change nappies and have one on one access, including ability to undress, bathe or provide other intimate care? Do schools use mostly unqualified staff? Developmentally, and emotionally, are children at school at the same stage as a 6 month baby or a 18 month old toddler, who may have never been away from mum or dad? Do school teachers still pull, drag, shout at children, force them to eat lunch, bribe them with sweets?
Best schools do operste open door policy for parents, and open door is the best policy (please educate yourself it - doesn't mean anyone off the streets walks into a classroom at any time), they won't so much as apply suncream and will never be on their own with a child (who is 5+ years old), is independent, typically can talk and had 5 years of preparation for school.
You are comparing bananas with dinosaurs, using schools as an example.

I actually think this is a good sign and shows good safeguarding. You know that your not a risk to the other children but would you like random parents wandering in and out of a building were your child is kept?

Oh yes at the best schools you could exactly drop in in the middle of the day and see your child in action, if you were so inclined. They were also schools with some of the best security.

Babies and toddlers are quite a bit more vulnerable than schoolchildren. Did you know some won't have learnt to talk or understand what's right and what's not. That's why parents should be able to pop in. Good nurseries will have nothing to hide.

And of course nurseries and children are partnerships, they get to know you and the other way round, and child benefits from it.

Now many don't even know who collects a child and will hand over a preverbal baby to almost anyone who calls themselves mum or dad. This is a massive breach of safeguarding. Deregistration level and prosecution for owner. But woman and child territory, who cares, particularly not ofsted that elected to monitor nurseries and school over the phone for 3 years.

What are you talking about? Even a fairly crap nursery make sure children go home with the right person. That's basic.
I'm actually really upset that some people think nursery workers go in to a badly paid job with long hours and loads of unpaid overtime just so we can be horrible to children.
Nursery nurses have to love their job. There is absolutely no way you could do it otherwise.
Sure we have unqualified staff but most are working towards being qualified and well over 50% are level three qualified or above.
Not letting parents in at drop off and pick up doesn't mean anything other than making life easier for the children. Many do get upset when parents are coming in and out but their parents are coming later.
If you really believe we are all evil monsters then there is a really simple solution.

What kind of nursery was it? Private full day nursery for 0-4 y.o., rushed parents going to work or from work won't be bringing in a tribe with them.

It's not about convinience for the staff, or for the nursery owner, it's about what's best for the child. Parents not allowed in is extremely harmful for the child.

Now staff getting your kid ready, getting kid's things ready, bringing the kid to you, talking to you, when the ratio is 1:3 for the under 2s - to ensure their wellbeing, what happens to the other two babies when their carer is doing all of it. This is neglect, breach of ratios and safeguarding. I've seen kids all dressed in coats and waiting for parents by the door for up to an hour.

Would you dress your very young child to go out and make them sit by the door waiting for you for an hour at home? This is probably what your nursery is doing. Or many others.

No good nursery will ban parents, it goes against child wellbeing, and what's best for them, according to modern research and practice.

Why don't you ask them what it is they have to hide? They will lie to you but at least they'll know parents will be questioning. You are handing over your precious young child, of course, you should be allowed to go in with your child or come and visit them unannounced. It is absurd, it is your child and you have the right to see what's happening.

It wasn't a known issue for decades till the three years of the novel 19 shitshow after which all sorts of crap excuses started cropping up. Not letting parents in benefits nursery no end. It doesn't benefit the child.

So all of them can be upset now parents aren't settling them in? Not just the ones being collected? Except they probably have learnt to calm down and internalise it instead of crying since carers can now learn to leave them crying indefinitely - how would parents know.

In the years of collecting my kids in person, I've never seen other kids get upset. It wasn't a thing along with any other made up things nurseries have come up with having seen so how lovely it is not having parents snoop around. It's not lovely for the child.

You, and other pps, very well know, that random parents wouldn't be walking around nurseries and schools all day.
Most have jobs to do and there is no reason to be wandering there most of the time. Occasionally, when there is a need, then yes parents should have immediate access to their child in their environment.
This was the case before the bleating started in support of restrictions and now the same are bleating how lovely it is that they aren't allowed to their kids in the setting they pay to use. Probably the same sh..... that were begging for more lockdowns.

Because there is more risk from staff caring for your child than from parents. I don't think you used a private full day nursery for babies and toddlers before if you can't grasp the risk to the kids from nor having parents walking in.

Fairywhale, you’re just making shit up. Some of which is upsetting to read - and mostly isn’t true.

@Rosebel ignore. I’m so grateful for my son’s amazing nursery staff. I thought they were amazing when the doors were shut and I still think they are amazing now the doors are open.

I am not allowed into the nursery, it has never been an issue.

The nursery is small and there isn't room for parents to come in, plus there is a no shoe
policy.

Parents can speak to staff in the porch of required.

It has never crossed my mind that it's an issue. I am not allowed into Primary School either.

This is perhaps more eloquently put by ofsted and cited in the article below, if someone fails to understand risks and disadvantages to children of banning parents from inside the nursery. I honestly cannot imagine someone who actually used a baby/toddler full day childcare setting and saw how it works not understanding the risks and believing shit like "they settle quicker", or any other ridiculous excuse.
A lot of people gave their opinions but it's clear they cannot understand that schools and early years nurseries aren't comparable, and a 1 year old attending a full day setting is completely different to a 4 year old attending the same or a sessional, for instance, 3 hour setting and so on. They also don't seem to grasp the likelihood of risks and safeguarding issues from having/not having parents go inside.
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/nursery-safety-risk-parents-stopped-under-covid-rules-oftsed-report-b1013560.html