Nursery no longer lets parents in..

[MaryWhy]

I've just been to collect my DD from nursery early as she has a doctors appointment. When I arrive I'm told she's sleeping and I'll have to wait outside for a while whilst they wake her up, take her to the toilet and what not. She's 4 for reference and has long since dropped the naps at home but anyhow.

I was hoping to be able to use the loo quickly (i'm pregnant and was bursting!) so feel mildly annoyed by the new "rules" and lack of hospitality for parents.

No idea why the new rules exist, nursery employee was in a rush to close the door.

AIBU to find this odd?

I wouldn’t want parents dropping into my child’s setting at any time to disrupt their routine! Why on earth do you think people should just be able to drop in whenever? It would possibly cause unnecessary upset, cause activities to be paused while a member of staff attends to the parent and the longer these thing take the more disruption is causes. There is also a safeguarding risk of parents are coming in and out any time of the day. If a parent has to collect their child early it’s much better for everyone that it’s done in a speedy manner so the staff can get back to the other children in their care.

People only think of themselves. Entitled people.

To think that some people believe sketchy behaviour might be occuring is hilarious and pathetic. They don't think that THEY are the sketchy parent who wants to observe what they shouldn't. If not them, then there are at least another 30 parents who might be weirdos, per class. Staff go through all sorts to keep your kids safe and secure, not to mention children with SEN who could do with minimal disruption to their school day.

No forget all that, this mum wants to go into the class, grab her kid, check all is well, use the little toilets while her kid waits outside I guess, give staff a thumbs up, then leave staff to deal with whatever else next, perhaps another entitled parent who wants to do exactly the same thing.

Surely the disruption is going to be longer if the member of staff has to get the child ready to leave, shoes on etc. and take them to the door rather than the parent just coming in, grabbing their child, and getting them ready themselves? Me going in to pick up DS causes minimal disruption, just a quick click of my fob on the class phone to log him out, and there's always enough staff that one member taking 30 seconds to get the phone out is not going to pause an activity.

No random people are accessing your child. Other paying parents are coming in, supervised by the staff, to collect their own child.

Not really, a member of staff can put shoes and coat on whilst the child is in the room with the other children. They can then take them to the door and quickly get back to what they were doing. Having an adult there who doesn’t normally spend time with the children can disrupt them in a big way, especially with children who already may be finding nursery/preschool tricky. Any adult in the setting, other than a member of staff, should be supervised for safeguarding reasons rather than being allowed to wander around getting their child ready.

Depends on the nursery, at DS's nursery the cloakroom is downstairs while his classroom is upstairs so not possible for a staff member to get them ready while still being in the same room as the other children, shoes aren't allowed past the outer cloakroom. The only time I've been met at the door was when he was going to the out of hours class and they had to come unlock the door because it was so early that the code lock wasn't in use.

So, @MaryWhy , what did they say when you asked them about the sudden change yesterday ?

Where I work we don't generally allow parents in because it's easier to take the children out and it avoids some children getting upset as we can take the child out discreetly.
Parents do now (only very recently since Covid) come in for things like Parents Evening and Christmas or Easter events. Also they can come in and pick up but only after 4 if they really prefer it. Before 4 it's too much with tea and nappies to have parents in too.
We would always allow a pregnant woman or any parent really to use the toilet though.

I’m on my school’s PTFA committee - my oldest is in the nursery attached to the school - and I had to be DBS checked in order to be allowed on the premises set up for fundraisers etc. however I’m still only allowed in at prearranged times and in set areas of the school.
I find this reassuring because I know nobody else is being allowed to wander around.
If a parent (or prospective parent) wants to look around or speak to a teacher then this is allowed but accompanied and arranged at a time that suits routines and timetables.
Would you want every other parent to be allowed to go in whilst your child is sleeping?

You might be alright. But would you want a potentially bad parent let in to use the loo and then have access to your sleeping child. It's not worth the risk.

Hey, I work in the nursery so hope I can be of some help.

Firstly I would definitely voice my concerns to a manager either face to face, on the phone or in an email. Explain why this handover worried you because it could be that the said member of staff was being out of line and the manager is unaware.

Also, we don't have 4 year olds sleeping at nursery so I would question why she is napping. We do have a policy that states if a child falls asleep we cannot wake them BUT we always call the parent because it could be they are unwell or had a bad night and then it gives the parent the option to collect them. That being said we do our best to keep them occupied so they don't fall asleep.

As to not being allowed in.. we stopped it during COVID but we have allowed parents back in for a long time now so maybe question the nursery as to why they are doing this and the benefit to it.

Were the nursery aware of the appointment? I find it strange that they let her sleep when they knew you would be collecting, they should have really had her ready for you. Maybe the nursery has really bad communication?

X

I have a dbs with my child's school as i support readers, i still only get to go into my child's classroom when specifically invited for parent things (this has happened once this school year for wbd).

I'm sure maybe by law. You can't be refused to use a toilet if your pregnant.

Wasn’t it simply because it was nap time therefore all children were sleeping?

This would bother me. Went to view a nursery the other day and was surprised to see how run down it was. I wondered if it used to be in better shape but parents are unaware as they just drop off at the door these days.

This will be due to a safeguarding audit or some event where a risk to staff or children has been identified. The layout and organisation of each setting varies and safeguarding needs to be adjusted to the needs of the cohorts and also risks from parents. There is also the additional problem of theft of laptops and devices with ongoing records of children's daily activities by parents and staff safety.

We don't have parents on the premises unless they have a meeting.

There is no right for pregnant women to access toilets as needed. It is a misunderstanding of the fact you can't be refused solely on being pregnant. If everyone is disallowed then being pregnant gives you no additional rights over others.
If staff toilets are for staff which excludes non staff then anyone can be refused if disabled or pregnant. It simply means that they can't have a no pregnancy policy, a racist policy or any policy that excludes that group as oppose to others.

The school does not have to allow a pregnant person access unless every other parent has the same access.

All handover is at the door at ours. Both drop off and pick up. Their key person brings them out and tells us about their day etc. we started during covid so I don’t know if it was different before

I really don't think this is that weird? Ours has never had parents in (although you can go in, for instance we go in to have quarterly catch ups with the key worker). But all pick up and drop off is done at the door. I think we were told it was to stop muck being dragged through the rooms (especially in babies) and also just because it can be chaotic at 8/9 or 4/5 when loads of pick up and drop offs are happening at once.

If you have concerns, maybe just ask nursery staff the reason behind this. I wouldnt jump to removing the child at this

My nursery hasn't let parents in since covid. Parents are fine with it. It makes drop off and collection a hell of a lot quicker. I have my two children in two diff nurseries (due to availability not by choice) and it's SO much quicker to drop and collect my son at the door which I love as I'm a full time working mum so have to get back or go into London to start work. Ours has a virtual doorbell so when you're there you let them know through an app and they get your child ready and tell you when they are bringing them to the door meaning no long waits outside. Felt weird initially in 2020 but now we all (majority) love it.

I would be contacting OFSTED. Having spent years in Early years, i can think of no reason to refuse a parent entry. What have they got to hide would be my first thought.

You've spent years in Early Years and can't see how there are Safeguarding concerns to letting parents into the school?

There is no such law.

If the toilet is not for members of the public you can't use it.

However where I live the local boroughs have a toilet scheme so lots of pubs and restaurants allow members of the public to use their toilets.

However some don't and have signs saying "Toilets only for patrons". So it is confusing as one say pub/restaurant in a chain will allow you use to use their toilet, but 2 miles away in the same borough a pub/restaurant in the same chain doesn't allow it.

The only exception to the "Toilets only patrons" sign is if you have a card which you can get if you have a disability where you need the toilet more frequently than usual, but that scheme doesn't cover healthy pregnant women.

Never been allowed in my sons nursery unless he’s poorly and I’ve been asked to collect him. Never bothered me. The amount of parents there are at drop off time would make it a nightmare if they were all inside.

Wow, that’s a bit of a leap! So you would like any parent to be able to go in at any time of the day (bearing in mind OP was collecting early),disturb the children, possibly wake resting children, take staff away from what they are doing as they would need to be supervised and pose extra safeguarding risks? Would you also say a parent should be allowed in a school classroom at any time during the day too?