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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery no longer lets parents in..

183 replies

MaryWhy · 22/05/2023 14:41

I've just been to collect my DD from nursery early as she has a doctors appointment. When I arrive I'm told she's sleeping and I'll have to wait outside for a while whilst they wake her up, take her to the toilet and what not. She's 4 for reference and has long since dropped the naps at home but anyhow.

I was hoping to be able to use the loo quickly (i'm pregnant and was bursting!) so feel mildly annoyed by the new "rules" and lack of hospitality for parents.

No idea why the new rules exist, nursery employee was in a rush to close the door.

AIBU to find this odd?

OP posts:
RandomCatGenerator · 22/05/2023 16:00

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 22/05/2023 15:56

So even though your child goes to this nursery and may well bring home chicken pox, you can't go in because you're pregnant. Even though chicken pox is not really a risk to a pregnant woman who has already had it.

I mean, I understand what they're trying to achieve (although I think it should be your decision) but it seems a bit pointless.

Show quote history

Yes it is definitely a weird policy. I think the idea is to limit my contact with other children who may have chickenpox, while my child doesn’t.

lunar1 · 22/05/2023 16:02

They've probably had a parent being a complete pain and taking advantage. I would be less impressed with my 4 year old napping if that's a regular thing!

troppibambini6 · 22/05/2023 16:03

Is it not because if other little ones see a child being collected it will upset them if their mum/ dad isn't there picking them up? I can imagine it's very disruptive having parents in and out.

UsingChangeofName · 22/05/2023 16:34

It seems strange to have suddenly decided this today, and to not have communicated it to parents. But I can't understand why you didn't ask at that point.

However, many, many nurseries did this because they had to during Covid, and then realised how much better it is for the children, so I don't think it is that odd as a policy, more the fact that it has suddenly changed today.

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 22/05/2023 19:26

I would not be happy with this. I want to be able to see regularly how clean, organised and safely the place is being maintained and I think it os easy to cut corners or standards be allowed to slip if parents have no access. This happened in my kids gymnastics club. We were bot allowed over the threshold. Kids told us there were mouse droppings and the place was filthy. My older child got injured just before home time and he texted me. I insisted on being allowed in much to their annoyance as they said they would bring him out. Everything the lids had said was true and the ratio of staff to kids was a joke and not what we were lead to believe.

chezpopbang · 22/05/2023 19:39

My nursery did no access during covid but this has long since stopped

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 22/05/2023 19:44

I get being miffed about suddenly being allowed in but I’d ask for a reason. However, using the toilet is a bit weird! Pregnant or not!

LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 22/05/2023 19:46

We started doing this. Parents can drop off that's fine and collection is done at the door. Mainly cause schools round here operate similar and it was starting to get very disruptive. It works but obviously we communicated this with parents first..

Essie274 · 22/05/2023 19:52

Starting after half term, parents aren't supposed to come into our nursery anymore either (not a ban, but it's the "new routine" to supposedly get the older ones ready for starting school in Sept - it's a nursery for 2-4yos not very little ones). Maybe they've actually implemented something like that but a member of staff got the wrong end of the stick?

KateyCuckoo · 22/05/2023 20:00

I'm a childminder and do doorstep handovers. I've been back and forth on the policy and when I let them in, parents just stay too long and I end up getting behind with the children's routines, they take my attention away from where I am needed and I can't just get them out without being blunt.

marshmallowmatcha · 22/05/2023 20:04

This was normal during covid and worked OK but was a pain when picking them up as it would take ages.

I can see why they would have a blanket not parents in the loos.

Perhaps as PP have said there's been an issue. Or it might be too disruptive when parents go in. Ask the manager they should be able to fill you in.

marshmallowmatcha · 22/05/2023 20:05

Maybe they've got a kid there who they can't have everyone knowing is there.

Cocolocobaby · 22/05/2023 20:36

We don’t have parents in at all. They are invited to parents events and of course for a viewing but it just wouldn’t work.
safeguarding would be crazy .
parents ring the door and wait . We do a full handover .
I can’t imagine how chaotic and unsettling it would be for children having parents in and out .

Mrsmaggie27 · 23/05/2023 08:25

I think at 4 this is perfectly fine. My sons nursery don’t allow you in but have a few “stay and play” sessions throughout the year. I don’t see why you would need to be in every day especially when collecting at a time which would unsettle all the other children. I wouldnt want other parents roaming about the room at all times throughout the day.
Maybe there was no time for an explanation right there and then. you went to collect your child early and they will have been busy. I am sure if you email them they won’t refuse to tell you a reason for the change.

Sunshine275 · 23/05/2023 08:32

Both my daughters nursery’s have always just said for us to wait outside. It’s safer than lots of parents coming in and out with the risk of a child escaping under to it legs. I’m sure had you asked given your pregnant they would have let you.

Refrosty · 23/05/2023 08:36

I don't go into my son's nursery class unless we have meetings with the teachers. His nursery class is treated like a normal school class (it's attached to a school). Kids are called to the door for us to collect them. Never thought it weird, because what business do I have in the class other than my son, especially during nursery hours where there are other children who also need to be safeguarded/not disrupted?

You actually wanted to use their toddler toilet? Okay.

Ihaveshitfriends · 23/05/2023 08:48

One of the nurseries that I’ve used had to close to parents as they had a sibling of a high profile dead child think baby P. Social services had told them they weren’t allowed to let the other parents see the child in case we recognised him/her. So might be a safeguarding issue?

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 23/05/2023 08:53

I'm surprised that with Safeguarding any nursery let's parents in! I'd be less comfortable with a nursery where parents can come in at any time. Between Safeguarding reasons and then the disruption to the other children when Bessie's Mom comes in to take her home.

And with some of the comments on here basically saying "we like to be able to check up on the staff" I can see why they wouldn't want parents in either.

Heckythump1 · 23/05/2023 09:03

My youngest DD (2.5) goes to the nursery at her older sisters school, since covid all children are dropped off at the school gate and walk down to class on their own, including nursery (nursery door is right opposite gates and there's lots of TA's on the gate to walk them down if need be) with the exception of nursery children who are allowed to be walked to the nursery door by parents.
I do currently walk DD down to the door as she's tiny for her age and I worry about her getting trampled.
She is not at all phased about going in on her own, never has been since she started in January, she's never once cried. I think it's brilliant for fostering independence, all the older nursery children are happily trundling down to class by themselves and it means they're super ready for reception!

Natsku · 23/05/2023 09:03

I wouldn't like that, I like being able to go into DS's nursery and see the artwork and photos on the walls and say hello to his friends. It wouldn't be possible to drop or pick up at the door at his nursery anyway, its very big and there's no single door as there's a door for each group of classes, not visible from the rooms so no staff are going to see anyone at the door, and his group is upstairs, though if you time it right you can drop off and pick up during the morning and afternoon outside times so you don't need to go in the building.

Heckythump1 · 23/05/2023 09:04

Refrosty · 23/05/2023 08:36

I don't go into my son's nursery class unless we have meetings with the teachers. His nursery class is treated like a normal school class (it's attached to a school). Kids are called to the door for us to collect them. Never thought it weird, because what business do I have in the class other than my son, especially during nursery hours where there are other children who also need to be safeguarded/not disrupted?

You actually wanted to use their toddler toilet? Okay.

Nurseries do tend to have toilets for the staff as well! :P

Spacestace · 23/05/2023 09:07

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 23/05/2023 08:53

I'm surprised that with Safeguarding any nursery let's parents in! I'd be less comfortable with a nursery where parents can come in at any time. Between Safeguarding reasons and then the disruption to the other children when Bessie's Mom comes in to take her home.

And with some of the comments on here basically saying "we like to be able to check up on the staff" I can see why they wouldn't want parents in either.

There's an ocean between parents going in at any time and the nursery not allowing any parent across the threshold, especially if this is a change and hasn't always been the case.

YorkshireIndie · 23/05/2023 09:09

Never been allowed in the nursery- drop off and pick up is done at the door. Been that way since Covid

LaMaG · 23/05/2023 09:12

I'd have a bigger issue with putting a 4 yr old down for a nap? Implies they have her in the wrong room. Where I work the children in full care move age 3 from toddler to preschool room where they no longer nap. Those struggling to drop the nap obviously wait a bit longer to transition, but if yours doesn't nap at home there is no way they should be encouraging her, maybe just to facilitate staff breaks?? I'd be querying this for sure.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 23/05/2023 09:14

Spacestace · 23/05/2023 09:07

There's an ocean between parents going in at any time and the nursery not allowing any parent across the threshold, especially if this is a change and hasn't always been the case.

Show quote history

That depends on the layout of the nursery entry.
If they have a closed off entrance where parents can wait, without then potentially interacting with a child then parents could be allowed to wait there.

As PP has said. There are a number of reasons why it might have changed. There may have been an incident which has caused them to tighten up procedure (perhaps a parent not allowed to see the child getting in so having to change the way its done to "hold" parent outside so they can call the authorities, or a parent causing a scene in the nursery with the staff), a new child starting who needs a higher level of Safeguarding, infection control....