Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery no longer lets parents in..

183 replies

MaryWhy · 22/05/2023 14:41

I've just been to collect my DD from nursery early as she has a doctors appointment. When I arrive I'm told she's sleeping and I'll have to wait outside for a while whilst they wake her up, take her to the toilet and what not. She's 4 for reference and has long since dropped the naps at home but anyhow.

I was hoping to be able to use the loo quickly (i'm pregnant and was bursting!) so feel mildly annoyed by the new "rules" and lack of hospitality for parents.

No idea why the new rules exist, nursery employee was in a rush to close the door.

AIBU to find this odd?

OP posts:
CooCooCaChu · 23/05/2023 09:15

I've used one nursery that door pick up only during Covid, then you could go in. Current one is door only.

I much prefer door only. Going in was nice a couple of times to see them playing in the garden or similar but was actually much harder to get them, sort out coats and bags etc, battle with baby gates, get them to the door without being distracted by a million things. Other children coming up to you, wondering where their parent is. Or on drop off, other parents hanging round for ages, inequality between how long people stay. Etc etc.

Door collection isn't sinister at all and is so much easier all round.

OnlyFannys · 23/05/2023 09:16

I've never been to a nursery where they do let you in, I thought that was standard practice tbh so I'm surprised to see that so many say they have always been allowed in

Athrawes · 23/05/2023 09:17

I've not had a preschool, primary or, now, intermediate, where I was not welcome in the class at any time.
I'd expect different in high school.
But we are in NZ.

Wicksytricksy · 23/05/2023 09:21

DDs old nursery let us back in to the room after covid but it was chaos - I once walked out with DD with no one noticing after trying to get a staff members attention and failing.

DS is collect from the door and is much better - quicker, less disruptive for the kids still waiting for pick up. I saw the room at settling in, I've been to parents evening, the app is updated regularly, it's fine.

ShimmeringShirts · 23/05/2023 09:21

DS3 started nursery during the pandemic, all parents were banned from entering the building. In the 2 years he was there I didn’t get to see the nursery once, first time I actually saw it was at his “graduation” ceremony. I remember feeling really heartbroken at the time, I’d loved the stay and play sessions and seeing DC play with their friends when it was pick up time and being able to say hi to their key workers etc. I never got any of that with DC3 and it did upset me. I’m over it now he’s in P1 though, doesn’t feel like a massive deal anymore!

Beautiful3 · 23/05/2023 09:26

I've been on both sides, it's actually better for everyone, to collect at the door. Parents picking up kids earlier, can upset the other children. It takes longer to go in to get them, and they want to show you everything, before getting their bag/coat. Staff have to escort you, taking staff away from duties. Better all round to collect at the door.

ViolaV · 23/05/2023 09:27

I wouldn't be happy with my 4 year old napping. They will be at school in a few months. Sounds like an unusual set up.

User9056780 · 23/05/2023 09:30

strawberry2017 · 22/05/2023 15:45

Parents going in are very disruptive. You don't go in to a school to collect so I understand it.

Dangerous as well. 40 parents each taking up 15 minutes of the staff’s time? That’s 10 hours - a whole day - when the staff’s attention is on the parents and not the children.

I don’t let parents into my nursery for this reason. The staff are there to look after the children, not the parents.

DurdleLau · 23/05/2023 09:39

During covid our preschool stopped any parents from going into the building and they’ve kept the rule. Kids are handed over at the gate. I think it’s just to make life easier for the nursery assistants.

snoozingbaby1476 · 23/05/2023 09:42

I'm a childminder & this became the norm during Covid. I've kept it up as when parents get into the house it takes forever for them to leave as the kids want to show them things, they start chatting with other parents etc and to be honest, at the end of my working day I want to tidy up & focus on mg family
However, parents are always welcome in if they ask & can always use the loo!

MrFlobby · 23/05/2023 09:44

Ours don’t let you in, never have. I’ve always presumed it because you’re not really meant to be in there mingling with other peoples children, potentially leaving doors open etc. I just drop her at the door at ring the bell to pick her up. I don’t think it’s unusual!

Dedodee · 23/05/2023 09:46

Dgs nursery has a stable door so we can see in but not allowed in. Seems fine to me.

Original poster
MaryWhy · 23/05/2023 09:54

Refrosty · 23/05/2023 08:36

I don't go into my son's nursery class unless we have meetings with the teachers. His nursery class is treated like a normal school class (it's attached to a school). Kids are called to the door for us to collect them. Never thought it weird, because what business do I have in the class other than my son, especially during nursery hours where there are other children who also need to be safeguarded/not disrupted?

You actually wanted to use their toddler toilet? Okay.

Do you think the staff and manager use toddler toilets? Weird.

OP posts:
RayofSunshine18 · 23/05/2023 10:04

My daughter's nursery did this during COVID - they would answer the door and then go and get her and bring her to the front door. It meant pick up took a LOT longer but was much less chaotic as prior to that there were children and parents everywhere and drop off and pick ups. We weren't allowed in unless it was for an event (like her Easter Parade / Graduation etc). Not unusual or suspicious in general but odd for them to have just started randomly doing it.

brunettemic · 23/05/2023 10:13

Just ask why, I can’t fathom how people make these things into such an issue!

FernGully43 · 23/05/2023 10:14

Yeah that's odd. We pick my son up earlier than the rest and they do ask us then to wait outside because one boy in particular struggles loads with his dad also not being there to collect him so we understand this. However, when I go and I need to change the baby, they always let me in to a side room to do it.

Plus we're allowed in mornings as usual. So yeah, if there were a valid reason, I'd understand but in your case, it doesn't sound like it. So it's weird.

PurpleWisteria1 · 23/05/2023 10:19

Kanaloa · 22/05/2023 14:58

Schools don’t let you in? I’ve been in my kids’ primary school several times. I collected them from the door in reception class. I would certainly be allowed to look in their classroom if I asked to do so.

And anyway it’s completely irrelevant. OP chose a nursery that allowed parents to go inside. They have then decided to change it with no explanation. That wouldn’t suit me, because I would want a nursery that allowed parents inside.

Show quote history

most schools say goodbye to parents at the playground gate or in the playground. Parents certainly arnt wandering in and out of the reception classroom in any school I’ve taught at or had my kids in. Wouldn’t be room and not safe either - too many people coming and going and not being able to properly see each child.
They do stay and play mornings where you can be with your child in the classroom for a morning etc (you sign in at the office and get a visitors badge) but not pick up or drop off.
If you want to collect a child mid day you wait at the office and a staff member brings your child to you. You certainly don’t go wandering in to the classroom- complete safe guarding issue there- quite honestly I would worry about any school or nursery that is letting parents in and out at any / various times each day.
As the OP’s DD is 4 this is almost school age so I don’t see what the problem is? Just wait outside and they will bring your child to you. Presumably you have seen inside the nursery other times or on organised visits?

isianana · 23/05/2023 10:21

Sounds like power hungry staff.

JustBeKindItsEasy · 23/05/2023 10:24

This is a good security issue.
Nursery workers have enough to do without watching out for parents.

isianana · 23/05/2023 10:36

They are paid a decent amount of money no?

MeridianB · 23/05/2023 10:41

This is very odd and I would be really unhappy about it. Because it would suggest there is some kind of problem or something to hide.

Have you asked them for an explanation?

User1367349 · 23/05/2023 10:44

I wouldn’t trust a nursery that wasn’t reasonably open to parents, without allowing disruptions.

AbreathofFrenchair · 23/05/2023 10:49

isianana · 23/05/2023 10:36

They are paid a decent amount of money no?

Nursery Practitioners are minimum wage, hardly a good wage.

OP why haven't you asked them rather than stewing on it and conjuring up different situations?!

It all could have been avoided with "what are the reasons for parents not being allowed in?"

Why have people lost the ability to ask the questions to the people than can answer them as opposed to clueless people in the internet?!

Reugny · 23/05/2023 10:52

isianana · 23/05/2023 10:21

Sounds like power hungry staff.

Huh?

Nope.

I don't go into my CM's house nor my DD's nursery.

I want my DD out as quick as possible and she comes out quicker if I hover around the door. With nursery we aren't allowed in except at specific times due to safeguarding.

With the two schools opposite me parents line up to collect their children.

Reugny · 23/05/2023 10:52

isianana · 23/05/2023 10:36

They are paid a decent amount of money no?

The staff aren't.