Sibs think we should sell to pay care home fees

[SeriouslyTryadifferentstory]

Context: Victorian semi, converted into two one bed flats by myself and my parents in the '90s. I married and DH and I have continued to live in and own the ground floor flat, with extension and garden (and paid off the bloody mortgage!) , parents owned (paid for outright) and lived in the upper flat. Mum died a decade ago and Dad has recently moved into a care home so his flat has to be sold to pay the fees. DH is also battling a chronic illness.

My brothers (2 of them) think that we should "just sell the whole house and we'll find you "somewhere to live". My Sis is telling them to back off and I just want everyone to go away and leave me alone.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

If the house being split into 2 flats was done properly with legal paperwork and you paid a mortgage on your flat then it bongs to you and has no bearing on selling your parents flat. Tell your brothers to back off.

FWIW, OP, the prospect of inheritance always seems to bring out the worst in people. A relative of mine, living at his mum’s rented house, bought the rented house so his Mum wouldn’t have to worry about paying rent, made her a joint owner, and she lived there until she died, without making any contribution to bills Etc. as he was willing to pay for all bills and food for her. This meant that she spent her final years being able to go out and meet with friends and enjoy her life.
When she died, the relatives brothers and sisters and in-laws all came crawling out of the woodwork demanding “their share” of the house. They were all very displeased that they had been “cheated” out of “their” inheritance (which didn’t exist, as my relative had bought the house outright and given his mum security in her final years!)
He very nicely put it down to human nature and they all made up eventually!

Absolutely tell them to do one. Given your update, there is absolutely no logical reason for them to suggest this. It's your home of 30 years or so, and which has absolutely no legal connecting to the flat above.

There's no need to say any more, but if he tempted to add what a pp said, just to confirm how unreasonable the suggestion is.

I might also remind them that moving house is stressful and expensive - even if your siblings covered your costs of moving - and you already have enough to deal with given that your husband is ill.

Oops. Apologies for the multiple typos in my post above

Good for you Op! Tell them that and stick to your guns.

we really don't want to move

Well that's the answer then!

Initially I thought ‘that sounds messy’ but it’s not messy at all.

why would you sell your home? It’s completely separate by the sounds of it, are they going to sell their homes?

Make sure if they sell your parents home that you get your share in that too, it sounds like your siblings are trying to shaft you. I hope I’m wrong. Sorry about your parents x

Your home is your home and no one should be putting pressure on you to sell it. I wonder if renting the top flat to help with care home feed would be an option. That way the flat would still be there to sell later and as some of the care home feed would have been provided by the rent it's possible that the whole value of the flat won't go on care home fees 🤔
There seems little point, as well as being totally unfair, to expect you to give up your home to get more money on the sale of the whole property to use for care home fees. Lots of people don't have any assets at all for the fees. When the value of your parents flat is used the family won't be asked for the rest of the fees so surely you would go through all that upheaval for no reason?

So basically they want you to give them your flat as a gift? Why are you even discussing this?

I don’t understand why your brothers think it would make sense to sell both flats. Surely your just end up having to sell 2 properties instead of one?

But is some of your Dad’s money still in your flat? Does it contain some of his estate, or did you fully buy him out?

When you say, the properties were legally separated and you had a mortgage, presumably this means that you bought the ground floor of the house from your parents, and it's all legally documented now as two separate properties with completely separate ownership? If so, it's unbelievable that your brothers think that you should sell your home and move elsewhere in order to accommodate the sale of the upstairs flat! Is it even certain that the house would be worth more being sold as a single unit, as it still remains as two completely separate properties? Does that even make the property more attractive to potential buyers, as it would involve two separate sales with double the legal fees, survey fees et cetera et cetera?

Make sure if they sell your parents home that you get your share in that too, it sounds like your siblings are trying to shaft you

There isn't a share of the parents' flat, OP's father is still alive.

Disclaimer- I am not a lawyer and it may be better to seek legal advice just to do the belt and braces over the house ownership, but- do you own the property (as in are the owners on the Land Registry) and did you take the mortgage out in your own names before paying it off?

If all that is yours completely then why are your brothers after your legally owned flat?

Is there a freehold issue? If not it's difficult to see what's going on here but I would tell them that the only available flat is your fathers, you own yours and have paid the mortgage and that's that! Renting his out may be a good solution.

Given your update, your are totally NBU! Tell your brothers to get lost!

The mortgage was taken out in the bottom flat, at the market rate once all the renovations had been completed.

In whose name was the mortgage taken out? Who is the legal owner of the flat?

If you and your husband bought it from your parents, paid them the market rate, and the sale was registered in the usual way, then of course you tell your brother to take a hike. But I notice there is unusual use of the passive tense here "the mortgage was taken out".

Given the situation and that the sale was, I take it complete a few years ago this is a wtaf are the brothers thinking here?! That flat is very much not part of the estate unless there is a continuing lease/ freehold situation? But with the property now two for the purposes of council tax and utilities there'd have to be a strong compelling argument to turn it back into one dwelling to planning. Then there's the renovation it wouldn't be worth more!

Do your brothers actually know you bought the flat and it is in your sole ownership? The phrasing of their 'request' makes it sound like they think you just never left home.

This thread does not make any sense.

Is the clue in the OP's user name? SeriouslyTryadifferentstory?

Tell db you will sell up when he does. Then you can get neighbouring caravans somewhere together.
Bet he shuts the fuck up then.

wow your brothers are really horrible. Sorry to hear you have to deal with CF family as well as your dad and DH illnesses.

Blimey people, it's all in Op's posts, you could at least bother to read them, there are only two.

The post makes perfect sense.

She and her husband own their flat - legally all sorted out at the time the property was split.

Is it possible your brothers think your parents owned both flats, so have made a mistake in asking for this?

If not, and they do know, then their behaviour is totally unacceptable. Next time they raise it, tell them to sell their homes! I'm glad your DS is sticking up for you.

It doesn’t make any sense, you’d still be taking at least 50% of the proceeds. If not actually more as surely your flat is worth more as it’s the ground floor with garden.

tell them no and it’s not up for debate.

Presumably your flat is in your / your husbands name?

I fail to understand why your brothers would even suggest this, it's your home that (I assume) you paid for.

Was the house (as a whole) originally owned by your parents? When you took the mortgage out, was that to pay your parents ie you bought the flat from them?

Your brothers are chancers, aren't they? Whenever there's money around, you find out who people really are. Tell them to do one.