Sibs think we should sell to pay care home fees

[SeriouslyTryadifferentstory]

Context: Victorian semi, converted into two one bed flats by myself and my parents in the '90s. I married and DH and I have continued to live in and own the ground floor flat, with extension and garden (and paid off the bloody mortgage!) , parents owned (paid for outright) and lived in the upper flat. Mum died a decade ago and Dad has recently moved into a care home so his flat has to be sold to pay the fees. DH is also battling a chronic illness.

My brothers (2 of them) think that we should "just sell the whole house and we'll find you "somewhere to live". My Sis is telling them to back off and I just want everyone to go away and leave me alone.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

It sounds like reconciliation with one of the brothers might be wise and would probably keep the whole family happy but don't give in to demands about your own home. As for if the father should sell his leasehold flat for care home fees the sisters who have POA can help decide if father is unable to take own decisions any more. Sometimes equity release is another option,

As to care homes etc only about 1 in 5 people ever need one so I am not that keen taxes might go up even higher to pay for them. As it is already those who pay privately often subsidise those in the same home being paid for by the local authority which is completely unfair.

(tony is correct above. Anyone in these situations should pay for a bit of advice from a solicitor who has all the relevant facts. Often on MN incorrect things are said about IHT and about deprivation of assets for care home purposes so best to check with a solicitor)

Often on MN incorrect things are said about IHT and about deprivation of assets for care home purposes so best to check with a solicitor)

I did. His advice was the reverse of @tonyatotter’s. Not that I’d have done it anyway. My parents saved all their lives for a rainy day so it was only right to use the money for its intended purpose.

He was quite happy to go along with A's plans, to try to persuade me to sell my flat to A at less than market value. I've no idea what was in his mind, not do I care.

You owe your brothers nothing. Keep away from them. They're the kind of people to prey on you, while you're vunerable, scamming you out of money. Nothing good will come from them. You're lucky you've seen the real them.

Can't believe how your brothers have tried to shaft you!

Not to mention the horrible thought of turning your lovely garden into a tarmac'ed space ("They paved Paradise and put in a parking lot" springs to mind).

I can understand you being interested in a valuation - but stand firm against your brothers - unless, of course, it's an offer you can't refuse" and you decide it's worth your while selling, in which case TAKE YOUR FULL SHARE!

What a pair of tossers - mind, I could see my siblings pulling a trick like this. 🙁

Given that property prices are at an all time high, if you sold your flat, you could possibly end up homeless as rental properties are expensive and in short supply. Do your DB want to use the money from the sale of both flats for the care home fees? Are they going to match any contribution you make? I very much doubt it. The most equatable solution would be to rent your DF flat out on short term leases and if the tenants are problamatic, you're on the spot to control the situation and cancel the lease. If your DB won't agree to this, tell him he can sell his home or remortgage it. If your DF is competent to make decisions, maybe he could remortgage the flat with a no payment loan and the flat be sold on his death. Any money left after the loan was paid off would go towards the DS inheritance.