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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my (ex)manager was too harsh?

233 replies

cocunut · 20/05/2023 23:44

Sorry for the long post, don't want to drip feed. Tonight I got sent home from my minimum wage hospitality job. I recently started working evenings and weekends to get some extra money (no kids of my own but I'm an early years teacher for context as to why I'm on here).

I've not worked in hospitality for a few years but started this job a few weeks ago and have really enjoyed it so far. All my colleagues are lovely, studenty types, and I thought the managers were lovely too until tonight.

I basically f**ked up big time with a hygiene breach. My colleague messed up an order for a table and the kitchen were getting food out as quickly as they could. I wasn't sure exactly what each table had ordered as they weren't in my section but long story short I took the wrong food to the wrong table. No biggie, I thought, and the customers hadn't touched the food as it had been down for about 10 seconds, when I realised it was the wrong order. I quickly picked the food back up and ran it to the next table over. Thought nothing of it.

My manager basically pulled me aside and told me what I'd done was unacceptable and I should've taken the food back to the kitchen and got them to remake the dishes (again, as my colleague had messed them up already). Another manager came and said the same thing, at this point I'm feeling quite ganged up on and said "Okay, I'm really sorry. I've apologised to everyone, Bollocking accepted, can I just get back to my tables now."

At this point I'm told to "just clock out". I'm honestly gutted as I'm still on probation and it was a genuine error of judgement with the food. I was just stood there trying not to burst into tears as I clocked out. I said "see you next week" to which I got no response and I'm about 90% certain they won't have me back.

Did I seriously fuck up that badly, or was my manager just being harsh?

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 20/05/2023 23:50

I think remaking the food is ridiculous. We were given the wrong food at a pub meal the other week and hadn't touched it and they just came and too it to the correct table. Maybe they just thought you were being a bit rude saying what you did ?

SeaPink · 20/05/2023 23:50

Yanbu. What a waste of food. I don't think what you said was wrong either

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 20/05/2023 23:51

Your response was quite short and could have been taken as being quite snipey.

"I'm sorry, I'll remember for next time" would have been better.

It's possible you thought you were on more friendly terms with them than you thought. Or because it was a hygiene breach, something they could face major repercussion for, they felt your rather blaise response showed you didn't care about those matters.

Azandme · 20/05/2023 23:52

The dismissive attitude in your response is probably what did it, rather than the error itself.

Original poster
cocunut · 20/05/2023 23:53

I'm autistic (high functioning) but sometimes I do just say exactly what's on my mind without thinking first😭 I also don't handle criticism well (something I'm working on in therapy atm) I can see how they maybe took offence to what I said more than what I did. I just feel so stupid !! I also really needed the money from this job... I just didn't see the need for two managers to tell me the same thing. At that point I knew I'd made a mistake and I'd apologised for it so in my head didn't make sense for them to keep banging on about it..: maybe it is the autism getting in the way there. So frustrating that's all 😫

OP posts:
Blablablanamechangagain · 20/05/2023 23:56

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 20/05/2023 23:51

Your response was quite short and could have been taken as being quite snipey.

"I'm sorry, I'll remember for next time" would have been better.

It's possible you thought you were on more friendly terms with them than you thought. Or because it was a hygiene breach, something they could face major repercussion for, they felt your rather blaise response showed you didn't care about those matters.

This.

I assume you know nothing of the scale of fines that can be applied to hospitality industries.

Considering you're so new, maybe you should have checked with someone what the procedure was. Rather than assuming you knew best.

Also. Would I hell want food that had been sat on someone else's table.

The snippy come back was uncalled for, so YANBU for making a mistake, I'm sure you've learned from it, but some humility around the situation would have gone a long way.

Original poster
cocunut · 20/05/2023 23:57

Azandme · 20/05/2023 23:52

The dismissive attitude in your response is probably what did it, rather than the error itself.

You're probably right! I didn't mean to be dismissive but I just didn't see the need for it to be made into such a big deal. I've worked in hospitality on and off since my early teens (I'm in my early 20s now). I apologised for my mistake but I can see how I might've come across as snippy.

OP posts:
Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 00:02

I also spoke to DP about this when I got home and he said she may apologise as he thinks it's harsh over a simple mistake.
However he also said if that's how they treat their staff after making a mistake would I really want to work for them anyway??
However he works in sales and is quite indispensable to his company, so can get away with saying blasé stuff probably more than I can. I suppose it's a lesson learnt but I do feel really bad about the whole thing.

OP posts:
AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 21/05/2023 00:02

It's also possible that the managers are generally friendly, will take an eye rolling response and a bit of cheek off workers who've been there longer, and therefore they know they respect the rules. A privilege earned through long service as it were. I would never have spoken to my managers like that when new but am more "cheeky" now, and only when it's appropriate. If I seriously messed up I wouldn't give them lip back, I'd be apologising and trying to make amends.

But as a new employee they felt you needed to be aware of the correct procedures, hence two managers telling you, and then felt your reply was indictive of you not caring.

PixieLaLa · 21/05/2023 00:06

That isn’t a ‘hygiene breach’ what if that child had a severe allergy? Surely whoever is physically giving food to a child is also responsible for this. Also your attitude of “no biggie” and “I’m autistic” is so dismissive, take some responsibility you work with children ffs.

FluffyPJs · 21/05/2023 00:08

Are you working as a full time teacher as well as doing this job? Not really relevant to your op but as a teacher myself I'm amazed you have the time/ energy for a second job!!

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 00:08

PixieLaLa · 21/05/2023 00:06

That isn’t a ‘hygiene breach’ what if that child had a severe allergy? Surely whoever is physically giving food to a child is also responsible for this. Also your attitude of “no biggie” and “I’m autistic” is so dismissive, take some responsibility you work with children ffs.

To clarify this is my second job, not my main one where I work with kids. I did genuinely apologise and all tables are asked about allergies before ordering so I'm not sure that's the issue. No children present on a Saturday night in a pub...

OP posts:
Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 00:10

FluffyPJs · 21/05/2023 00:08

Are you working as a full time teacher as well as doing this job? Not really relevant to your op but as a teacher myself I'm amazed you have the time/ energy for a second job!!

Yes I do 5 days a week in a nursery 9-4 and I work Saturday mornings running a kids sport class. Probably hence the "short" attitude people are describing. My patience tends to wear thin after speaking to three year olds all day I suppose 😂

OP posts:
PixieLaLa · 21/05/2023 00:13

I misunderstood I thought you were working with children. But tbh this sentence alone sums up your attitude towards this job

Tonight I got sent home from my minimum wage hospitality job

Sounds like you think the job is beneath you so why bother?

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 00:16

PixieLaLa · 21/05/2023 00:13

I misunderstood I thought you were working with children. But tbh this sentence alone sums up your attitude towards this job

Tonight I got sent home from my minimum wage hospitality job

Sounds like you think the job is beneath you so why bother?

Hahaha. I can't afford my own rent and fuel to get to and from work, so no it's definitely not beneath me as you say. I've also been doing this sort of work for nearly ten years and I love working with people and in customer facing roles.
I included that mainly for context and also tbh, if they expect employees to be foot perfect 24/7, maybe they should pay us more than £8 per hour. Anyway. Not sure my personal views are relevant to the post in general, I just needed the money that's all.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 21/05/2023 00:17

Unfortunately the reason for you being short/impatient in your response probably isn't relevant in a hospitality setting.

If you've worked in hospitality for a while wouldn't you know that you cant leave meals unattended on one table and then move them to another?
Also just because you don't agree with a policy doesn't mitigate you breaching it.

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 00:19

Whataretheodds · 21/05/2023 00:17

Unfortunately the reason for you being short/impatient in your response probably isn't relevant in a hospitality setting.

If you've worked in hospitality for a while wouldn't you know that you cant leave meals unattended on one table and then move them to another?
Also just because you don't agree with a policy doesn't mitigate you breaching it.

I've been out of the industry for a few years and I think I just had a bit of a panic when I realised my mistake and didn't think to ask about protocol, just went into autopilot. But you're probably right, there is no excuse, and I probably could have handled it better than I did.

OP posts:
AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 21/05/2023 01:56

£8 an hour isn't even legal...

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 07:40

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 21/05/2023 01:56

£8 an hour isn't even legal...

Not entirely sure what I'm on, I think it's about £9 tbf but I am very young plus we get tips/service charge on top of our wages which I think makes up for the gap there. It's a fairly large franchise so I imagine everything's done by the book.

OP posts:
drpet49 · 21/05/2023 07:43

PixieLaLa · 21/05/2023 00:06

That isn’t a ‘hygiene breach’ what if that child had a severe allergy? Surely whoever is physically giving food to a child is also responsible for this. Also your attitude of “no biggie” and “I’m autistic” is so dismissive, take some responsibility you work with children ffs.

This!

LakeTiticaca · 21/05/2023 08:13

You made a mistake. You corrected it. Nobody died.
The manager sounds like a dick head.
Find another part time job. Usually plenty knocking about , especially in hospitality

Lovingitallnow · 21/05/2023 08:24

I think there might be more to this- how did you put the wrong food down? I'm thinking most restaurants I'm at will say the name of the dish before putting it down. Even if we have the same thing. You also say you realised your mistake- not the customer? As someone else said, asking allergies at the start is a waste of time if you might accidentally hand an allergen laden dish to the wrong customer. So it's a fairly big deal and your reaction was way off. You think it's a no biggie. The manager explains it's a biggie. You still think it's a no biggie.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 21/05/2023 08:35

I wondered if you were autistic. Logical problem solving. People misinterpreting your words as attitude is quite common. Failing to explain what the problem is and expecting you to magically know without anyone having told you. Have they trained you at all?

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 08:51

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 21/05/2023 08:35

I wondered if you were autistic. Logical problem solving. People misinterpreting your words as attitude is quite common. Failing to explain what the problem is and expecting you to magically know without anyone having told you. Have they trained you at all?

That's actually quite nice to read tbh, I find my logic and matter of factness is useful most of the time but in situations like this it has really held me back. I did some online training but most of it was fairly obvious stuff I knew anyway (coloured chopping boards etc). I'm not new to the industry but I still genuinely cannot see why what I did was such an issue!!

OP posts:
Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 08:51

LakeTiticaca · 21/05/2023 08:13

You made a mistake. You corrected it. Nobody died.
The manager sounds like a dick head.
Find another part time job. Usually plenty knocking about , especially in hospitality

Thank you!

OP posts: