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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my (ex)manager was too harsh?

233 replies

cocunut · 20/05/2023 23:44

Sorry for the long post, don't want to drip feed. Tonight I got sent home from my minimum wage hospitality job. I recently started working evenings and weekends to get some extra money (no kids of my own but I'm an early years teacher for context as to why I'm on here).

I've not worked in hospitality for a few years but started this job a few weeks ago and have really enjoyed it so far. All my colleagues are lovely, studenty types, and I thought the managers were lovely too until tonight.

I basically f**ked up big time with a hygiene breach. My colleague messed up an order for a table and the kitchen were getting food out as quickly as they could. I wasn't sure exactly what each table had ordered as they weren't in my section but long story short I took the wrong food to the wrong table. No biggie, I thought, and the customers hadn't touched the food as it had been down for about 10 seconds, when I realised it was the wrong order. I quickly picked the food back up and ran it to the next table over. Thought nothing of it.

My manager basically pulled me aside and told me what I'd done was unacceptable and I should've taken the food back to the kitchen and got them to remake the dishes (again, as my colleague had messed them up already). Another manager came and said the same thing, at this point I'm feeling quite ganged up on and said "Okay, I'm really sorry. I've apologised to everyone, Bollocking accepted, can I just get back to my tables now."

At this point I'm told to "just clock out". I'm honestly gutted as I'm still on probation and it was a genuine error of judgement with the food. I was just stood there trying not to burst into tears as I clocked out. I said "see you next week" to which I got no response and I'm about 90% certain they won't have me back.

Did I seriously fuck up that badly, or was my manager just being harsh?

OP posts:
Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 09:28

PegasusReturns · 21/05/2023 09:26

you’ve been sent home because of your response, not the underlying issue and what happened to you sums up roles in service industry v everywhere else perfectly.

You made a mistake, you apologised and then another person joined in the reprimand. In any professional scenario your response “bollocking accepted let’s move on” whilst not ideal would be accepted.

But you’re working in an industry where you’re considered disposable and managers are on power trips.

chalk it up to experience.

This! I think I've been out of the industry for a while and forgot what utter c*nts hospitality managers can be sometimes.

OP posts:
HotPenguin · 21/05/2023 09:29

Your mistake was saying "bollocking accepted". That was rude and sarcastic. You should have just summarised what they said to show understanding eg "ok I realise now I shouldn't have done that as they could have been contaminated, next time I will return the dish to the kitchen and ask for a new one".

When you have a job you need to follow all kinds of rules that you may or may not agree with.

Shinyandnew1 · 21/05/2023 09:30

I’d give them a ring today, I think to get things sorted out.

I’m probably missing the point here but you say… but I am very young… How old are you? Are they paying you the right wage in this job? Are you a qualified teacher?

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 09:33

Shinyandnew1 · 21/05/2023 09:30

I’d give them a ring today, I think to get things sorted out.

I’m probably missing the point here but you say… but I am very young… How old are you? Are they paying you the right wage in this job? Are you a qualified teacher?

I don't want to give my exact age but I am between 20 and 25. Probably shouldn't have said teacher as I have no QTS, I work in Early Years (at a nursery) but I do have a degree and am looking to do a PGCE once I can afford to be out of full time work for another year.

OP posts:
TammyJones · 21/05/2023 09:38

This! I think I've been out of the industry for a while and forgot what utter c*nts hospitality managers can be sometimes.
^^^^^
You see that's just not helping....
^^^
@HotPenguin

Your mistake was saying "bollocking accepted". That was rude and sarcastic. You should have just summarised what they said to show understanding eg "ok I realise now I shouldn't have done that as they could have been contaminated, next time I will return the dish to the kitchen and ask for a new one".

^^^
Totally agreed

MyNewWittyUserName · 21/05/2023 09:47

cocunut · 21/05/2023 09:01

There's not an awful lot more to it. I've tried to be transparent with the post.
Here's how the dialogue went:
"I've got some new potatoes here?"
large party of about 6 are chatting and ignore me entirely as I'm putting the food down
"Okay, I'll just pop these in the middle cos I'm not sure whose they are."
party agree and start to discuss who ordered potatoes
I go and check the ticket and then realise the potatoes aren't theirs; they're for another table whose order my colleague got wrong beforehand. So this table have already had to have their food remade. I thought the best course of action was simply to move the potatoes to their rightful owners so they could have their meal quickly.
"Have any of you guys started on the potatoes? It's okay if you have but if you haven't is it alright if I move them to the table that ordered them?"
party laugh and say yes of course no worries
I move the potatoes, then that's when the bollocking off the managers commences. But that's the entire prelude to that if it helps for transparency.

Show quote history

Yabu.

In your op it sounded like you placed the food on the table and immediately picked it up, in which case I'd have said ywnbu.

But, this post above says you walked away and checked the ticket then went back to the table and took their word for it that they hadn't added saliva, cyanide or rohypnol to the potatoes.

So, yabu because you didn't have eyes on the potatoes the entire time.

Beeinalily · 21/05/2023 09:50

We're getting a clear insight into why there are so many hospitality jobs vacant out there, and why they can't retain staff. However OP, unless I read your initial post wrongly they haven't actually said that they don't want you back, is that right?

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 09:53

Beeinalily · 21/05/2023 09:50

We're getting a clear insight into why there are so many hospitality jobs vacant out there, and why they can't retain staff. However OP, unless I read your initial post wrongly they haven't actually said that they don't want you back, is that right?

Yes you're right, no actual confirmation. However being on probation plus being told to clock off an hour into a busy shift probably leaves me around 90% certain they won't have me back...

OP posts:
Boomboom22 · 21/05/2023 09:53

They didn't think they were giving you a bollocking just explain your error. To them you didn't accept this was an error and swore at them. Also you were rude when you said OK I'll just put these here when none of the group said yes those are mine.

Agapornis · 21/05/2023 09:54

Wouldn't you be more suited, and better paid, in a babysitting job?

I hate retail and hospitality, so many ridiculous power tripping managers who expect you to know about 'rules' they never inform staff of. I was once told I shouldn't have evacuated people through a fire exit because it went through the stock room. They never did any fire alarm training. Apparently I should have used the fire exit on another floor...

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 09:57

Boomboom22 · 21/05/2023 09:53

They didn't think they were giving you a bollocking just explain your error. To them you didn't accept this was an error and swore at them. Also you were rude when you said OK I'll just put these here when none of the group said yes those are mine.

No THEY were rude ignoring me while carrying a hot bowl!!

OP posts:
Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 09:58

Agapornis · 21/05/2023 09:54

Wouldn't you be more suited, and better paid, in a babysitting job?

I hate retail and hospitality, so many ridiculous power tripping managers who expect you to know about 'rules' they never inform staff of. I was once told I shouldn't have evacuated people through a fire exit because it went through the stock room. They never did any fire alarm training. Apparently I should have used the fire exit on another floor...

The reason I went for hospitality again was more due to the social aspect like meeting people my own age, adult conversation, staying for a drink after work etc. But you're right, and I didn't actually think about babysitting so thank you for the suggestion!!

OP posts:
Leapintothelightning · 21/05/2023 09:59

Lovingitallnow · 21/05/2023 08:24

I think there might be more to this- how did you put the wrong food down? I'm thinking most restaurants I'm at will say the name of the dish before putting it down. Even if we have the same thing. You also say you realised your mistake- not the customer? As someone else said, asking allergies at the start is a waste of time if you might accidentally hand an allergen laden dish to the wrong customer. So it's a fairly big deal and your reaction was way off. You think it's a no biggie. The manager explains it's a biggie. You still think it's a no biggie.

The hygiene breach wasn't to do with allergies though. The breach wasn't that the first table got given someone else's food - the breach was the fact that the second table was given the food from the first table instead of it being remade fresh.

Boomboom22 · 21/05/2023 10:01

cocunut · 21/05/2023 09:57

No THEY were rude ignoring me while carrying a hot bowl!!

Show quote history

Or maybe they weren't ignoring you, usually when the server says the meal whoever ordered it sats yes. Everybody else doesn't say no.
But that wasn't the breach you were in trouble for, just indicated to the manager your attitude problem.

MichelleScarn · 21/05/2023 10:02

cocunut · 21/05/2023 09:33

I don't want to give my exact age but I am between 20 and 25. Probably shouldn't have said teacher as I have no QTS, I work in Early Years (at a nursery) but I do have a degree and am looking to do a PGCE once I can afford to be out of full time work for another year.

Show quote history

Between 20 and 25 is not 'very young' although I do keep seeing it portrayed on here as that, usually by people in that age group.
Would you use that as an excuse in your EY setting if something went wrong?

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 10:04

@MichelleScarn in my EY setting I wouldn't be expected to just "know" things. I've received training and there never seem to be mountains being made out of molehills by management. The lovely thing about EY is you get greeted with hugs and funny chats from the little ones, not "you've messed up such and such" the minute you walk in the door...

OP posts:
Agapornis · 21/05/2023 10:06

Re people your own age, I've found visitor attractions (esp. big city museums) are full of young people who like a party!

notsayingmuch · 21/05/2023 10:06

Are you working in a school nursery? You could probably train as a teacher on the job. There are schemes around at the moment, if you ask your Head. It would be nice to do the training at your own school.

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 10:07

Agapornis · 21/05/2023 10:06

Re people your own age, I've found visitor attractions (esp. big city museums) are full of young people who like a party!

Ooh that's a good idea! Thank you!

OP posts:
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 21/05/2023 10:09

It's definitely the attitude you have. Who says 'bollocking accepted'?! You're in a place of work. You made a mistake, they pulled you up on it. That's fair.

DojaPhat · 21/05/2023 10:10

Hmmm, I'm not going to say too much about this industry and the changes which have made it nigh on impossible to work in but I'd say get out of it if you can and stay out of it. If it's similar to what I think it is based on my brief dalliance in a similar setting then my days were numbered from day one.

strawberryFforever · 21/05/2023 10:12

No biggie. Jyst move on

You live and learn: stop over thinking it and take the feedback on board

Original poster
cocunut · 21/05/2023 10:13

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 21/05/2023 10:09

It's definitely the attitude you have. Who says 'bollocking accepted'?! You're in a place of work. You made a mistake, they pulled you up on it. That's fair.

The second manager was the issue. I already got the point. I didn't need to be told again like I was some kind of idiot...

OP posts:
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 21/05/2023 10:16

The second manager was the issue. I already got the point. I didn't need to be told again like I was some kind of idiot...

Then you speak like an adult and say that the first manger was just speaking to you about it and you have apologised.

HellonHeels · 21/05/2023 10:18

No wonder hospitality can't recruit and retain staff.