To think my (ex)manager was too harsh?

[cocunut]

Sorry for the long post, don't want to drip feed. Tonight I got sent home from my minimum wage hospitality job. I recently started working evenings and weekends to get some extra money (no kids of my own but I'm an early years teacher for context as to why I'm on here).

I've not worked in hospitality for a few years but started this job a few weeks ago and have really enjoyed it so far. All my colleagues are lovely, studenty types, and I thought the managers were lovely too until tonight.

I basically f**ked up big time with a hygiene breach. My colleague messed up an order for a table and the kitchen were getting food out as quickly as they could. I wasn't sure exactly what each table had ordered as they weren't in my section but long story short I took the wrong food to the wrong table. No biggie, I thought, and the customers hadn't touched the food as it had been down for about 10 seconds, when I realised it was the wrong order. I quickly picked the food back up and ran it to the next table over. Thought nothing of it.

My manager basically pulled me aside and told me what I'd done was unacceptable and I should've taken the food back to the kitchen and got them to remake the dishes (again, as my colleague had messed them up already). Another manager came and said the same thing, at this point I'm feeling quite ganged up on and said "Okay, I'm really sorry. I've apologised to everyone, Bollocking accepted, can I just get back to my tables now."

At this point I'm told to "just clock out". I'm honestly gutted as I'm still on probation and it was a genuine error of judgement with the food. I was just stood there trying not to burst into tears as I clocked out. I said "see you next week" to which I got no response and I'm about 90% certain they won't have me back.

Did I seriously fuck up that badly, or was my manager just being harsh?

I did!! I literally said those exact words before I started to get annoyed

“I am quite lax generally with that kind of stuff”

That’s the problem. The fact that you don’t think it’s serious doesn’t change the fact that matters pertaining to health and safety in a restaurant are indeed very serious. It may not have been an issue this time, but what about next time? That’s what the managers have to consider as well.

When they pointed it out to you, you essentially dismissed them. You didn’t speak to them in an appropriate way, and it likely came across that you believe your own judgement to be superior to theirs, that you don’t think it’s a big deal so they shouldn’t either. If that’s how you speak to them, how are you doing to speak to difficult customers? In their eyes now, you’re a newbie with an attitude problem that could damage the restaurants reputation, and even put customers and the business at risk if someone with an allergy gets the wrong dish. “I didn’t think it was a big deal” won’t cut it if someone goes into anaphylactic shock, especially when you’ve had training stressing that it is indeed a big deal.

The second's manager's exact words once I told her I'd already been spoken to and apologised were:
"I am your manager and you listen to me, not (shift supervisor)."
This was what got my back up. This woman is roughly the same age as me. Who tf told her she can speak to people like that? My DP has a phrase along the lines of "if you have to tell people you're in charge of them then that probably reinforces that you're not."
Think it's quite apt there!!

She’s the manager. Your DP is incorrect, she’s in charge whether she reinforces it or not.

I do wonder what your attitude was towards her, and if it came across as ‘I heard, fuck off already’ like it’s doing here. If you don’t like how she speak to you then you don’t have to remain at the job. If you wish to remain at the job, then you suck it up.

I think your response could’ve been interpreted negatively and is probably what made them send you home rather than the actual error.

No THEY were rude ignoring me while carrying a hot bowl!!

Who tf told her she can speak to people like that? My DP has a phrase along the lines of "if you have to tell people you're in charge of them then that probably reinforces that you're not."

OP people clearly don't realise that you are right and your supervisor, manager and all the customers are wrong.

Your attitude to the whole situation stinks op.

Makes me think this is the last in a line of things they've let slide.

Sorry but your response showed you didn't understand how serious your error could have been. In an industry where people can die if given the wrong order you need to have taken it much more seriously. If that had been an inspection night the business would have been in so much trouble.

@slashlover
I've accepted that I was wrong with the food now and what I said was probably misinterpreted (completely blown out of proportion imho). However I agree with some pp that this is the only industry in the world that can get away with speaking to their staff like shit over a mistake and the staff being expected just to suck it up. Maybe I am too headstrong but I can't see anybody else reacting any other way after being lectured at by two separate supervisors for about ten minutes in lieu of actually being able to do the job they're there to get paid to do...

I'm not sure nursery work is for you either then!

It's certainly not. It was my fifth shift! And I'd previously been praised for how well I just got "stuck into" the job. Me being stuck in and a natural problem solver obviously suits them until I make a mistake...

Yes you can't trust that they haven't sneezed on the potatoes

This was what got my back up. This woman is roughly the same age as me. Who tf told her she can speak to people like that?

Well if she's the same age as you, why aren't you giving her leeway for being very young?

Really? I mean hopefully you wash your hands and don't pick your nose. You have no idea what other customers do.

My manager basically pulled me aside and told me what I'd done was unacceptable ... Another manager came and said the same thing, at this point I'm feeling quite ganged up on
The problem as I see it is management who take it upon themselves, one at a time, to tell you off repeatedly for the same thing when you're all busy. When you point out that it's busy and you've already received the reprimand, they get huffy. You'd be better off looking for a job where management is better organised. Save yourself the grovelling, make the most of the lesson in hygiene and look elsewhere. That's the beauty of poorly-paid work; there's plenty of it.

The thing is, no matter how much of a hard worker you are, hygiene breaches in hospitality are a major issue - restaurants can get fined or even shut down depending on the severity/frequency of the complaints.

I've worked with food and they do come down on you like a ton of bricks for things like this. The consequences if it goes wrong and someone gets sick (or worse) means they're reluctant to take any risks, however minor they might seem to us.

Try not to apply the logic you'd use at home to a professional kitchen.

Her age has nothing to do with it

Thank you for understanding that this is the main issue I have with the situation! 😁

@marshmallowmatcha it kind of does. This woman is maximum 26 years old. How much experience can she actually have in management? Most of my managers in the past have been 30+.
Had I chosen to stay in hospitality full time, I could also be doing her job (and not speaking to my staff like shit!!) I'm not a 15 year old kid who would be looking up to this woman as an example, I should be treated with respect, not as an equal as such; but maybe as someone who does actually have quite a bit of experience and has made a genuine mistake.
If she had years and years of experience ahead of me, I would probably have taken her "telling off" a bit more respectfully, but for me it did come across as a power trip, especially as I'd already had the discussion with another senior staff member.

God no wonder so many hospitality places can’t retain staff.

when I was a student a supervisor in a restaurant actually grabbed my arm and physically led me to a table that she wanted clearing. That was my last shift, despite them ringing asking why I didn’t want to go back

She has more management experience than you though.
You didn't stay in hospitality full time, you left for several years and she is older than you. If you are very young then left hospitality for a while then how much is "quite a bit of experience"?

@slashlover I worked part time in a cafe at 16-18. 18-20 full time restaurant/pubs. Between then and now, cash in hand temp work in bars and restaurants. So about 5 years of experience which in this sector is considered a lot.

Ah it's a pain isn't it, breaking unstated rules and being punished for it, I'd bet you have some rejection sensitivity disorder going on too in your response.

As a fellow autistic woman I am in awe of you having the energy to manage all these jobs.

Hospitality round here is crying out for help, are there lots of other jobs near you?

And this is the attitude that I bet came over loud and clear to her.

You are not, in professional terms, her equal. She has proved her worth at the job and has reached the position she has, whereas you have not.

I don’t think she’s the problem here.

This woman is maximum 26 years old. How much experience can she actually have in management?

Well, she has more than you. Lots of people in their early twenties are in management and are better management than people in their fifties.

Had I chosen to stay in hospitality full time, I could also be doing her job (and not speaking to my staff like shit!!) I'm not a 15 year old kid who would be looking up to this woman as an example, I should be treated with respect, not as an equal as such; but maybe as someone who does actually have quite a bit of experience and has made a genuine mistake.

But you did leave for several years. Nobody's saying your mistake wasn't genuine either.

If she had years and years of experience ahead of me, I would probably have taken her "telling off" a bit more respectfully, but for me it did come across as a power trip, especially as I'd already had the discussion with another senior staff member.

But she does have years of experience ahead of you, because you left hospitality for years, whereas she stayed and worked her way up to management level. Her age is irrelevant.