To think my (ex)manager was too harsh?

[cocunut]

Sorry for the long post, don't want to drip feed. Tonight I got sent home from my minimum wage hospitality job. I recently started working evenings and weekends to get some extra money (no kids of my own but I'm an early years teacher for context as to why I'm on here).

I've not worked in hospitality for a few years but started this job a few weeks ago and have really enjoyed it so far. All my colleagues are lovely, studenty types, and I thought the managers were lovely too until tonight.

I basically f**ked up big time with a hygiene breach. My colleague messed up an order for a table and the kitchen were getting food out as quickly as they could. I wasn't sure exactly what each table had ordered as they weren't in my section but long story short I took the wrong food to the wrong table. No biggie, I thought, and the customers hadn't touched the food as it had been down for about 10 seconds, when I realised it was the wrong order. I quickly picked the food back up and ran it to the next table over. Thought nothing of it.

My manager basically pulled me aside and told me what I'd done was unacceptable and I should've taken the food back to the kitchen and got them to remake the dishes (again, as my colleague had messed them up already). Another manager came and said the same thing, at this point I'm feeling quite ganged up on and said "Okay, I'm really sorry. I've apologised to everyone, Bollocking accepted, can I just get back to my tables now."

At this point I'm told to "just clock out". I'm honestly gutted as I'm still on probation and it was a genuine error of judgement with the food. I was just stood there trying not to burst into tears as I clocked out. I said "see you next week" to which I got no response and I'm about 90% certain they won't have me back.

Did I seriously fuck up that badly, or was my manager just being harsh?

So about 5 years when you previously stated I've also been doing this sort of work for nearly ten years?

That's why I wondered you said since your early teens, then said 10 years experience then that you were early 20s then that you'd been out of the industry for a few years. The timeline confused me.

But regardless of your experience, she's still the manager and all your posts are showing that you have practically no respect for her due to her age.

And she'll be able to tell that as well.

How would you feel if someone younger than you started at the nursery and then said after 5 shifts that they didn't respect you because of your age?

I have some respect for her as a manager obviously but I think any respect I did have is probably gone after last night's incident.

I never said that to her did I 🙄

I'm also by no means any form of manager and have never claimed to be.

THEY are the customer

I don't think hospitality is for you, really..

And so is your job by the sounds of it.

Your attitude is shit tbh, and they clocked onto that quickly. They’re obviously not so desperate for staff that they’re prepared to tolerate it.

You're funny. You made a sarcastic comment and swore at your manager over a mistake that YOU made, while still on probation. And you're shocked you were sent home? Like other PPs have said, I don't think hospitality is for you. Or any job really.

And I'm younger than you too, so you can't use your age as an excuse. Never would I act like that in my workplace. Beyond unprofessional.

You still aren't accepting you did wrong. You are minimising and making out they made a mountain out of a molehill.

You don't need to say it, it's obvious from every single comment you've made on here.

You don't need to say it, it's crystal clear in your posts and how you responded to her.

When you've only worked five shifts and you make a mistake, you don't deal with it by saying "Okay, I'm really sorry. I've apologised to everyone, Bollocking accepted, can I just get back to my tables now." - and you especially don't say that to your manager, no matter how old they are.

I actually think the mistake here was that your shift supervisor bollocked you instead of speaking to your manager first.

So the customers are rude, the manager is a cunt and you don't respect her because she's only 26 so in your opinion doesn't have enough experience to be worthy of respect

If your answers to the two managers were as flippant/abrasive as some of your answers on here then no I very much doubt they will be having you back on your next shift.

And age is irrelevant to management ability tbh. I've met terrible managers in their 50s and fantastic managers in their 20s and the other way round.

I get the feeling that the manager said what they said to you because what you were saying came across less as explaining/apologising and more as the minimising/arguing you are doing on here.

Plus is pretty much common sense not to leave a plate of food lying around on one table if you have to check which table it's for, and not to then put it on another table. It might not have been explicitly explained to you but I can see that they would be concerned that if you didn't apply common sense in this situation and were flippant about the outcome then you might not apply common sense in the next senario which might have a worse outcome.

I think you're overthinking it tbh. Wait and see if they have you back. If they do then it was just a slip up and you can move past it.

If they don't have you back then they're being dramatic.

I don't think I'm being flippant nor abrasive!
I literally apologised for the mistake, my main issue is that I don't consider it reasonable that they both decided to have a pop at me after I'd already accepted I was wrong and just wanted to move on and do my job. But I suppose I am in the minority with that, as PP have told me I shouldn't even have a job in the first place...
I'm struggling to think what they actually expected me to do in the situation when I had already apologised. I could've stormed out or had a go back at the managers but I didn't, I stood and took the telling and apologised. So I'm not sure what was expected of me anyway tbh. I refuse to grovel to someone who's basically shouted at me for a mistake.

You think the customers were rude? Just because you were carrying a hot bowl? If I am out in a group and we are asked “whose potatoes are these” I would only answer if I could say “yes they are mine”, otherwise I would be quiet and assume somebody else will claim them.

Calling the customers rude in this scenario is the decider for me, your attitude is poor. It is everybody else’s fault, rude customers, horrible managers, you have repeatedly tried to bring in the colleague getting an order wrong earlier into this story for some reason, I can only assume to suggest it is their fault too.

I have been in a restaurant where a server has approached me with somebody else’s food, realised or been told it is not ours and they have taken it to the proper customer, but never leaving their hands. But never have I had a meal sit in front of me for thirty seconds and then the server return and take it to another table. I could have touched it, poked it, sneezed on it, just spoken over it. Most people would not be happy to be handed food that has been sat on another table and it was right that this was pointed out to you in robust terms. But it is your response that would have had me tell you to get out and never return.

Now you're being dramatic and teddy in corner, no ones said you shouldn't even have a job in the first place... or that you need to 'grovel'. 🤨
With the time line and all the experience you say you have you must be at upper age of.your very young 20-25 so the level of stroppy is ridiculous.

I'm struggling to think what they actually expected me to do in the situation when I had already apologised. I could've stormed out or had a go back at the managers but I didn't, I stood and took the telling and apologised.

But then you said "I've apologised to everyone, Bollocking accepted, can I just get back to my tables now."

That's the part that comes across as flippant and abrasive, particularly as you were talking to your manager when you said it. I know you'd been spoken to by your supervisor already, but to the manager, that's irrelevant - she's in charge of both of you and if she felt it was appropriate to speak to you a second time, you should have stayed quiet, been respectful and listened to her - even if you secretly disagreed and felt she was being OTT.

If you'd been there for years, your response may have been taken better, but you've only worked five shifts - you need to be on your best behaviour as you basically have no employment rights and unless they're being discriminatory, they don't need a reason to get rid of you.

You can't start a new job, speak to a manager like that and expect them to be happy - it shows a huge lack of respect and care. What you think about the how OTT everything is is largely irrelevant tbh.

I don't think I'm being flippant nor abrasive!

The majority of people on here think you are, does that not give you pause for thought?

I wonder if your body language/attitude didn't match the words coming out of your mouth during the apology.

Lots of harsh replies here, OP. Hospitality managers are well known to be power-tripping dicks.

You took the feedback from manager one and apologised. Manager two comes over and repeats it all, banging on about it. Meanwhile nobody died, the potato situation is simply not that serious. But of course in the manager's petty kingdom it's the end of the world if their underlings don't grovel to their satisfaction.

What reaction would have satisfied the managers? Were you supposed to cry or something?

Hahah you've basically summed up everything I'm thinking and trying to get across in one post!
This is my point entirely! Was I meant to burst into tears and give them the satisfaction of thinking they had that emotional power over me? Cos hell no that's not happening 😂 thanks for understanding!!

No, she was supposed to listen and not answer back.

It doesn't matter whether she thought the manager was being OTT - she's only worked five shifts - you don't answer your manager back, say "bollocking accepted, can I go now?" and expect to get away with it.

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts "listen and not answer back" is akin to something you might say to a misbehaving toddler, not an adult member of staff trying to do their job efficiently and effectively.

The food was left on the table, presumably around drinks and possibly other food, before being moved. Something could have contaminated the dish which the actual table wad then allergic to