To think this is an awful way to treat teenagers - sports teams

[pinotnow]

I have just had 16 year old ds in tears as he has spent the day, pretty much the whole day, with his cricket team and didn't bowl or bat the whole entire time. Apparently he fielded in a crap position too (can't remember the term he used because cricket is full of fucking stupid terms no one understands) and feels like he may as well not have been there. He's never been much of a crier and it has been heart-breaking to see him so upset and now I'm really fucking angry.

I completely understand that if others are better than him they're going to get more overs or whatever. I'm not suggesting he should have a turn at opening the batting. But would it really be such a fucking disaster for this fourth team if someone not quite as good as someone else who's probably not all that bowled a couple of overs?? Really? Would the earth stop turning if that happened? He says he played well last week and took a wicket so why nothing this week?

AIBU to think this is really shitty, especially with 16 year olds? DS has had exams all week and looked forward to this as a break and now it has left him feeling shit. Thank fuck his exams went well others god knows what state he would be in. If anyone/anyone's dh captains a team of this sort and can explain to me why this is any way ok I'd love to hear it. At least this match was only a 20 minute drive away. We've had it in the past where we've driven well over an hour for similar to happen. I wish ex had never got him in to cricket (just to take little to no interest in how he does for most of the time).

It is unfair that they brought him along if he wasn't going to play. My husband manages a football team and will often pick his best team for important games but will always ensure that everyone that is picked to play will get at least 20mins on the pitch. If he was not going to be able to get a player on he would not pick them.

IMO and I think many people's experience, I actually don't think many 'creative' people do take part in sports. You get this split quite young simply because it is wholly competitive. You need to commit to music and Art/drama, you can't do that if you are expected to be an exemplary cricket player, rugby player, athlete, swimmer. This country doesn't view sport participation in that way, you can't be a casual member of a team when you are a teenager at least. By the time you are an adult it is probably too late, the fear has set in.

I agree the girls county cricket team that my daughter is on has girls from all different backgrounds and they are all very supportive of each other.

It's a team sport, being supportive of your team is part of it.

It is unfair that they brought him along if he wasn't going to play.

He did play! He was fielding. Good or bad fielding can win or lose a match just as much as batting and bowling can.

Yes, but he has been selected just to waste the entire day. Why not say to him 'I'm sorry, you're not selected,' if he's not good enough? Instead they drag him along what, to make up the numbers?

In the middle of his GCSEs, he probably could have done with that extra day too.

Good for him - I wish this was universal from coaches.

Op I can kind of see both sides.

Some posters perhaps are not familiar with cricket- those talking about subs. .
Op's done was in the team and fielded, was presumably down the batting order so didn't bat, but is frustrated that he also wasn't picked to bowl.

Op it's possible that this was a key game the team needed to win - and put on their netter bowlers for? How many players did get a bat? Ds2 frequently didn't bat in magches tbh. He was a good fielder tho.

I would be tempted to mention his disappointment to the coach (he should I mean, not you) and ask if he can at Keady bowl an over next time.

Fwiw ds's footy team had a big squad of over 20 at this age and it wasn't unusual for the weaker ones to turn up fir the match (admittedly only 2-3 hours) and not play at all.

If you understand village cricket, you understand this happens.

If you understand why village cricket is on it’s arse, you understand why this happens too.

If you understand why teenagers would rather hangout with friends or online, whilst their health declines, you understand too.

If you understand toxic masculinity dressed up as competition for young teens year olds, you aren’t far off the mark either.

I’m sorry this happened to your DS, it’s OK to feel upset and I hope he finds a sport or a team where everyone gets some time in the middle/gets a bowl.

YABU. For 16 yo's the coach will be deciding the strategy they think will win. And that's going to mean sometimes putting a player in a role/position that isn't their favourite, or even not having them play at all.

I'm not saying your son shouldn't be upset about it - nobody can tell him how to feel or not feel. But upset and disappointment is a part of sport just as much as happiness and achievement is.

(And yeah, he's picked cricket - out of all the popular sports in Britain that probably gives players the most amount of hanging around watching, while still needing to be ready to take a catch or have your turn batting.)

Sorry for silly autocorrect on my phone! Hope post sort of makes sense.

it’s fourth team cricket. Who cares if they win. Give the kids a couple of overs. It’s more important they keep kids in the game rather than win every match.

Interesting perspective, at least 2 of the under 15 county girls side my daughter is on are creative as well as sporty. The only limitation on it really is time.

Over winter nets their were girls who had weeks off for play or orchestra rehearsals as well as for other sports.

I think you have an issue with competitive sport and the kind of people you think takes part in them.

I don't know much about cricket, but imo sport should be about having fun and keeping fit. Sitting on the bench all day is achieving neither. So I wouldn't bother being part of a club like this.

Cricket is like this. I sympathise with you DS.

You don't have to be exemplary for many clubs though, and this stereotype or misunderstanding is a shame and possibly a reason some at least decide not to give it a go for themselves. I play with plenty of people who work in the arts and the creative sector and have played since they were teens on a variety of teams.

What?

I'm suggesting the cricket team has an overinflated view of its physical prowess if they have a 13 year old girl on their team competing alongside them. I mean if you were such a great athlete this wouldn't be possible? What other sport would this be possible in? Also, everyone has seen village cricket you have men who are pretty old partaking. My point is why does cricket take itself so seriously, it is ashame that it is so competitive and not about the enjoyment as you find in Nordic countries. That's why we have teenagers with nothing to do and moans about that as well. How would a typical teenager, especially not one from a middle class background begin to engage with a sport that is so exclusive? It is absurd that a village cricket team takes this approach.

Are you being disingenuous, so you really not understand Copenhagencalling's very apt points?

I don't get why it's worded weirdly instead of just being written to make sense.

Fellow mum of a 16 year old in the middle of GSCEs here...it will be partly an outlet for the stress and exhaustion of the week. I prescribe ice cream, popcorn, movie and time to relax and unwind. They all regress a bit under pressure 💐 Revisit the cricket issue another time when things are calmer, talk it through then and see how he feels. He'll probably be much calmer about it all and get on with it.

It made perfect sense to me.

An issue with competitive sports, very perceptive of you there because yes, I do when it is kids being excluded from a poxy village team!

I know loads of people in music industry and creative arts through family and they really don't partake in sports at a competitive level as a teenager or adult.

Your poor boy give him a big hug.

Why are you saying 'village team'? Not everyone in England lives in a village, Cricket happens in non rural working class areas too, you know.

A good 13 year old girl bowler/ batter can give men a run for their money, especially if they can move/ swing the ball in the way you don't typically see in mens' cricket. My daughter is brought in like a spin bowler, she moves the ball and gets unexpected wickets.

The men on these teams are not playing for England but they have the right to competitive sport just the same as anyone else. The juniors working through do so on the understanding they work their way up through the club. At least that's the case in any cricket team I've come across ( I also have a DH and DS also 16 who play cricket).

Your post was sexist you are talking about physical prowess v a 13 year old girl in a way you wouldn't if it was a 13 year old male county player.

I completely get how annoying it is that kids sports is so competitive and concerned with focusing on finding elite athletes rather than promoting healthy activity. However, I think his tears probably aren't about the cricket which he loves, it's about being tired from exams and so getting annoyed about something that otherwise wouldn't have bothered him. Have a lazy day on Sunday with him and tell him he's awesome and see how he feels next week.