To think this is an awful way to treat teenagers - sports teams

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I have just had 16 year old ds in tears as he has spent the day, pretty much the whole day, with his cricket team and didn't bowl or bat the whole entire time. Apparently he fielded in a crap position too (can't remember the term he used because cricket is full of fucking stupid terms no one understands) and feels like he may as well not have been there. He's never been much of a crier and it has been heart-breaking to see him so upset and now I'm really fucking angry.

I completely understand that if others are better than him they're going to get more overs or whatever. I'm not suggesting he should have a turn at opening the batting. But would it really be such a fucking disaster for this fourth team if someone not quite as good as someone else who's probably not all that bowled a couple of overs?? Really? Would the earth stop turning if that happened? He says he played well last week and took a wicket so why nothing this week?

AIBU to think this is really shitty, especially with 16 year olds? DS has had exams all week and looked forward to this as a break and now it has left him feeling shit. Thank fuck his exams went well others god knows what state he would be in. If anyone/anyone's dh captains a team of this sort and can explain to me why this is any way ok I'd love to hear it. At least this match was only a 20 minute drive away. We've had it in the past where we've driven well over an hour for similar to happen. I wish ex had never got him in to cricket (just to take little to no interest in how he does for most of the time).

Honestly cricket is the worst sport for this. My then 12 year old once went on a 200 mile round trip to neither bat nor bowl...It's pretty brutal.

I feel for him. My DD played cricket and I was all for it when it was pairs cricket when they were little. Once it turned to 'when you're out, you're out' cricket it was ridiculous. Anyone saying they know how football teams work and it's the same - well, it really isn't. When you're on the bench in football, it's frustrating, but it only lasts 90 mins, and if you get some game time, you have the same chance as anyone on the pitch to make an impact. In cricket, the stars of the team get ALL the opportunities to practise in game situations and improve. And the also-rans stand in a field for hours and hours and hours doing almost nothing.
All this is made even worse in girls' cricket by the huge distances to travel to games because there are so few teams.
Gosh, I can feel my blood starting to boil again about 8 years after DD gave up cricket. I have 3 DCs who've been involved in a variety of sports, and cricket is by FAR the least beneficial to DCs' wellbeing, in my opinion (unless you're a top talent, of course, in which case I'm sure it's great).

4th teams do not play competitive cricket that warrent exclusion of a team member from meaningful participation in order to win the match. Our league when we were in Yorkshire you had to retire batting after 25 runs which got through the batting order and you had to use at least 6 bowlers. Those no good at bowling developed fielding positions skills.
If you exclude people in 4th team games then people drift away which is no good for the club or the individuals and then the 4th team doesn't exist because of lack of numbers. 4th teams do not need to win at all cost to their members.

And he’s not on the bench, he’s in the field, playing. The team did need him. They wouldn’t be able to play without fielders.

That said, it’s for that exact reason that in teams like OP’s son is in (4th team) you’d expect some level of encouragement to keep the interest up, if the game is played in a way that makes it possible (and isn’t over early, as a PP explained can happen)

So refreshing to read this. Thus is how it should be. First team, pick team to max winning chance, yes. But OP is talking about a 4th team.

Exactly. DH says he wants 11 engaged and enthused players, and that's in the 2nds let alone the 4ths.

OP, my son is 16 and plays cricket. He is in a very competitive club that have 4 teams. All the teams want to win. My son is a leg spin bowler and even though he is good he won't get to open the bowling because the pace and swing bowlers open as they need the new ball. You can only usually get swing in the first 12 overs or so. Spin bowlers bowl best with a worn ball so bowl later. Each game is 50 overs. The previous week my son bowled 7 overs, got 3 maidens and took 3 wickets for just 8 runs, so you would think my son might get to bowl this week but he only bowled 4 overs because swing and pace bowlers went first and took almost all of the wickets. My son came on and got the final wicket. They bowled the other team out so that was it. If the batsmen above him don't get out he won't get to bat. Everyone fields. Your son's reaction is more like a 12 year old junior player than a 16 year old competing at adult level. How much practice does your son do in the nets each week? My son does about 6 hours each week in the nets practicing and has a 1-1 hour with a coach most weeks. Get your son some coaching 1-1 sessions and he will improve. If he continues he will make friends within the team. He is getting good exercise and when his team is leading by a long way they will likely let your son bowl a few overs. Sometimes his team will face strong opposition and they won't be batting well and then everyone gets to bat. Because cricket is a competitive sport the team will want the best bowlers to bowl as many overs as the rules allow and batsmen go in order it's not about everyone having a turn. Also when my son was 12 he played up in the under 16's and only rarely got to bowl or bat, sometimes he just fielded. He fielded to the best of his ability and his fielding developed.

I doubt that there will be many villages that have 4 teams. It's probably a town team.

If it was a close game a poor bowler could go for 20 or more runs in one over, multiply that by 2 if bowling 2 overs and those 40 runs could have cost his team the game. It's not ridiculous to not be given a bowl if they have better bowlers available.

' a team that had registered as seconds but was full of grown men who could/should be playing firsts'. If this was an adult cricket team how could they all being playing in the first team if they have more than 11 players? They would be playing in the league they qualified for. A club can't have two teams in the same league so if their first 11 play in league 4 then the second 11 have to play in a lower league, possibly league 5 or 6. There are often 11 leagues in cricket.

Was this a junior team? In junior cricket batters have to retire on 25 or 50 but I've never heard of this competitive adult cricket.

It really won't be because the coach/captain wanted to give someone else a turn. 🤣 It will be because the opposition is tougher today. Sounds like the captain let him bowl a few overs when they had an easier match.

But he did get to play. He was on the pitch the whole game.

Don't listen to the tough love brigade. It's shit.

If you understand toxic masculinity dressed up as competition for young teens year olds, you aren’t far off the mark either.

Absolutely bonkers

Do you know what the score was today? If it was a really close match they probably used their strongest bowlers and your DS will get a chance to bowl in another match. With cricket not everyone will bat (sometimes the openers will stay in meaning 9 players won't bat), and not everyone will bowl. If the opposition batters are doing well you give your team the best chance of bowling them out by using your strongest bowlers. If your DS doesn't enjoy fielding it's probably the wrong sport as it's such an important part of the game. Both of my DDs play and depending on the team they are playing in (school, club, county, boys etc) they will have a different role to fulfil. They have often both only fielded if playing in a stronger team.

Really depends on the team and how good he is more than anything.
When I played (mixed team) it was something like 25 overs each and no one was allowed to bowl more than 6 overs so essentially you had 4 bowlers and then the last over was by one person you hoped wasn't going to get slaughtered.

For batting if you were 7-8 on the order then usually you did get to bat unless you were against a really good team and if you were then often you'd only last a few balls.

So if you were against a good team you were more likely to have a go at batting, if you were against a poor team then often all you did was field.

This is the nature of cricket and it is a much tougher game than many realise, my DS still plays regularly at 22 but he is only one of two from his school team which won the league that still plays ...many, many youngsters drop out and many cricket clubs just don't have the numbers coming into the sport; it can be an awful lot of standing around and not doing much except at the crucial moment. My Dd made a five hour round trip from his Uni yesterday to play for his old team and was out first ball (at least he got an attempt at batting I suppose) .
Having said that I strongly believe it's a great sport for building team spirit, resilience and making friends.

Achwheesht If you bothered reading the thread you would know that I'm not a sahp of teens, no. I work f/t and have little to no involvement with the club. In all honesty, I feel guilty about it and feel it may be partly why this happens. I am not pushy at all - I'm not even at matches most of the time and have never spoken to a coach or captain about ds not getting a game. In previous seasons I have spoken with ds about ways he could handle this and he has mentioned it to the coach, and I have been proud of the fact that he did so. Have you got teens? Because it's really not as simple as giving him a hot choc and he'll be over it (though obviously I did that kind of thing). He's played cricket since he was about 5 and there were phases when he was one of the best in the team, but others have over-taken him, which is fine and happens, but it's not a simple thing for him to just give up the sport he has played for most of his life.

he has been selected just to waste the entire day

I hope you are not encouraging him in this view. There are always the same number of people on a team, regardless of their abilities.

Being part of the team, and making a contribution even if others are getting the glory is absolutely only one of the great lessons to be learned from this experience.

It's that's not for him, then maybe tennis might be a better fit for a sport.

Meanwhile, what is he dong to get better at his current team sport? Does he turn up for practice sessions regularly. Look after his fitness and nutrition?

Please don't let him think he is entitled to a go at something 'interesting' on the team without putting in the practise.

Those who have suggested that maybe they were playing to win and therefore couldn't risk him bowling, he has said that the team was very poor (hence it 'only' lasting 5 hours!). I suggested that maybe people who are weaker than him got a go but he says that didn't happen and one boy, someone we know from his primary and who definitely DOES have pushy parents, got to bowl loads of overs. DS says he's annoyed because it's random - he would get it if they were just playing to win, or if it was all about fairness and everyone getting a go but it just seems arbitrary and unfair.

He attends all the training sessions and has a great attitude - hence him getting the 'Captain's Choice' trophy last year. Just because he cried at home with his mum doesn't mean he's got a poor attitude at the game.

Cricket shouldn’t even be classed as a Sport, ridiculous game!!