11 month old in restaurant

[Anoushkaka]

So I know things have changed with parenting since I had my own children, youngest is now 11 but do some parents literally just let their kids to what they want?

Went for a meal yesterday with DH and our children. A couple come in with their baby and get seated near us. Highchair is brought over and they put him in but don't strap him in because he doesnt like to be strapped in, mother said this to waitress. They order food and literally plonk a bowl of mash, veg and gravy on the highchair for baby to eat. He puts his hands straight in and starts feeding himself with his hands, food is going everywhere, patents are looking at him and saying "what a great boy he is".

Baby literally has food everywhere, parents make a half hearted attempt to clean baby which results in an almighty tantrum and him nearly falling out of the highchair because he wasn't strapped in. Dessert comes and the same thing with a bowl of ice cream, its everywhere. They then give him a sippy cup that spills all over him because obviously its not one for his age group.

He screams to get out of highchair, father takes him out and let's him bang cutlery on the table, pull soil from a nearby plant pot and again spill water everywhere. All the parents kept saying to staff was ,"oh sorry, he is just so independent and clever for his age".

I was appalled to be honest. I spoke to my friend who is a childminder and stressed that yes unfortunately a lot of parents are now like this.

I get chucking soil around everywhere isn't ideal, not that he can understand that but parents should gently prevent that.

But eating with hands....cmon...he is 11months not 11 years. What do you expect him to be sitting there using cutlery at that age?! Even with a spoon alot of it ends up on the floor anyway at that age.

Please, try to remember in the cobwebs of your parenting mind how difficult it is handling a toddler, and stop being so overly judgemental and sensitive....I don't see anything you could call 'atrocious' parenting here.Clearly just two new parents feeling their way and maybe struggling to understand how to gently start to put boundaries in without being harsh and unfair, appreciating he is still a baby which you clearly can't.

This is why I can never fathom why lots of people on here are so against dog friendly establishments but find this acceptable

And that is exactly the way to do it.

Blimey! A lot of people are going to end up with children who refuse to eat nothing but sweet stuff and won't use a knife and fork until the are old enough to become ashamed of their table manners (about 10, probably).

I was also thinking of the "gentle parenting" and "baby led play" people. It ISN'T just letting your child do what they like - it's about seeing what the child wants to do.play with, and following their lead but not taking over the games, while at the same time establishing boundaries - for instance, if your toddler wants to draw on the wall, don't let him - just direct him to a sheet of paper and let him know that walls are not to be drawn on, but at the same time give him freedom within those necessary boundaries - don't tell him what colours to use, for instance - let him choose his own.

These buzz words do the rounds and hardly anybody bothers to properly look at what they really mean.

A dog-friendly establishment would be great actually as DDog cleans up all the dropped food at home so I don't have to

What about the banging cutlery on the table? While I appreciate babies make a mess they don't have to bang the cutlery while indulgent parents look on!

Exactly. As if having young kids isn't hard enough

The world has gone mad ...how on earth can anyone think this is acceptable behaviour or can be defended .

Love all the ‘you’re judgemental’ posts… yep damn right to be judgemental on entitled dicks who have no consideration for other people. If you’re going to inflict a messy toddler on a public restaurant, have the decency to minimise your moronic activity so it does not adversely impact on other diners or minimum wage service staff.

I don’t enjoy it when babies throw food around and scream in restaurants. But in my experience it’s pretty rare to find people who will shamelessly let their kids riot. The vast majority of parents are very conscious of people around them and will sort things out when getting out of hand.

What is a million times worse is screaming tables of drunk adults making as much noise as humanly possible and then getting arsey when asked to keep it down. And sadly not that rare! Those people can get in the bin.

What it demonstrates is that people should keep their children at home until they're able to behave in a restaurant so that other paying customers can enjoy their meals.

Wow! Horrible "vitriolic" post! I do hope all "new parents" don't have a mindset like you do.

What? I've fed my kids restaurant food as a baby. They eat normally at home. Salt isn't crack

Oh, and for all those who are still adamant that because some of us have teenagers or young adults we must have forgotten that stage, nonsense. My children were spoon fed and given spoons to learn to feed themselves with our help. When my youngest child was fifteen months old we were at an older relative's house for Sunday dinner. She sat on a booster seat and ate every scrap of her food with a spoon and fork. Baby led weaning is all very well but there has to be adult support to help them learn to feed themselves properly.

Of course you don't get it. Because you do the same

This

I plonked him on my boob and ate one handed to save them listening to him so we didnt ruin anyone's meal, my husband did try to put him in the high chair and fasten him in but he screamed so I got up and took him out to save everyone else. Having kids shouldn't stop you living your life, our older 2 know how to behave in a restaurant because we have always gone to them and they learned how to behave in there. I'm sure our just turned 2 year old will get the hang of it too, in the meantime we will continue to eat out and enjoy ourselves with our kids.

@Violinist64 Yes.

They absolutely do. My 2.5 year old has never been spoon fed. In fact he hated it if we tried. He has however sat with us at the table watching us eat for every meal since he was born. They mimic behaviour and that’s how they learn. He now uses a knife and fork better than many of the 11 year olds I teach!

Particularly when you don’t parent them very well.

Well thank fuck someone on here is talking some sense.

My children all had gravy and are healthy adults 😆They used spoons as well !

How you have the nerve to call someone else vitriolic I do not know.
Your post is an absolute disgrace.

We’ve let baby Gdcs feed themselves in restaurants, but with relatively non messy things - bread, broccoli florets, cooked carrot, chips, wedges, etc. And I’d always pick up any mess off the floor.

Looking forward to that one in Reception.