To cut DD's beautiful hair short?

[Eurydice84]

DD (4yo) has beautiful blonde hair, down to her bottom. It has lovely curls but she absolutely hates having it brushed, so the result is often a tangled mop of knots. We also go swimming two or three times a week in the pool, and despite using a swimming cap and hair masks the chlorine is not very kind to her hair. We decided to cut it in a French bob (think Amelie from the movie) and donate to the Little Princess Trust, but I am getting a lot of "oh poor her" comments. People saying it might be easier to have long hair for reception next year, as it can be tied in a ponytail? I am planning to use Alice bands and barrettes but not sure whether they are allowed at primary school?

Does she want it cut?

Won't the hair grow again by next year enough to tie up? Ignore everyone. Time to start teaching and showing her that practicalities outweigh aesthetics. (Old fashioned, heavily gendered aesthetics) yanbu

Isn't it more a poor little girl thing to have long hair that needs brushing when she hates it?

Why the need to go from really long to short? Just cut it mid length and see if it's any easier to look after. If she is going to school soon I assume she won't be swimming so much anyway?

What does your DD want doing with her hair?

Does it have to be all or nothing? From super long to too short to tie up? If your DD is happy with it why not just go for shoulder length so it’s not too much of a shock?

To be honest I don't understand why you're discussing it with other people, just get the poor kids hair cut asap. Also please make sure you're not projecting to her, her hair will still be beautiful if it's not down to her bum.

Perhaps cut it to shoulder length first and not go straight to the full bob cut.
What does she want?

We definitely prefer hair to be put up at school. We still have a nit problem and now we can't exclude children even if they are crawling with lice. Keep enough length so you can put in a high ponytail or similar style to keep it out of her face.

Cut it off. If it's hard enough to get a brush through it now just imagine the horrors of the (inevitable) nit comb come September!

She's four. She hates having it brushed. The just cut it off. A bob would look really cute.

I asked DD multiple times and she doesn't care or have an opinion on the length. Never been one for aesthetics really. She just hates having it brushed.

I'd ask her what she wanted.

Long hair down to her bottom is always going to be more tricky to look after.

A bob sounds like a good suggestion. My DD had the same at that age. She hated brushes and having a pony tail put in.

Why the poor her comments? Since when was long hair compulsory?

My DD's hair is a bit shorter than shoulder length and still tangles. If she's an active child then it will surely still tangle, and need brushing, if it's in a bob. The thing that avoids most tangles ime is to put it in plaits, so some length is helpful.

Either a bob or just long enough for a pony tail.
But get it cut.

If she doesn't mind, go for a bob.

I think it's quite sad how few girls you see with short hair these days, tbh.

Yanbu to cut it, unless she's upset by the idea (and even then you wouldn't be unreasonable to say she either has to comb it regularly or have it cut at least to a more manageable length).

I would make sure you've considered her curls though and whether the style you've selected will be manageable with the curls or it would be better to have it long enough to tie back - but that really depends on her particular hair texture.

I would certainly have it cut if the maintenance is making you both unhappy. If you leave some length in it to tie it up then that seems like a good compromise as pp's have said. Having less length might even encourage the curls more.

What you're suggesting is unnecessarily dramatic I think. Even moderately long hair, which is still long enough to tie back, will be much easier to brush than hair that is down to her waist. In my experience with DD, trimming it regularly makes a bogger difference to how easy it is to brush, rather than the actual length - keeping the ends neat and in good condition makes a massive difference on long hair.

Unless she actively wants it cut into a bob, in which case I'd go along with her wishes.

I cut both my daughters' hair (one primary age, one at nursery) into bobs as it's a complete PITA otherwise. When either complains we'll discuss it, but they're fine with it for now. She'll probably prefer it if it means less wrestling with the tangles

I cut my daughters hair short when she was little because she just hated brushing. She was happy.
later in her tweens because if lockdowns her hair grew really long again and then she cut it short because she still hates having it brushed or brushing it or washing it. Girls can have short hair

(My dd had a short bob until she was about 6 and wanted to grow it. I trim it regularly but it's very straight and wispy/slippy, too thin for slides and always makes a bid for freedom from her ponytail. I'd much prefer her to have it short again but she wants it long for now so <sigh>)

o/p it sounds like you and all those you’re discussing it with associate dd’s hair with beauty and femininity.

will she be any less beautiful with short hair?
is it good for girls to learn that their looks are so important, and their hair is key to being seen as beautiful?
do we teach them they must spend time on washing, hair masks, avoiding chlorine damage, brushing etc all to maintain their beauty?

if you cut it what will happen? It will grow again. Then you can try something different, and it will grow again.

if your dd is happy to get it cut go for it. As short as she wants. Learn about different styles, experiment, have fun!

I’d do it in stages - you might find she has a strong opinion once the deed is done!

My DD had very long hair and wanted it shorter; we went from waist length to half way down the back to just below shoulders. And she decided to stop there rather than the much shorter style she’d originally fancied. It is much, much easier to manage, but also very easy to stick in a ponytail.

She hates having it brushed because it HURTS! Poor love. Get it cut. My dd went from a bob to long at primary school and is now back to a severe bob. She has been happiest with short hair (and pulls it into two tiny stumpy pigtails for sports, like something out of St Trinians)

if you keep it long(ish) experiment with different detangling brushes and combs and also make sure you use proper swimming shampoo and conditioner, every single time. Brushing it through while the conditioner is in her hair might help.