To cut DD's beautiful hair short?

[Eurydice84]

DD (4yo) has beautiful blonde hair, down to her bottom. It has lovely curls but she absolutely hates having it brushed, so the result is often a tangled mop of knots. We also go swimming two or three times a week in the pool, and despite using a swimming cap and hair masks the chlorine is not very kind to her hair. We decided to cut it in a French bob (think Amelie from the movie) and donate to the Little Princess Trust, but I am getting a lot of "oh poor her" comments. People saying it might be easier to have long hair for reception next year, as it can be tied in a ponytail? I am planning to use Alice bands and barrettes but not sure whether they are allowed at primary school?

No I use a special hairbrush with spaced out teeth. Like the sort you use for brushing conditioner through hair I think.

Brushing curly hair when dry will definitely cause it to break.

Ask the hairdresser for products to detangle curly hair- they exist is spray on form and work well with wide toothed combs.

Remember that hair regrows.
A bob can always be grown long again.
I would cut it into a bob that is just long enough to pull into a pony tail for swimming or dancing purposes..
Your daughter will love being free of the burden of hair brushing.

Just cut it.

Best decision we made for DD at a similar age. She looked great, but FAR more importantly there were no more upset fights trying to sort her hair out. No tears, no fuss. No daily battle with tangles.

Life changing.

If you have eczema or skin problems, you may need something more specialist. If your daughter hasn't got any such issues, cheap conditioner will work fine for co-washing, try the Alberto Balsam stuff that's a quid a bottle. Might need something heavier for actual conditioning. Curly Girl does require a bit of trial and error to find what works best for the individual. You don't necessarily need something specialist for curls, just no sulphates or silicone.

But don't brush her hair! Ever! At most, wide tooth plastic comb while wet, if her hair can handle it. If her hair still curls well at bum length, the curls are probably quite strong and tight so she may be better off never combing at all. Not everyone needs to. Don't worry about it.

A few years back I shaved my hair off (for outing reasons) and omg the comments I got! I was so 'brave', how could I even dare to do that? Absolute bobbins. I HATE the gender expectations around women's hair.

If she's not bothered and it's a pain, cut it. It will grow back. It won't scar her for life. It won't other her or make her stand out.

The only argument against a bob that I have patience with is the 'long enough to tie back' one. I know nits are rife in schools and according to my SIL a plait and hairspray are the only things that keep them at bay. Although (of course) she's not practicing that with my nephew, only my niece.

Of course you should cut it- she's not bothered, only you are. You are the one that thinks it's beautiful to have long hair. If she wants it long again in the future she can grow it then. Meh, hair grows!

Down to her bum is extremely long. I don't think you need to be as drastic as cutting it short though, just go for mid length.

If she doesn't care then get it cut and donate to little Princess charity and treat her to a few nice Alice bands. By next year it will have grown again.

Why are you trying to brush curls poor kid.
Loads of conditioner when wet either use fingers or wide tooth comb.
If you want to keep it longer you need to learn to care for it

I know an 8 year old who had long blonde hair up until recently when she did just what you said - chopped it off to just a bit shorter than her chin and donated the length.

It was an adjustment, but she loves it - brushing/washing etc is so much faster, doesn't have to muck about in the morning or night putting it in plaits etc. and if she does get nits, it'll be a lot easier to deal with (I have one with long curly, and one with short hair - and I know which I prefer dealing with nits on!)

If your daughter doesn't have an opinion either way, and she's active, and hates having her hair brushed/fussed with then go for it. There's nothing wrong with having short hair!

You need to tie it back for school - for science, PE etc. And a bob is long enough to, say, be a danger with a Bunsen burner

This is a 4 year old, she will not be doing anything with bunsen burners. And the whole point of a short bob is that it doesn't need to be tied back for PE or science because it isn't in the way naturally.

Adorable curly bobs

well then... cut it! No brainer surely.

She's 4. She doesn't get to decide.

I agree but by bobbing it you are adding further requirements in terms of keeping it neat

just cut it to shoulder length that can be tied back so it is functional and learn how to deal with curly hair

Also, for sensitive scalp try Grüum nourishing shampoo bar and conditioning bar. Great for curly hair and sensitive scalps, the shampoo has only 5 ingredients and no irritating preservatives like liquid shampoo. It's fabulous stuff.

But I am getting a lot of "oh poor her" comments. People saying it might be easier to have long hair for reception next year, as it can be tied in a ponytail? I am planning to use Alice bands and barrettes but not sure whether they are allowed at primary school?

Next year hair will grow back by then- shoulder length or just above would give enough length for ponytail - you might want it back as nits are a common issue.

Bum length hair and nits with child who hates brushing isn't good anyway.

If she not bothered cut it and don't worry about other opinions - they're not the ones dealing with the hair.

I'd also invest in detangle spray and detangle brushes and really good conditioner.

Do four year olds have much to do with Bunsen Burners these days?

It's her hair and she's old enough to be aware of it. A drastic haircut on a four year old if they don't want it is something she'll remember.

Short bobs on curls don't always work. Sometimes the hair needs a bit of weight to stop the curl flying all over the place.

Depressing how many people think the answer to hair that isn't straight is to cut it all off.

If she hates having brushed after swimming, imagine how she'll react to having a nit comb pulled through it twice a day. Nits were rife at my DS's school so he had a buzz cut because even combing his short hair was a bother.

DD started Reception with a bob and we never had any issues. She let it grow around Y2.

She also has curly hair and it definitely makes it easier to deal with.

She is now 16 and went through a variety of lenght over the years and is now at a lob length.

➰As a curly girl myself, who was subjected to - and traumatised by - a short cut at a young age, I say….. do it. But don’t go too short.

Her hair is long and the curls will be weighed down - you don’t know how curly it might be when it’s a lot shorter so just proceed with caution as curly hair can spring up a LOT. as my mother unfortunately found out when my short bob became a bit of a crop (and actually made me look like a short Bob - “hi son”, “come here boy” etc).

she sounds like she has beautiful hair so treat it kindly, nurture it and by all means make life easier for both of you.

beautiful curls will still be beautiful when they’re shorter and I too really dislike the whole Disney hair thing. I’m currently trying to persuade my daughter to have her long, very curly hair cut to a more manageable length. She’ll be beautiful regardless.

good luck!

That's a really horrible attitude. Ok, there are some things about their bodies four year olds can't be allowed to control (like refusing to brush teeth). But everything else, they ought to get to control - otherwise what the heck are you teaching them about consent?

How vain do people think small girls are that she'd be 'poor' for having shorter more practical hair? And that's without the fact a short cut can look just as lovely. If she even cared about that anyway. My DD really didn't at 4, she just wanted to play and not have tugging hair brushes, she had hers cut proper short, boy style. Or actually, we were quite willing to do this, but she got in first with craft scissors and did most of it for herself, with comical effect.

Either very short, or just long enough for a ponytail. Anything but swishing around and catching nits once she starts school!

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This stuff is amazing. My daughter also has long hair. Works well after washing it.