To cut DD's beautiful hair short?

[Eurydice84]

DD (4yo) has beautiful blonde hair, down to her bottom. It has lovely curls but she absolutely hates having it brushed, so the result is often a tangled mop of knots. We also go swimming two or three times a week in the pool, and despite using a swimming cap and hair masks the chlorine is not very kind to her hair. We decided to cut it in a French bob (think Amelie from the movie) and donate to the Little Princess Trust, but I am getting a lot of "oh poor her" comments. People saying it might be easier to have long hair for reception next year, as it can be tied in a ponytail? I am planning to use Alice bands and barrettes but not sure whether they are allowed at primary school?

I had 4yo dd's hair cut a few weeks ago, best decision EVER

Both my dd had lovely long curly hair that was awful to brush/comb. They are both ASD so that didn't help. Screamed the house down like they were being murdered when I brushed it. They've both had shoulder length bobs till they could manage it themselves. Just long enough for them to get it into a pony tail. Youngest hair goes extra curly when it's shorter. She's kept it this way well into her teens. Looks amazing x

Maybe have it cut to the middle or bottom of her ribs. Still long enough to tie up and style, but easier to maintain than bum length hair. I wouldn’t opt for a Bob as that’s really extreme.

Show her pictures on google of different lengths and her her to choose one.

Could try cutting a dolls hair first like a barbie dolls and see if she like it

If she is happy to have it cut then have it cut.

Personally I would go a bit longer to tie up. DDs school had a real problem with nits. She was the only one that didn’t get them multiple times. I used to spray her hair with tea tree in some water and then tie it up, after she got them the first time. Did the trick.

Avon do a fantastic detangling spray which was recommeded by our hairdresser for DDs extremely thick wavy hair (she has enough hair for 2-3 girls, & regularly even now breaks hair bands) . We went through litres of it, was the only thing that worked with her hair.

https://avon.uk.com/products/naturals-kids-magnificent-mango-detangling-spray?variant=41609229369389&istCompanyId=76bae047-59d6-4b73-a1d9-de6de4f94e5b&istFeedId=e4b47740-35da-48bf-ba60-101fe116f54f&istItemId=rmiamlmxp&istBid=t&gclid=CjwKCAjw36GjBhAkEiwAKwIWyc84J-gg9n32avvsfhNE9H_IHEl1q6y-3c2Gz7QbM1zs3VhR0-tC1hoCH9wQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

This. Waist length “Disney” hair is wholly impractical on a 4 year old who hates having it brushed and styled. Make life easier for everyone.

Why is a bob “really extreme”

lots of girls, women, and even boys have bob styles.

nothing even slightly extreme about it.

Definitely chop it, it's just hair.
Long hair is probably the first thing where little girls are exposed to pain and inconvenience for the sake of their appearance. Later they'll have plucking, waxing, heels, dye, control underwear, botox etc etc. Give her a practical haircut and tell anyone who comments to mind their own business.

Sorry I read it as its cut now? As someone with long hair and a dd with long hair I find it's easier to manage by cutting a few inches off and regularly trims so long can work. Dd has hair tied up at school and has less nits than he brothers with very short hair. I get a £1.60 hair oil from Tesco and even it was un brushed for days I could brush waist length hair it in under two minutes. Long hair takes effort that's true but the nits thing and attraching them I haven't found to be true

You just need to spend on proper hair care products to get rid of the knots and keep it moisturised.

The John Frieda de frizz range is amazing and worth the money IMO. The serum is brilliant and doesn't dry out the hair. Lasts to the next wash.

One of mine has thick, dry, easily tangled hair. Brushing it was a nightmare when she was young - even when wet and plastered in conditioner. She also used to screech at every tangle making the process even more painful. Having it collar / shoulder length was so much easier.

As a teen she got better at brushing it herself and keeping it tangle free (and faffing with it for hours became one of her hobbies!) so she then could have it very long and it looks amazing.

Cut your dd's hair - it will grow again and when she can look after it herself, she can have it long.

I don't see the problem. You've decided with your daughter on a new hairstyle that sounds lovely and will be much more convenient for her. If she decides she actually liked it long, the hair will grow back. Everyone butting in with "oh poor her" comments is being weird and needs to butt back out again.

Also recommend the preventative nit spray detangler you can get from Boots, expensive but works!

So nit spray x2 wk and john frieda serum 1-2x week

Or you know just cut the hair. She doesn't need to buy expensive products when cutting the hair will solve the issue.

I'm surprised that so many think a bob is such an extreme cut and it's very tiresome to see the same nonsense trotted out about long princess hair being the most desirable.

Some people are just weird. It’s not cruel or sad to cut her hair to a manageable and practical length. She’s not a pretty doll just to be looked. Having to sit through detangling is unpleasant for both of you!

A bob will be lovely. I would have it just long enough that at least half can be tied back off her face.

Sounds like a no-brainer to lose some length, and definitely not something that needs to be discussed with other people.

To be honest, OP, given that she hates having it brushed, and doesn’t seem at all attached to the idea of long hair, I’m wondering whose idea it was to grow it so very long — yours, presumably?

Boys with short hair get nits too. Small children get nits from each other because they put their heads together when playing or working together. Hair length has nothing to do with it, the nits live near the root of the hair, not down at the ends.

As a child I had waist length hair which constantly got tangled. My DM trimmed it and when I was 9 cut too much off by accident so my best friend’s DM who used to be a hairdresser was roped in in a hurry that evening to give me a long bob to my shoulders!

My DNephew who’s almost 5 has hair to his shoulders (I think a bit below this). It’s a pain for his parents as he hates having it washed and blow dried but they and him like it being long. However he has said he’d be fine with it being like Harry Potter.

I’d cut your daughter’s hair and see how she gets on with it.

Similar to a few PPs here I’ve known a few children with shorter hair when they were younger and there wasn’t much choice in the matter, it was that way because it was easier to handle.

She hates having her long hair brushed. So cut it short. Why do other people’s opinions matter so much to you? IRL and on MN.

I'm surprised that so many think a bob is such an extreme cut and it's very tiresome to see the same nonsense trotted out about long princess hair being the most desirable.

Not only tiresome but really depressing. It seems it’s fine for boys to buck gender stereotypes and wear their hair long, but for girls to wear their hair short shock horror nooooooo! I had a pixie cut at intervals as a child and it was just so freeing being able to run and jump and climb without a load of hair flapping about and getting caught.

If she has very curly hair it might be easier to manage with some length, rather than a short bob. But if she doesn't care, why have you let it get so long in the first place? I've had bum-length hair, it's a total pain to manage and mine is pin-straight.

Just cut it!

A bob is a great style for a small child.

You don't need to brush curly hair, OP. Look at the curly girl method, can't think why you can't use it on a child. Just loads of conditioner and only brush when wet with loads of conditioner in.

That said, I'd still probably cut it - maybe shoulder length first to see how you get on before full on bob?