Lodger and booby traps

[Hoppygolightly]

Hi

I have had a lodger for the past year , clean tidy and shares house.

I have an ensuite so she generally has main bathroom to herself. She does not I stress have an ensuite , she shares main bathroom and usually has to herself

In the past year a handful if visitors have used the main bathroom and this really upsets her and she will then loudly and obviously start cleaning it and disinfecting it and sighing , this could be when someone has just washed their hands , I'm not talking about leaving a filthy toilet etc

Realised yesetrday she has wedged toilet paper in the bathroom door so she can see if ils been opened and toilet paper around the toilet seat so she can see if it has been lifted

Hasn't spoken to me about any of this, if someone's used that bathroom she will clean up noisily, spray air freshener everywhere and not speak to me for a while

I know it's weird , I can't stop visitors using the main bathroom unless I tell them to use my ensuite , had a friend over at the weekend and did actually do that so as not to cause issues ..but they look at me like I'm crazy

Apart from this she is great, but I'm thinking it's bloody odd , it makes visitors feel really awkward !

Well good luck t them!

Monday to Friday lodging is common in London, my aunt lets her spare room to someone who commutes into London from their home town on Monday morning, stays four nights and leaves on Friday morning.

He makes his bed up on a Monday evening and strips it on a Friday morning. At the weekends my aunt uses the bedroom as a "normal" spare bedroom (so if we're visiting she'll make the bed up for us, for example). The lodger only has use of the room in the week. I believe he may have some permanent drawer and/or wardrobe space in there for some of his work clothes and more casual things to wear in the evenings to save him hauling everything around every week, I've never asked or looked inside the furniture! I'm pretty sure he has a shelf in the bathroom.

But certainly what he gets is very minimal (I suppose he considers his home outside London to be his main home) and he is happy to pay for it and has lodged with her long term. I think lots of people who want the "outside London lifestyle" on the weekends while still earning the London money are happy to have something functional and basic during the week because that's not where they look for their home comforts.

Isn't she lucky they had a spare room with a private bathroom available for her?!!
Can't believe she left the room in such a state, you're well rid!!

She was very reticent about where she was going and I don't have a forwarding address so no idea what her plans were longer term.

As I was buying a new chest of drawers and bed base and cleaning under the bed, I did think Kerist I'm glad we didn't get mice!!!

This is pretty much what my M-F rental was like. I stored towels (rail in bathroom so I didn’t have to worry about putting them away damp), a bathrobe, a hairdryer, toiletries etc. and it let me travel up and down with a small, light suitcase. I also got space in the fridge and freezer for bread, butter, marmalade, stuff for lunches (usually bought after work Monday and all gone by Friday). All my actual property was at home.

Employing the most charitable interpretation to her behaviour. Is she left as the sole cleaner of that bathroom? I can imagine as you don’t use it perhaps it’s not on your radar? I’m not sure I’d be hugely bothered if I was in her shoes, but if she’s left cleaning up after herself (fair), her guests (also fair), but your guests, maybe she thinks it’s a bit much?

She’s unreasonable for being passive aggressive and not communicating if so.

And yet she couldn't cope with a normal person using the bathroom in a normal way!

Nowt so queer as folk and all that.

Glad she's gone OP. Change the lock!

I just ‘love’ the way someone always has to make an excuse for unacceptable behaviour.
If the woman really does have OCD about occasionally sharing a bathroom, maybe it’s time she found accommodation with her own en-suite.

I'd definitely make sure that while you're living there without anyone else in the house, that you consider either changing the lock or getting some additional security on the front and back doors so that she can't let herself in. She comes across as someone who might leave amicably but actually think it would be quite normal to let herself in and make herself at home if/when you're not around!

She certainly sounds a woman who has a few issues!

Yikes, bullet dodged?
Someone else's problem now thankfully.

Perfect way to approach it.

Oh sorry, I didn't notice the date further upthread, just saw it in Active! glad it's all resolved now.

She's now currently on holiday with her work colleagues:

😂😂😂

Not sure what the problem is really. Basically, she's worried about cleanliness and hygiene and likes to clean the bathroom if she knows someone else has been in there. Fair enough. What harm is leaving loo paper? It's her way of knowing if someone has used it. Far better that than her cleaning it every time she goes in, whether it's been used or not.

I'm guessing it's going to be very short term once she shows her true colours.

Well done OP for getting it sorted!

How on earth does someone manage to break several glasses and plates, a chest of drawers and a bed base in one year? Do you think it was deliberate or was she just inordinately clumsy?

Anyway, I'm glad she has gone Op. Are you steeling yourself for the arrival of another lodger?

I think I actually understand this behaviour. But of course I’m not living in someone else’s house who may have guests. When I had my dishwasher delivered the two gentlemen delivering asked if they could use the bathroom. After they had left the place was rather a mess. I had to do a fair bit of cleaning without going into detail. Let’s just say they missed the toilet.

Ordinarily, I don’t like people using my bathroom, but I do have my en suite as well as a refuge that I know is safe. The idea of the toilet paper left in places will indicate what has been used and what needs to be cleaned. So every time I have a visitor I go in and do a quick wipe down so I know that it’s sanitised. This is not logical behaviour, I know that but I can’t help it, and I think your lodger may be the same.

It is one of the reasons I don’t like having visitors to my home. I had issues sharing a toilet at work with other ladies who would leave it in a mess. My head just can’t fathom sharing such personal intimate things as toilets. I know that some people don’t wash their hands and make a mess on the seat (floor) and that gives me the ick.

I think you should just let her get on with cleaning it. She’s probably not happy about doing it, but I think she realises it’s not exclusively as. But the only way she will be comfortable to use it as if she cleans every time there is a guest. Would be good if she did it without all the puffing and panting & sighing.

Read the update where the OP found the fortunately vacated room in a disgusting state! The bathroom cleanliness thing was a bathroom only thing.

I have no idea ! Don't think it was deliberate , found pieces of the chest of drawers under her bed when I cleaned, like the bottoms of drawers and most of the knobs ? She never mentioned it at all

Bed slats broken , metal base was ok , again no idea , didn't find that till after she had gone , broken as in snapped

A few glasses and plates I guess is fair , other things broken off like door hooks and broken curtain rail , would have been better to tell me at the time

@Hoppygolightly I'm assuming you had no deposit from this woman. I'd be sending her a text to express my extreme disappointment at her tbh. What a total CF she turned out to be.

Did have a deposit, returned most of it

Some.damage wear and tear it could.be argues like crockery and glasses

Other I didn't know about!!!

Just glad she is gone

So did you not do a final inspection of the room with her present before she left and before you returned most of the deposit? I'd be suspicious she'd broken some things deliberately in a fit of pique! It sounds like she didn't deserve much deposit returned tbh.