To have just exploded today

[Cantstandbullies]

I’ve name changed because it’s outing but tbh I have nothing to be ashamed over.

I’ve posted in the past about this bully in my sons class (y6) about him saying sexual things to my son & to other kids, the school had to ring social services over him.

I have always tried to remain dignified at the school even though I really wanted to say something to his mum, who has never once apologised for her sons vile behaviour. Even though the school have had to ring SS over him & keep him away from my son.

my little one has Cystic Fibrosis & had a feeding tube fitted recently, I got a call today from the school saying he’d fell on school tires & hit his tube. Let’s just say when I got there it looked like he’d been in a road accident how bad it was. The blood everywhere. Had to take him home & see the stoma nurse. Thankfully it’s ok now.

I get a text off my sons friend. They go to the same school, saying “her son wanted to tell her that the bully pushed my son on the tire & made him fall on his tube but he knows my son is to scared to tell me” I asked him after physically getting on my hands & knees & begging him because I just knew he was hiding it. My son went grey. I’ve never seen anyone go that colour. He finally caved.

He’s been picking on my son AGAIN when the teachers haven’t been looking, the past year has been horrific. Now it all makes sense. The weight loss, the picking at his lips to the point every part of his lips have no skin just scabs, the pulling his nail beds to pieces, I asked him months ago, was the bully in question bullying you again, please tell me you’re in no trouble. I’ve always made it clear he will never ever be in trouble he just needs to talk to me. But he’s put on such a bravado that he truly convinced us he was just down over his CF, so he’s been seeing the CF Psychologist.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore & I approached the bully’s mum (with the intentions to tell her to actually have words with her son) Soon as I approached her in the most non confrontational way she jumped on the offensive, I just exploded. Told her to keep her horrible nasty bullying son away from mine. I’ve had enough. I absolutely went off on one. I’m not proud of it but I’ve watched my son go from the most loveliest, kindest boy to a shell of himself.

He was pretending he was down because of his Cystic Fibrosis. I feel like I’ve failed him as a mum. I can’t stop crying, the school have done nothing at all. I don’t feel bad for the things I said to his mum though, her son is exactly the way he is because she can’t see no wrong in her son & that was so obvious today.

I know I’m not BU, (maybe some might say I am for even approaching her) I’d expect her to react the same had my son been the bully & I would wipe the floor with my son.

So now I’m in limbo, I just don’t know whether to home school him now but then I think why should the bully be let off the hook.

Im just distraught seeing my little sons face crumble. The colour he went was pure fear, it is scorched in my brain. I’ve had talks with him from when he was old enough to understand about how important it is to stand up for yourself but also that it’s ok if you are scared just tell me or your dad so we can fix it.

So sorry for going on. I’m just gutted. Sorry. I don’t even know what I’m looking for on here. I’m just so so heartbroken.

Good for you!!. Hate bullies with a passion. Your darling boy, how dare they. Yes take it further, let's face it, it's assault. Good luck.

graphic picture warning

Thanks again everyone, I am so appreciative of the support. I took a picture of his stomach but after I’d wiped most of the blood away so it doesn’t look half as bad as what it actually looked like at the start. I’ve attached it, but this was the mild state of it after I’d cleaned it at school. I just panicked & had to stop the bleeding then wipe his stomach. I had no idea at the time, that the bully had caused it until a few hours later.

I wish so much I’d have known so I couldn’t taken the picture straight away. But even the mild version of it is bad enough. I’m not posting the picture to be crude. I just want to give a visual of the state his tummy was left in. To show how serious it was. His shirt has been binned because the blood wouldn’t have came out I don’t think x sorry if this is graphic for people x

What a wonderful Mum you are OP. I'd give you a big hug!

Poor little kid! The infection risk from this kind of injury is also huge! I think like people have suggested, I would formally lodge a complaint with the police. Be honest and tell them that you yelled at the mum afterwards (entirely understandable) and that this giant bully has been allowed free access to continue his reign over your very ill child, while the school has been blind to this.
The school needs to know that they have been utterly derelict in their duty of care to prevent this happening. That this child obviously has serious issues but has NOT been supervised while your child has been terrorized and abused. You do NOT believe that lessons have been learned and you do not trust that they have your child’s best interests at heart. Despite assurances from previous conversations re bullying child, they failed to keep your child safe and the consequences may very well have been fatal.

It's time to get police involved, I think. Verbal sexual abuse, a potentially life threatening injury, disgusting. You need to take this as high as it goes. Take it to newspapers, get a petition to remove this foul kid. And take your son out of school for the time being, poor poor baby. I'm so sorry.

Your chronically ill child was assaulted. Damn right I'd pursue charges. Criminally and civilly against the school, individual teachers, bully, his parents, whomever. I'm so sick of bullies being seen as victims.

Big hugs OP.

At least you didn't do this....
There was an awful bully at out school, a huge lad, strong, very good looking and charming but his behaviour was evil (sexual abuse IMO). The school tried but he was sneaky.
There was a younger boy he targeted for 6 months. In the end, the lad's father baled up the bully and told him if he didn't leave his son alone he would sneak in through his bedroom window and beat him up.
I was utterly horrified that he did that (and the fact that the father was a small, weedy chap, the bully would have eaten him for breakfast was not lost on me) but it worked.

20 years later I am still uneasy about it.
You went to an adult, you didn't bully a child.

I’m so sorry, OP. Sending hugs to you and your sweet boy.
my DS was desperately badly bullied in school and I never exploded at the parents. For what it’s worth I sometimes wish I had. At least your son knows you will defend him fiercely.
it is the loneliest, most wretched feeling in the world to see them be bullied. I am so sorry. You are not slone.

Coerced? I had no idea he had pushed him until my sons friends mum told me that her son had seen him do it. Why the hell would I coerce my son into something so vile like that. That’s just disgusting.

@Cantstandbullies , firstly I'm so sorry this has happened to your boy.

As someone who was mercilessly bullied at school & left to put up with it for 4 years- with no support or protection- from the teachers, please get him out of there.

Get justice first by reporting the spiteful bullying little shit, then after an apology, say f off to that school - that place your son will want to never return to xx

I would absolutely go to the police for something like this. The bully
is 11. That is old enough to know better.

Go away & grow up. I’m not even entertaining you.

Hi @Cantstandbullies

I totally understand your explosive reaction towards bully's shit mother,

I would get in touch with Headmaster and tell School Governors about this ongoing continual issue aswell.

You either got option of home schooling ,with a tutor on board, or moving to different school elsewhere,

remember you can still pursue chasing up the school about bullying issues, with your son being taught elsewhere aswell.

I am sorry you went through that. It must’ve been awful.

He isn’t going back, I couldn’t do that to him, I will be home schooling him until he starts high school & I am definitely reporting it x

@Liorae

What a extremely objective shitty post you have sent op@Cantstandbullies , who happens to be a mum of child with speacial needs.
(I think your shitty post @Liorae just reflects , the kind of shitty person you are really,
now piss off 😤,
Actually fuck off, you nasty piece of work, !

Can someone report this one to mumsnet quarters, for your post being disabilist , !

I hope you get struck off mumsnet website sooner or later too. !

I’d go to the police too. This is a serious assault, aside from the ongoing behaviour. I’d also write a letter to the Head and the Governors telling them what you’re doing and why. I’d keep him out of school in the meantime and change schools if he still wants to attend - if the bully remains at the school.

Big hugs for you and your son.

Actually @Cantstandbullies
I would inform the local Police about these bullying assaults attacks happening at school.

Do I just go into the police station? I’ve checked online but nothings really showing about how I report it? Thanks for replying x

@Mumtobabyhavoc
Totally agree with your post,
I think you have hit nail on the head 💯, !

@Cantstandbullies Nope dial 101 right now, they're open 24/7. That's the non-emergency line. They'll be quiet right now too, so it's a good time to call. They'll make an appointment for an officer to come to your house.

Meanwhile, please don't send your son back in tomorrow. If anything else happens, it could make his injury worse and besides, poor boy doesn't deserve the fear

Oh your poor little boy, sending you both lots of well wishes. I would have reacted exactly the same. I would Homeschool him bless him, sounds like he has been through enough.

@Cantstandbullies your poor boy 😢

Theyre both lucky all you did was kick off verbally. I'm short, old, injured and slow but JFC! I know this sounds awful and I'm generally not prone to lashing out, but I feel this urge to land this kid in his arse!

im glad you're keeping him home, but the other little shit should be excluded so your DS Can go back for his last few weeks at his primary!!

it needs escalating so the little fuck can't go to the senior school your DS is going to.

If DS wasn't telling anyone I'm not sure how the school is at fault though?

once DS is a lot better you need to get to the bottom of why he was too scared to tell you.

thank god for DS's friend & his Mum. I'd be sending a thank you card & an appropriate gift.

I hope DS is, at least physically, feeling a lot better this morning.

on the bright side, this might mean he starts eating again & you can get rid of the feeding tube.

I really think you need to go to the police with this one - the first time I have ever said that.

I would be going before going to the school, and I would then inform the school of the police complaint. Insist on seeing the governors to do the same. Let them know that if one more hair on the head of your medically vunerable child is hurt you will take them court. Show you mean business.

Your son has a medical condition - use that.

The bully, at 11 years of age is old enough to understand fully what he is doing - as shown by his cunning.

You want to scare the living daylights out of this child, his mother AND the school.

You are not a bad mother. Your son is growing up and thought he should/could handle it. Mine made a choice like that at the same age. Like you, a little part of me died when I knew what she went through. She is flying high now though so hang on!

But fight back really hard - escalate.