Ignore and block childminder?

[Avatari]

Several months ago we started looking for childcare and nursery options were not looking great. We managed to find a woman who would come to the house and babysit from 9-5. 2 months before starting she said she would agree to £11.50 an hour to baby sit 1 yr old. The week before she was due she told us her husband said she couldn't work for less than £13 so we agreed. As we were pretty stuck at that point, I was back at work in 5 days with no alternative.

She hasn't been great. At one point she told us on the Sunday she wouldn't be available that week. Then would get annoyed when we told her there were school holidays so we wouldn't need her. We have been looking for alternative care and managed to get a nursery place starting next week. We told her as soon as we knew, end of April that wed only need her 3 more weeks. So this week should have been her last week. Except we have covid. So told her we wouldn't need her.
We were intending to send her a gift to thank her for her help and send her this week's money.

EXCEPT she has just sent a message to DH saying that we need to pay for June and July as we had a contract. There was no contract. We never specified when we would need her until. She also said she was a single mother and has three children. She has repeatedly told us about her husband.

We are now inclined to not offer to pay this week just ignore and block now. But just wanted thoughts that this is reasonable and reassurance that she hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Why don’t you RTFT instead of posting an ignorant comment.

This is why you don't post questions about this sort of thing on here: too many people trying to tell OP how tax law works.

If you have a window cleaner, and they come to your house for a set number of hours a week, do you pay their NI? No you don't.

Gardener? No

Cleaner? No

No one does, because no one needs to. Any number of services are paid for with cash on z daily basis without anyone registering with HMRC.

Its down to the babysitter to declare cash earnings that is what self assessment is.

Pretty sure I'm correct for several reasons:

1. Im self employed
2. Mums a retired accountant who did my books
3. MiL is an ex tax officer who advised me on what tax I would pay and how to go about it

Read the whole of your thread = glad it ended well
(hugs) can’t believe some of the judgey, ill-informed comments - people really should READ before leaping in.

🌼🌸🌺🌼

You can’t claim unfair dismissal unless you have worked for your employer for more than 2 years. Unless it’s an automatically unfair reason, for example discrimination

Explains about who needs to register, babysitting hours etc. Nanny would be ok but not a paid non-family ‘babysitter’ as specified https://www.gov.uk/become-childminder-nanny#:~:text=You%20can%20get%20a%20fine,than%202%20hours%20a%20day

The ability to act superior, pontificate without encumbrances and to enjoy the piling on to another person, all seem to be reasons many are posting.

I just keep telling myself...glass houses and stones...glass houses and stones. I bet most of the posters being denigrating and unkind live in glass houses themselves.

This... :-)

Avatari ·
You said, "Comments like this are the very worst of mumsnet. Chooses not to inform herself by reading all my posts then makes an incredibly vicious judgement that I don't care for my child."
Well done for picking up that nasty attack by Houseupdate. I think people who can be shown to make abusive accusations against anyone which are proven wrong by what the accused has previously written should be given a warning and banned from at least the thread if not mumsnet. There are too many people who do not read what people write then, using strong language, abuse them and accuse them of behaviour of which they clearly are not culpable.

"Once again, the issue is resolved, I realised it would have been shit not to pay her the final week quite early on in fact. We paid her the final week but told her we wouldn't be paying the two months she requested. It actually ended cordially and she commented on what a pleasure it was to BABYSIT DC. So she considers herself a babysitter to put an end to that particular debate."
My congratulations! You are an example of superb diplomacy, keeping to facts, doing what is right and achieving the results with dignity and satisfaction for everyone concerned. Good for you!

This. She's not behaved great, but you employed someone, OP. You need to set that up properly at the start. You never established whether she was self-employed, or employed by you and your DH. You're on dodgy ground. Just pay her for the week that you have said you don't need her due to sickness, and let the whole thing go. It could have got a lot worse.

If you had no contract, send a message saying you were going to pay her the week you were ill and a vonus as a gift but due to her lies that is no longer available. Sounds like a really bad serial liar tbh, cant remember what she has and hasnt said

@Avatari

Scrolled through your posts to read updates on the situation.

Saw in your last post the MN mob had riled you, caught the words “rabid hyenas”, which made me both laugh and commiserate in equal measure. You’re not wrong!! It can be mad.

Sorry you got the rough end of it, glad your childcare issue is sorted, I think you handled it well all things considered.

rabid hyenas Yes 😂 I like the way op called that out- not that it was even noticed by some falling over themselves to throw stones.

My advice is to never start a thread in AIBU- it’s the blood sport arena

You’re not being unreasonable.
She is clearly not declaring it and I’d assume she should register as self employed if she is doing ad-hoc (babysitting) childcare and declare her earnings that way?
Which is not a ‘you’ problem….
Pay her the week that you cancelled, maybe even until the end of May and leave it at that.
She won’t take you to court or whatever if it’s cash, and if she did, she’d be paying more in court fee’s. You gave her notice, a judge would most likely just laugh in her face.

This - although I would imagine it is unlikely she has been paying tax and NI therefore she she is unlikely to go down the legal route. Pay her the week and then move on.

£13 an hour to care for your precious child is a joke. Nursery is cheaper because you’re not getting 1:1 care!

the fact you would employ someone you clearly respect so little (yes, you employed her) to care for your own child is very surprising.

I feel like the whole thing just shows the dreadful state of childcare in this country. I’m glad you’ve now got a nursery place and a more legit arrangement

She is obviously annoyed at not getting the final weeks pay but given her behaviour & attitude I wouldn’t blame you for not wanting too but In this case I think you should pay her the final week just to get rid of her.

You are not her employer, there is no signed contract. It was a cash in hand arrangement, she wasn’t paying any tax or NI so I doubt she has declared the money as official earnings. There is something called benefit fraud which happens to be illegal & I strongly suspect she may be doing this 🤣

Please ignore all the ridiculous suggestions of her having any grounds for legal action🫣

Wow. People need to chill out and be realistic. I was in this position as the nanny once.

I had a casual arrangement (no formal contract, paid in bank transfers) where I was working three days a week looking after a 6 week old. I was found by the family via a nanny/childcare search website. I had no formal certification but my experience teaching for 15 years and then as a maternity care assistant was suffice for them and I had a relaxed interview. The family were slow in creating a promised contract but I also knew that it was a relaxed arrangement and they were great if I was ill and I was also paid when they went on holiday out of goodwill. It can work!

Unfortunately it came to an abrupt end at the first lockdown. I was promised pay for the rest of the month as the husband obviously was aware he had some duty as an ‘employer’ to perhaps recognise giving me notice. The payment never came. Kind of disappointing but also reflected the more relaxed approach we took. I was paid well and they were reasonable people! I didn’t have formal qualifications so was glad of the work and trust they gave me. It can work!

OP - from having experienced the other side of this I’d say maybe pay the week as a gesture of being the better person and then forget it! I would never have considered ‘taking it further’ when they didn’t pay as I knew it was a relaxed arrangement and there was no formal contract anyhow! All the best with nursery ❤️

@Alwaystalkingaboutpoo Were you self employed then ?