AIBU to still expect them to pay their share of the holiday?

[somethingunpredictable2012]

We have booked a holiday for 4 families (been booked and planned for over a year), however one couple have announced they are expecting and so won’t be coming on the holiday as baby will be 2/3 months old when holiday comes round so they don’t want to go. The couple have paid the deposit but the balance of the holiday is now due. They haven’t mentioned paying their share of the rest of the cost of the holiday and when asked about the holiday at the time of their pregnancy announcement they simply said “oh yeh, we won’t be coming now, which is a shame, but never mind there will be other holidays”. Their conception and pregnancy has been difficult (no one was aware they were even trying for a baby previous to the announcement) and so bringing up the money/holiday has been difficult due to the issues they have had as there never seems to be a good time. But with the balance of the holiday now due and myself and DH having booked the holiday we are liable for the full amount if the other couple don’t pay their agreed part of the holiday. (Lesson learned never to do that again!). One couple have already paid their share in full and don’t want to pay anymore to split the cost of the 4th couple not coming. The other couple think we should just split the cost between us and suck up the extra cost (£800) so as not to put any more pressure on the couple not coming. The couple have ignored all messages relating to paying the final payment, but DH thinks they should pay up and I should contact them directly and insist they pay their share as agreed. I hate confrontation and don’t want to add to their issues if they are having a difficult pregnancy, but at the same time I don’t think it’s fair they just assume we will all now pay their share, as that wasn’t the cost we all agreed to and we could have actually found somewhere smaller which would have been cheaper. Obviously trying for a baby isn’t always easy or predictable but they would have known this may happen when we booked the holiday, but didn’t mention anything and they seem to have just washed their hands of it like it’s no longer their problem it’s now ours to sort out. It’s obviously causing a lot of tension between everyone involved. What would you do? Is it unreasonable to still expect they pay their share even if they don’t want to come anymore?

Small claims court?

Absolutely contact them and ask them to pay their share. Understand they can't come but they cant expect you to pick up the cost for them. Only issue could be is if they "sell" their room to another couple you may not want to come but i assume that is unlikely.

I might be willing to pay a share of the £800 but definitely not all of it.

Get the person in the group who wants to pay nothing to contact them.

Right OP, time to get strong and stand your ground! Or you'll also piss off the other three families so it's time to decide which ones ...

Can you invite someone else?

The couple who no longer want to travel should still pay their share of the trip in full, that's the decent and moral thing to do.
There is nothing you can say or do to enforce this though, as from what I've gathered it's one booking, in your name, so that makes you legally liable for the entire cost if everyone else decides not to come.
I think it's a reasonable assumption to make that your friendship with them is over if they don't pay!
Lesson learned... when I make group bookings I only book when everyone involved has paid me in full in advance.

Having a difficult pregnancy doesn't absolve you from your responsibilities! And how dare you treat your friends this way? Are they aware that they not coming means that everyone else needs to fork out additional money for no extra benefit? Is that spelt out to them. I would confront them and be prepared to lose that friendship because I can't be friends with people who are so utterly selfish!

Can you / the remaining group find another couple to take their place, and only charge them the balance as the couple who dropped out have paid, and lost, their deposit

They should be doing that! I can't believe that these people would do that to their friends and not even feel that they need to remedy it themselves!

There will be other children there and we only found out they weren’t coming when one of our group said won’t it be lovely to have baby there and we can all pitch in to help etc and they replied with “oh yeh, we’re not coming”. At the time I waited for them to address the money side of things, but they never did and then moved on to other conversation and as there were other people there it would have made it a bit awkward to raise the issue at the time and I was really hoping they would acknowledge the issue it causes. The holiday is abroad and obviously it’s their choice to decide if they are ok with taking baby but it’s just the lack of thought for who will now cover their share.

I'd send a message to say who is going to cover the rest of your holiday cost?

Ouch.

In your shoes I'd make sure not to take on the whole burden of sorting this, whatever your husband says. And I'd be having words with him for being so unsupportive, but that's beside the point.

Make it clear in your phrasing that Cancelling Couple has dropped you all in it and it's up to the group to decide what to do. It's not your responsibility to find a solution and keep everybody happy.

I would go very passive aggressive, contact the cancelling couple separately and say, 'I'm in such a dilemma holiday wise! Obviously we can't afford to pay for your share now split between us but also we'd all lose our own separate deposits now if we cancel. What do you think is the solution so that people don't end up out of pocket?'
Put the issue on them so at least you have spelt it out

I would contact them along the lines of:

"Hi, I appreciate you've said that could no longer want to go on the holiday, but the balance is now due and your share is £800. Please could you transfer this ASAP as I cant afford to pay your share? It's up to you if you want to find someone to take your place, then they can pay you directly. We will also try and find a replacement too. Thanks x"

Have you booked the flights and accommodation through different companies?
Re what another poster said, insurance won't pay out as it's not an insurance reason, in theory the baby could travel though I understand why they don't want to go
Not sure how long you have known they aren't going, you should have done this straight away but why can't you send a message and say you have contacted the travel company to cancel them off and they have confirmed it will be 2 x loss of deposit and confirm that they have unfortunately told you the same balance is due so it's still x per couple so how do they want to pay their part?
I get why one couple are refusing to pay more but if they don't you are liable so I'd cancel the lot and they can get their deposit back via pregnancy couple

Definitely as above put this onto them, ask them for the money whilst THEY trawl around for a suitable couple or person that everyone knows and likes (but wasn't invited in the first place)

To be fair he did say he would speak to them, but he tends to take a bull in a china shop, hot headed approach and despite feeling like they have dropped us in it I don’t want to make it worse by him saying something he later regrets. So he said I should speak to them then. But I hate confrontation and it’s giving me sleepless nights about the right thing to do! But I think I’m going to have to find the courage somehow, or let him do it, as waiting for them to fix the issue isn’t exactly working! What was a dream holiday is turning into a bit of a nightmare and I really don’t want to lose friendships.

I think it’s really inconsiderate of them not to mention the money.
You have to be firm here.

It’s such a shame you don’t feel you want to come but I still need your payment. We did all agree to this when it was booked. Please send the outstanding balance asap as I have to pay it to the company.

If you cancel I guess you will all loose your deposits?
Do you know anyone else who would want to go?

What a nightmare, but they need to pay up. And not ruin everyone else’s holiday.

The other option I guess is if you booked via a travel form can you call them and see if you can switch your booking?

I think they should pay, but they won't

I suggest you cancel the trip. I'm assuming that losing your deposit will be cheaper than paying CF's share of the cost of the holiday

And sadly, I expect this will impact your friendship whatever the outcome. You'll resent them for the holiday not going ahead and losing your deposit. Or, you'll resent paying their share of the holiday

Another time, I'd insist on everyone's full share up front. Refusing to give a refund is far easier than demanding money

This is perfect 👍

"Dear Pregnant Couple,

We are all so happy for you guys and the pregnancy!!

I know it's probably the last thing on your mind right now but we need to resolve the holiday situation. When we booked, there was no mention of trying for a baby or that if you were successful you'd have to cancel, so we all booked with you and paid substantial deposits in good faith.

As you know we have all paid XXX deposit. We could cancel if you are happy to reimburse the rest of us our deposits.

Alternatively, would you prefer the cheaper option of paying your outstanding balance of £800?

We all love you guys and would love to cover your share if we could, but that's simply not an option for us all.

We'd still all love you to come!

Let us know what you want to do!"

Oh sweet lord they are unreal. i think all families need to meet face to face and thrash this out. The couple who have backed out need to pay, this needs to be made very clear to them. Unfortunately after this though i am sure your friendship has been destroyed by this. If they refuse and you cant get another couple to come, think you are going to have to cancel

if cant meet send them exactly what @CaffeinateMeNow says in a message

I know it sounds like I am smugly lecturing, but honestly these mega group trips staying in the one house/villa are a dangerous thing if one or more drop out and refuse to pay up their share. The other thing is the noise and lack of privacy. Just me and sorry for rubbing it in.

On the two occasions we have gone with family we booked separate apartments/lodges for each family or unit. Everyone responsible for their own booking and stay.

And I would take no prisoners on this one. Get the group that's left to agree a joint message to baby family to pay up or lose the friendship forever. It is just not on to do this.

Well the drop out couple are not being very good friends are they? So not sure if their friendship is one you want to keep

That's a good one from Caffeinate... I'd maybe also throw in as an intro, "we have been trying to find another couple to join us in the villa to cover your share of the rental but haven't had any luck"

I would begin by asking for the full balance, but in reality might be happy if the compromise suggested upthread were reached - the pregnant couple pay at least half of the balance for their holiday, and the remaining three couples split the difference, knowing that you'll all enjoy the extra room.