AIBU to still expect them to pay their share of the holiday?

[somethingunpredictable2012]

We have booked a holiday for 4 families (been booked and planned for over a year), however one couple have announced they are expecting and so won’t be coming on the holiday as baby will be 2/3 months old when holiday comes round so they don’t want to go. The couple have paid the deposit but the balance of the holiday is now due. They haven’t mentioned paying their share of the rest of the cost of the holiday and when asked about the holiday at the time of their pregnancy announcement they simply said “oh yeh, we won’t be coming now, which is a shame, but never mind there will be other holidays”. Their conception and pregnancy has been difficult (no one was aware they were even trying for a baby previous to the announcement) and so bringing up the money/holiday has been difficult due to the issues they have had as there never seems to be a good time. But with the balance of the holiday now due and myself and DH having booked the holiday we are liable for the full amount if the other couple don’t pay their agreed part of the holiday. (Lesson learned never to do that again!). One couple have already paid their share in full and don’t want to pay anymore to split the cost of the 4th couple not coming. The other couple think we should just split the cost between us and suck up the extra cost (£800) so as not to put any more pressure on the couple not coming. The couple have ignored all messages relating to paying the final payment, but DH thinks they should pay up and I should contact them directly and insist they pay their share as agreed. I hate confrontation and don’t want to add to their issues if they are having a difficult pregnancy, but at the same time I don’t think it’s fair they just assume we will all now pay their share, as that wasn’t the cost we all agreed to and we could have actually found somewhere smaller which would have been cheaper. Obviously trying for a baby isn’t always easy or predictable but they would have known this may happen when we booked the holiday, but didn’t mention anything and they seem to have just washed their hands of it like it’s no longer their problem it’s now ours to sort out. It’s obviously causing a lot of tension between everyone involved. What would you do? Is it unreasonable to still expect they pay their share even if they don’t want to come anymore?

Literally just booked a holiday with a friend of mine. She did the booking. If I cancel I will still have to pay her. Otherwise it's total cheeky-fuckery

So is their anyone else that could be invited to attend that would be acceptable to everyone, seems the easiest solution if their is!

If not then leave someone else to talk to this couple about it, like your husband. Maybe this couple need the straightforward approach if they haven't taken the hint already.

The reality is that they are liable for the cost, they agreed to go and agreed to pay that cost. By paying the deposit they effectively 'sealed the deal'. Whilst people can appreciate the reasons they have chosen to now not go that doesn't mean these other people should be burdened with the financial responsibilities of their decision.

Legally they aren’t liable.

Questionable !! By paying the deposit they have effectively entered into a contract with the other parties. But we are talking more morals than legal proceedings here, 'my lady'.

The other couple think we should just split the cost between us and suck up the extra cost (£800) so as not to put any more pressure on the couple not coming.

I've heard of this happening quite a lot when group holidays are booked so far in advance, and the other couple's suggestion above is really your only polite option.

I don't think the couple not coming are really in the wrong, they are just handling it really badly by not communicating with you all about - it's this that would make me question my friendship with them rather than the money itself.

Unleash the DH. They don't care what you think, so you need to stop worrying about the other way round.

Me too. The couple are being really rude. They should be offering to pay in full, they're pulling out. I certainly wouldn't be doing anything with them in the future.

This.

To me clearly they don't value your friendship. Or they live in some sort of dream world where they expect people to suck up these sorts of financial losses without any sort of consequence.

Despite what you may or may not think, these people are not your friends.

Friends simply don't do that to you, and you're just being a doormat if you are willing to let them get away with it without consequence.

If you want to find out who are your real friends, look to the couple who are willing to share the extra cost with you. These are the people that are saying :

"hey it's not fair that you should get dumped on with this because those people are being arseholes, and we're willing to share the consequences because we don't agree that you should get screwed over just for being willing to organise."

These are decent people - these are your friends.

They haven’t though. The deposit was relating to the contract with the provider. Which is you cancel you lose the deposit. Not that you cannot cancel because it’s a group booking.

I would doubt very much that each individual family paid deposits direct to the company, it would normally be dealt with by one person collecting the deposits centrally then paying it on behalf of the group. Regardless, their payment of the deposit is a clear indication to the rest of the group that they had planned to go and had accepted their proportion of the costs.

They don’t have to. That’s not how it works

You know you're using a lot of words just to say you don't know how life or money works.

They CAN'T cancel and lose the deposit. It isn't their booking. It's not theirs to cancel, or decide about the deposit.

Which bit of this are you so confused by?

That’s the point though. They can. All they have to do is not pay. And if the balance isn’t paid the holiday will be cancelled unless the other parties pay.

Also you’re missing they have cancelled. They’ve said they’re not going. How do you think the OP is going to get the money out of them?

They should pay up but if there’s nothing signed they can just walk away. If they don’t pay up then don’t speak to them again.

They REALLY can't. They literally can't, they have no contract with the provider to cancel. OP CAN cancel, if they can;t afford the balance. CF cannot.

You're not getting the basics here.

It wouldn't be hard to prove a contract between OP and CF'ers in a court. I doubt OP would bother, but it wouldn't be that hard to force payment.

There are 2 separate conto here

1 is op with villa company. Only she can cancel and she owes the money. (All if it) this will be in writing somewhere

2nd is an informal one between op and other 3 couples. Not in writing but there are some texts agreeing to pay deposits and a 4 way split.

So legally you could try and sue them in small claims for smaller of
Total deposit lost or total unpaid by them (£800) as you should mitigate your losses.

Regardless of whether you get the money or not, this friendship is doomed unfortunately. The only way I see the friendship being upheld is if they pay their part and are able to acknowledge that the money is theirs to pay and see it as fair. That does seem unlikely though as they have been ignoring your whatsapp messages - deliberately I would imagine.

For the above reason, I would set your DH on them and at least then you are not left short if he can do a good "bull in a china shop act" and have them pay their part of the accommodation costs.

What a waste of a good (I presume) friendship...

Balfour vbslfour is the leading case of trying to prove a legal contract existed (between married people)

You need to show there was an intention to create legal relations -so clear agreement ms on amount to pay and when due.

This is why if you ever loan money to friends or family you should definitely draw up a simple loan agreement of terms that you both sign and date.

No. You aren’t.

Unless there is a contract between the OP and the other party how do you think they’re going to enforce payment?

Yes. Get the holiday company to say that the balance has to be paid, in a letter with the facts and figures - really spells out how much they are making you all pay

Also. Doesn't the pp cost include airfair, airport transfers maybe insurance which is now no longer required. Surely this could be deducted, even if yo have to pay for their share of the villa. This might reduce the cost and also you'd have an extra room for some of the children. Remaining couples should all pay the excess as they will still be occupying the villa, just with one extra bedroom to share out.

Any updates OP?

Might be a controversial opinion… but when booking, all 4 couples knew that
if one of more couple dropped out the cost for the others would increase… it’s the risk you agree to when booking.
so the other 3 couples can either : ask the couple that have dropped out to pay up their share (which I doubt they’ll pay!).. but then if couple 4 days no, the other 3 couples have a choice of coughing up the extra £267 each OR the holiday is cancelled and everyone looses their deposits!

Exactly this….
if you think they’ve turned off notifications for the group chat then set up a new one titled ‘payment now due’ add all 4 couples to it and state
couple 4 are you still lying the remaining cost of your holiday? And tag them!…
if they don’t reply in 24 hours then you state…
We are at a loss of £800 because x & y have dropped out, unfortunately I can not afford to saddle this cost alone…. Do we now cancel the holiday and loose our deposits or is each remaining couple happy to pay a further £266 each to secure the holiday?? Then put it back to the other couples asking if anyone has any other alternative suggestions

paying not lying