AIBU to still expect them to pay their share of the holiday?

[somethingunpredictable2012]

We have booked a holiday for 4 families (been booked and planned for over a year), however one couple have announced they are expecting and so won’t be coming on the holiday as baby will be 2/3 months old when holiday comes round so they don’t want to go. The couple have paid the deposit but the balance of the holiday is now due. They haven’t mentioned paying their share of the rest of the cost of the holiday and when asked about the holiday at the time of their pregnancy announcement they simply said “oh yeh, we won’t be coming now, which is a shame, but never mind there will be other holidays”. Their conception and pregnancy has been difficult (no one was aware they were even trying for a baby previous to the announcement) and so bringing up the money/holiday has been difficult due to the issues they have had as there never seems to be a good time. But with the balance of the holiday now due and myself and DH having booked the holiday we are liable for the full amount if the other couple don’t pay their agreed part of the holiday. (Lesson learned never to do that again!). One couple have already paid their share in full and don’t want to pay anymore to split the cost of the 4th couple not coming. The other couple think we should just split the cost between us and suck up the extra cost (£800) so as not to put any more pressure on the couple not coming. The couple have ignored all messages relating to paying the final payment, but DH thinks they should pay up and I should contact them directly and insist they pay their share as agreed. I hate confrontation and don’t want to add to their issues if they are having a difficult pregnancy, but at the same time I don’t think it’s fair they just assume we will all now pay their share, as that wasn’t the cost we all agreed to and we could have actually found somewhere smaller which would have been cheaper. Obviously trying for a baby isn’t always easy or predictable but they would have known this may happen when we booked the holiday, but didn’t mention anything and they seem to have just washed their hands of it like it’s no longer their problem it’s now ours to sort out. It’s obviously causing a lot of tension between everyone involved. What would you do? Is it unreasonable to still expect they pay their share even if they don’t want to come anymore?

That isn’t sufficient. Particularly when part of the conversation will have been about signing up to a contract where if you choose to cancel you just lose your deposit. Not that you’re expected to pay the entire holiday in full. This is the risk with group bookings and a good reason for always booking holidays where payment is made up front and non refundable. There will be no clause that all parties have to agree to cancellation either.

it’s poor form for sure and I would pay if I was pulling out but I wouldn’t have to.

I think that they should lose their deposit as it’s now their choice not to go (for understandable reasons), but if there isn’t a replacement couple that want to go, then the other parties should share the rest of the cost.
lesson learned… unfortunately.

But why should other couples have to shoulder the cost of their change of mind ?

The likelihood is that other families will have to, or cancel and they all lose their deposit, but when you enter into a group booking, you know it's not just yourselves that you are impacting.

I've learned my lesson the hard way, I refuse to even share a room on holiday with friends now unless it's one particular friend that I trust to put ethics above personal finances.

Surely the best way forward is to have a meeting in person with all the adults concerned (including Mr & Mrs New baby) to explain the options - first (and best) is that they still pay up their full amount which keeps the friendship AND gives them the option of having a lovely holiday if they change their minds once the baby is born. We took our first baby overseas for 2 weeks when he was 2.5 months old and we all absolutely loved it. The break / change of scenery for us was great, we had help from friends and family on hand which we don't have in the UK and babies are very portable so we could get out and do loads of stuff just as we would have done pre-children. Anyway, then the next option is that you all try to find another couple willing to take their place, and the third option is that no-one takes their place and either they pay up anyway as agreed or you all have to pay extra. I'm sure if they hear it out like that they won't want to make their friends pay more - they're probably just wrapped up in the pregnancy bubble at the moment and haven't really considered the impact to their friends of not paying.

I think your friends need to pay up. They made a commitment to you all and it’s their choice not to come but it affects everyone.

We had something similar but we weren’t going abroad, it was cheaper and it was a group of girlfriends. We had booked a house and all
paid a deposit. Due to various reasons, a couple
of people dropped out meaning that the cost for everyone else would increase - but also meant that for some, the holiday became too expensive for a cheap weekend away with the girls. In the end, the organiser paid for the ones who dropped out but some of us gave her some money towards it. I was very much of the thinking that the ones who dropped out should still pay as they knew it would affect the price for others. It also made me realise that for joint things like this, full cost should be taken at the time of booking and/or to be explicit within the group that if you can’t make it, you need to still pay or find a replacement.

Other than would this accommodation have been booked if they weren’t going?

If it’s a Villa type holiday they need to pay their share. Like you said you’ll lose the booking otherwise. Why should you and the other couples cover it.

I was just thinking that if you explain the situation to the holiday company they might help by writing to the withdrawing couple, stating how much their part of the balance is and the final payment date. This would save OP from having to confront them herself. It is in the holiday company’s interest for the property let to go ahead and sometimes I have found them to be helpful if you ‘ask nicely’!

Honestly, I very much doubt it. OP is on the hook to pay the balance or to cancel, in which case the company can keep the deposit and remarket the villa - possibly at a higher price since OP has looked for alternatives and not found them.

They are behaving really badly. It's their decision not to come so they need to pay the entire cost of their holiday so the other three families aren't out of pocket.

Could you ask another couple to go instead?

Don’t pay up. This happened to us and I nearly paid their balance (their newborn was seriously ill in hospital so didn’t want to cause them additional stress) but didn’t at the last minute and just told the holiday company they couldn’t make it.

The company (Thomas Cook a while back) said they/we were liable for the costs and we had to pay. Anyway, nothing ever happened, the rest of us went away and nothing was ever chased up. I’d wait for demand notices before paying their share, you might find they never come.

Sorry just saw it’s a villa, that changes things I would imagine

You're worrying about your DH causing friction if he speaks with them - he won't be causing any friction - THEY'VE ALREADY CAUSED IT.

Sadly, unless they pay up, the friendship is over. It may not happen straight away but it will completely change the relationship. It's not even about the money. It's their attitude.

I wouldn't continue a friendship with someone so blatantly entitled who onviously doesn't give a second thought to others. 3 other families with children. What of you couldn't afford to cover their costs and had to cancel? Would they still not pay?

You need to let DH call them and directly tell them to transfer £x to your account

CFs to the max.

@somethingunpredictable2012
Can they just not lose their deposit?
I know, just from previous experience, that you only lose the deposit if you cancel.
Obviously different companies have different rules, and I don't know what the rules are in your case.
I'm guessing that you do have to pay, hence you wouldn't have asked.
Personally, and this is just me, but I would not pay for anyone else's share. It isn't fair to expect that of you.
As others have said, a 2-3 month old can go away on holiday, they're just choosing not to (which I do get).
However, it is their choice not to go, and so I think you ANBU in asking them to pay for the holiday they no longer wish to go on.

This.

@NatM70 no, because all four couples have paid towards the one villa deposit and now the balance is due. Either everyone loses their deposit if the booking is cancelled, or the full payment must be made by the booker (which is OP)

@SheilaFentiman
What a pickle.
I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for my cancelled holiday.
I think they're being unreasonable if they refuse.
My my op.

This has gone to 16 pages! These people are friends you were going to share a villa with, but no one can ring them up and tell them they need to cough up!
For goodness sake! That’s how CF’s get away with it.

Do you want to pay an extra £800? No? Then talk to them! If you don’t want to get hubby to do it.

Hi guys great news about the baby. Sorry you don’t feel able to join us at the villa. You will still need to pay for it and the balance of £800 is due now. If you change your mind you would still be welcome to come. The other option is you pay everyone else’s deposits and we cancel. Your choice but we all agreed to this and we can’t afford to pay your share. But either way we need to get this sorted today.

Thats all it takes.
If they refuse to pay then you have to think about cancelling and loosing your deposits, which would affect all of you or splitting the £800 between you. Which one couple have already said no to. Personally, if they refuse to cough up, I would cancel the holiday and loose the deposit. But you need to get in with this or you will be liable for the whole cost.

Sadly I think the friendship has gone already so I would be blunt as needed.

Only if its your own booking, just for you. You decide not to go, you cancel, you lose your deposit.

But this is not their booking, its OP's. They can't cancel. The others are still going. They made an agreement to go on the holiday, there is no option to cancel and just lose the booking. The only option is to pay.

You can't be actually serious? Do you really not see that they owe the balance?

Are they replying to other messages OP? They're hoping it'll all blow over and be magically sorted if they keep quiet. But it'll just cause more resentment and this might be the end of the friendship.

Do YOU find it impossible to realise when you owe money because you can't read people's minds?
Do you only realise when you have an obligation if someone spells it out to you?

Give your head a wobble, eh. They're blatantly taking the piss.

I’d send in the bull in the china shop

It doesn’t work like that I’m afraid, if a person decides to cancel there’s not much you can do. The terms of the contract with the provider stand unless you’ve reached a separate agreement.

it’s not about what I think, if it was me I would absolutely pay, it’s what you can enforce in law. You cannot make them pay, you would have to go through the courts and they would refer back to the original contract which is a cancellation means loss of deposit. The only exception to this would be if the parties had come to an enhanced agreement which it doesn’t sound like they have. This is precisely why whenever I do a group booking I make everyone pay up front and state clearly no refunds.

THIS!

The amount of friendships I've known to break down over these group 'holidays' has put me off ever wanting to book/go on one.

This.

They should pay what they owe.

Their change of circumstances and choice has nothing to do with you.

Really shabby behaviour.

Clearly they place zero value on the relationships involved.

Very short sighted.