Can we start a poverty solidarity thread?

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

It often feels like MN is a different world and I can't actually talk to anyone in real life as people either don't get it or assume I'm trying to gain sympathy or ask for money.

I cannot wait until payday. Things I am doing without right now

• petrol
• squash
• milk
• biscuits
• shampoo

So worried that I'll need to drive somewhere and have to explain that I have no petrol. Currently walking everywhere. I know it's partly my fault as I went a bit far on the last payday and bought a shed, but obviously no one is going to offer me a 0% interest or repayment scheme due to my credit. Wish I could budget better. I think these dry spells make it worse though. You live with weeks with nothing and then my wages come in and I go a bit crazy. Another downside of being skint. Could ask father of children but I can't take the smugness. He took them out for pizza last night and they brought some home! Ravenously ate it in the kitchen whilst they weren't looking. It's mad that this is the reality. No one knows. I have a full time job, nice house, car in drive, dress well (charity shops), the kids look ok. How no one gets what it's like, waking up to nothing in the bank, dry cereal, panicking about if there's a non school uniform day. Please let me know what's going on for you so I don't feel so alone!

How important was it to buy a shed??

I absolutely feel your pain.

I feel like I am constantly skint. I cannot afford to run a car so I have to walk or bus everywhere. Am on day 3 of dry shampoo. Hey child benefit this week so at least I can buy some essentials.

To get to work I have to walk due to my start time and the fact there are no busses. It takes an hour and forty mins each way. Then the same at home time as there are no busses (due to the time I start and finish).

I've thought a new job might be a good idea, one more locally but they pay minimum wage and mine pays above. Only part time due to kids ages.

I can't remember when I last bought any treats. I've got a tooth that desperately needs removing but I can't afford it. I'm tired all the fucking time due to walking everywhere and I dread the kids needing something.

I have a husband who works but our outgoings (mortgage, council tax, utilities etc) have always been high due to where we live and now they are even higher so he can't help much either.

I think there are many living in real poverty. Buying a shed then being short of money as a result sounds more like a cash flow problem. If you have a poor credit rating, what will happen if you face an unexpected expense like a major car repair?

You are not alone. I work a full time job as an administrator and am struggling big time. Thankfully my children are grown and almost independent. Youngest DD is expected home this month after finishing uni and I'm prayibg she can make a financial contribution as soon as she gets a job.
I downsized last year, greatly reducing my mortgage obligation but any gain I have made has been swallowed up by the COL. I also moved job to move up the payscale so am doing what I can to improve my finances. I had two hospital appointments yesterday and was calculating which would be cheaper, car or bus. I didn't buy myself a coffee when I got there early. All these things I had previously taken for granted. Thankfully this month my employer has issued all staff a food voucher and this will see me through otherwise I would be in the same position. I live in fear of office birthdays, contribution requests and no longer drop spare change in charity boxes or tins into the foodbank baskets. Life is moving quickly from being pretty joyless to downright worrying.

I understand. Living on retirement income. Check arrives first of the month.

1. Tax bill just arrived. It is up 20%. I have no way to save that much even if nothing happens and something will.

2.Washing machine is broken. Have a warranty but it costs $75 for them to come inspect and I don't have that much. 3.Gathered up all the change everywhere in the house, rolled it and sent my son to the bank to turn it in. That will get him half a tank of gas to get to work and back this week. He gets paid weekly and can then buy his own gas. 4.Walking frame broke. Son repaired it with duct tape but it won't last much longer. Trying to earn enough doing surveys to get a new one and hoping it lasts until I do. 5.The dogs need their teeth cleaned (and I need dental care too) but can't afford costs. Before anyone says I can't afford the dogs and to get rid of them just SHUT UP NOW because the dogs and my son are the only things that keep me sane most days.

I don't know what else to call it, I mean being skint month after month, having money for one day of the month before the bills come out? I needed a shed to store our bikes so they're not in our kitchen all the time. Apologies if this seems dramatic.

@BrokeAssMum I feel you. It's just so joyless. I'm moving to a job further away for a pay rise but won't be able to walk or cycle (45 minute drive) and after petrol, I'll end up probably with the same take home pay. It's exhausting!

@Devilinthedetail82 haha you're right, how I'd long for that smugness of a cheap day out now

@charabang hope you get something nice with that food voucher!

@roundcork to retrain so I might finally be able to support myself without benefits.

@Welcometotheterrorzone yes that's it. Joyless. Soul destroying. My physical and mental health are struggling as a result. Luckily the children are fine as everything they need is covered first.

We got a 2 week holiday in the summer as a Christmas present from our family. I cannot wait for this. No grinding misery about money. 2 weeks of saving on all our usual expenses. Hopefully I can clear my overdraft

@BrokeAssMum you truly deserve it. I hope you manage to save some cash so you're not worrying about money when you're there. Same with the kids, mine are fine. Picked up some free toys on the weekend on FB so they feel really spoiled this week!

I’m sorry OP. Life is sad when you buy a presumably fairly cheap shed and you’re accused of not living in poverty enough.
It’s head down and power through time. Focus on the positives, on your children. Fine new free days out, walk. Bikes are good as you can get further from home without cost.
It’s rubbish but it will get better.

Don't listen to the idiots next time they'll be on telling you 'how dare you have bikes' and a space for a shed 🙄 like low income people should have zero fucking joy for their kids. Not to mention biking is a nearly free way to get about that's healthy!

I've lived like this for years it is souls destroying. We've managed to escape it just about now as we both got promotions but I found your post so familiar.

We used to pick up change and buy a home brand bar of chocolate for 30p as a treat!

Try and find joy where you can. I use to make my payday treat as cheap as possible but that would last, a nice scented candle from B and M I could light in the evening or a slightly more luxurious shower gel so I could feel like showers were pamper time ❤️

You can sometimes get unwanted gift packs of things like that unopened in charity shops really cheap

I wasn't going as far as saying that the OP was doing that. I think that's a cruel interpretation. I just wondered about the cash expenditure on the shed given that it's caused really significant hardship for the rest of the month and what she'd do if her car broke down.

Even now there are significant variations of poverty though, but it's miserable to be experiencing them whatever the variation.

I’m sorry OP. Life is sad when you buy a presumably fairly cheap shed and you’re accused of not living in poverty enough.

This, basically.

The world seems rough as hell out there, I am sorry for everyone who is struggling or feeling overwhelmed or depressed with everything.

I think the thing is with being on a low income is that there might never be a 'good month' for you to make a bigger purchase. A lot of times, it's just about taking the hit and knowing that the rest of the month will be hard. I'm not going to make a £200 purchase and then go to food banks. I'll just suck it up.

You need to try and stop going crazy when your wages come, get a spreadsheet and log everything, really be tight with your budget and see if you can make it last a little longer.

I get what you mean OP, although I do make sure I can cover food for the rest of the month. Biscuits are essential with my tea. Do you have a local food surpless? Might be worth a look. It's not a food bank, it's to reduce waste. Anyone can use it. Mumsnet is full of wealthy people and it can make you feel a bit rubbish if your not.

You need to force yourself to stick to a budget. You need to forecast for the month when your wage comes in. Do a cash envelope system if it’s the only thing that will stop you impulse buying or going over budget.
In this case you should have bought the shed next month at the earliest, paying for it out of two pay cheques.
Buying a shed and then not being able to afford milk and your children having dry cereal for half the month is ridiculous.

I feel for you.

Reading between lines, I think your kids are ok.
It is you that is not.

What would you advise you to do?
I wouldnt begrudge you a shed.

I would read up on some budgeting threads.

I’m in my overdraft for the first time in 4 years, we are not in poverty but things are getting worse for us. I have only one year left of full nursery fees and I’m trying to hang on without raiding my help to buy isa.