Can we start a poverty solidarity thread?

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

It often feels like MN is a different world and I can't actually talk to anyone in real life as people either don't get it or assume I'm trying to gain sympathy or ask for money.

I cannot wait until payday. Things I am doing without right now

• petrol
• squash
• milk
• biscuits
• shampoo

So worried that I'll need to drive somewhere and have to explain that I have no petrol. Currently walking everywhere. I know it's partly my fault as I went a bit far on the last payday and bought a shed, but obviously no one is going to offer me a 0% interest or repayment scheme due to my credit. Wish I could budget better. I think these dry spells make it worse though. You live with weeks with nothing and then my wages come in and I go a bit crazy. Another downside of being skint. Could ask father of children but I can't take the smugness. He took them out for pizza last night and they brought some home! Ravenously ate it in the kitchen whilst they weren't looking. It's mad that this is the reality. No one knows. I have a full time job, nice house, car in drive, dress well (charity shops), the kids look ok. How no one gets what it's like, waking up to nothing in the bank, dry cereal, panicking about if there's a non school uniform day. Please let me know what's going on for you so I don't feel so alone!

Or do go crazy. Have all the bills you can set to come out shortly after payday. Fill the car, fill the cupboards and fridge-freezer (with food that will last). Keep money aside for fruit and veg, milk, eggs, bread, anything that doesn't last a month. Keep money for more petrol if needed. I find it easier just to spend the money, prices may be higher next week anyway. As long as you are spending on things you will need then spend.

@Sissynova I would just take the cash out of the envelopes... I don't see how anyone doesn't.
I think you can be low income and bad with money. The two are not mutually exclusive. I am not just on a low income and I do not struggle solely because I'm bad with money. I have two children a car and a mortgage, I earn £1400, I get £250 UC. Most would struggle but some would struggle less with better budgeting. I guess the decision is whether you want a week of slight frivolity and then three or four weeks of misery or just a month of milder misery.

@headstone you can do this! Have you asked your employer for help with childcare costs?

I'd ask for this thread to be moved to CoL or even Chat. AIBU is a race to the bottom these days.
Hope things get better for you.

That's not what I meant, I dont consider that going crazy. That's stocking up on everything you need. I mean going crazy with things that were not needed, luxuries, meals out, unnecessary spending....

I think the OP is looking for sympathy and solidarity, not lectures with useless advice on ‘learning how to budget with spreadsheets’ from sanctimonious posters.

Have any of you ever tried living with bikes in a kitchen? She needed a shed.

OP I have been where you are. I remember the dread and tense feeling in the run up to payday that some unexpected expense would arrive that I just couldn’t cover. Knowing the price of absolutely everything in the supermarket. Feeling like I lived on a different planet from other people at work in terms of financial situation. No patronising advice from me, just acknowledgement that it is really hard and is a reality or has been a reality for many of us.

My fridge is low on fresh stuff this month. We have tins and freezer stuff that can last but it’s a week till payday and I’ll be popping to the community kitchen today to see what they have in.
items are 50p or £1 and it makes a difference!
Bills are paid and I get a bus pass through work.

If anyone knew I was in my overdraft I’d be mortified but payrise is being applied this month so my income will stretch a bit further going forward! Fingers crossed!
UC uplift is due too!

Im not going to pretend to be struggling, but even I have noticed the price rises. I’ve always operated off a budget but rebudgeting is near constant as food, utiliies and other costs are shooting up.

Do you have a community larder nearby? It’s not a Food Bank - it’s where people can drop off food near use by dates so it won’t be wasted.

Dammit, meant to quote Headstone

PS Have you tried the app togoodtogo if you live in a big-ish city? They often do surprise shopping bags from coop or spar which contain £15 or so of groceries for about £5. If you don’t have dietary requirements they can be a good way of saving money?

Another app is Olio where people list free food, if they’re going away on holiday and clearing their fridge, shops like Pret also put unsold stock on there - all free.

I'd have bought a tarpaulin in this situation.

@Violetsrosesandchocolate are you serious?

useless advice on ‘learning how to budget with spreadsheets’ from sanctimonious posters.

Useless advice? I was skint and got a spreadsheet and literally watched everything to see what my issue was, it showed me the unnecessary spend what I could cut back on, it helped me weekly shop within a budget as I knew it was all I had. I also used to go crazy on payday like the OP states and then had nothing for 3 weeks. That no longer happens.

Not sure what part of that makes me sanctimonious, I was just offering advice that worked for me.

We had to move in March, we lost another rented house, but, thankfully in the grand scheme got a council place. Moving still cost me £1000.

Im a student nurse, i work 39.5 hour weeks on placement, im too exhausted to pick up more paid shifts as a hca, i have my dissertation and another assignment due in a few weeks and no time to do them and work and keep up my placement hours.

Im currently sleeping on a floor. One of my children is on a sofa. We have no curtains or blinds in any rooms. We have no furniture, clothes are in cases, belongings in boxes.

My last student loan was early jan, my next is mid june. Im £1800 over drawn, i have £200 left but get change over £1 a day for the overdraft. The UC i get monthly covers the rent and thats it. That £200 needs to cover other bills, food, and electric thats £50 a week as i live in a property with no gas supply.

My daughters school shoes broke, shes in trainers, school are not understanding this at all and pressuring me to buy shoes for her.

I applied to uni hardship fund, twice, and was declined. They offered me a loan but it needs repaying before i get finance.

Im flat broke. Not even going without a few luxuries. We, thats including the kids, are going without everything.

We've been skint since our children were born and our eldest is now 12. Before then, I had savings and everything yet now we live in our overdrafts but are very slowly clawing our way out of debt with the help of family and with budgeting.

Dh was made redundant after the first lockdown and because our childminder also stopped working and we couldn't find another, he now stays home to look after them. He's also on the sick due to depression and anxiety.

It does feel like things are beginning to feel less tight for us though since we now claim UC, our DLA application for dc1 was successful and I'm getting fairly regular work. I'm still overdrawn though. There have been times in the last few months where we have had to go hungry and our dc have had to have those cheap pasta in sauce sachets for tea because the cupboards were otherwise empty.

I learned how to sew and have been mending our clothes as much as possible in order to avoid having to buy new. Dc1’s trousers have been altered twice - we were given them as hand-me-downs and I took them up. He then shot up after Christmas so I took them down again. It would feel like such a luxury to be able to just go and buy some new ones!

It's shit when you have to explain and justify a big purchase such as a shed and as you said op, if you waited until you can afford it, you'd never be able to get it, even if it's something that would make your life much easier.

I know, I meant go crazy in a different way as having the money sitting around doesn't work for some people.

OP have you looked for any free budgeting courses on google? Buying a shed and then not being able to afford absolute necessities like milk isn’t great (though I do get it, I can easily spend money I don’t have if I’m not careful!).

OP is what is called, 'just getting by' rather than poverty, ok until something come along that she needs, like the shed and it did sound like she needed it and then it all goes tits up. There will be a lot of people like OP, many propped up by things like Klarna, high interest credit cards and Next Directory if they can get credit

You would be better in the Credit Crunch topic I think.

On AIBU you will get judgement and people will say it is not 'real' poverty if you have eaten today.

But I think you should have a solidarity thread, we were skint for some time and it was hard work. Budgeting really helps.

Ignore those judging, they are cunts.

for you @MyNewWittyUserName

You can take the lack of money this month and learn from it. Next time you need a large purchase check freebie websites. Put a little money away each month instead, that's a good thing to do anyway. Set yourself a goal of how much of an emergency fund you need then live on the basics until you have it. If you need to dip into it go back to the basics until you have recouped it. You can have £6000 before it starts to affect your Universal Credit so aim for a little under that maybe. Saving money can become addictive and it's a good habit to have! Next time you can have that shed without any guilt or hardship.

Really?! How is that going to keep the bikes safe? If you keep them under a tarpaulin and they get nicked, they wouldn't be covered by the insurance as they weren't kept secure; the op would then have the much bigger cost of replacing the bikes and be less able to get about.

We are not 'in poverty' so I hope no one minds me posting... we are gradually sinking, I think a lot of people are. The cost of living crisis is real. We are two adults, three DC aged between 9 and 12 and a cat. We have a baby on the way, which no doubt makes us terribly irresponsible. Our food bills are around £200 a week, we eat mostly vegetarian and we're not buying loads of luxury stuff. I have no idea how to get this down any further, and we don't seem to really get a lot considering it's £200!

It does feel like some people have the attitude that it's acceptable for others to be scraping by and watching every penny. There is enough wealth in this country - somehow we have normalised people not being able to buy school shoes for their kids. It's all 'in my day, we made do' - are people really advocating a return to this? What is life if we can barely afford the essentials, let alone the odd treat?

Anyway sorry, rant over. I feel for you.

I've been in similar situations and although yes things like the shed are needed, they're not a priority in comparison to food, utilities, rent etc.

I lived without any sort of kitchen table or proper chairs for three months before. I sat eating all my meals on a beanbag! I needed a kitchen table and chairs but I needed food and warmth more. Bikes in the kitchen is annoying but it's nothing compared to being hungry.

What I would do at the start of the month is make sure all bills are paid, you've done as big a food shop as possible while leaving budget for top ups later in the month and only then start looking at other needs like the shed. It's shit but for me that was the only way to survive.

Definitely look out for larders/kitchens. Often free but some are a small fee. Our local area Facebook is always posting about them open to all and everyone. Various ones on different days in different locations.

Ignore the your not that poor because you managed to get a shed to keep your bike safe thus saving money overall.

I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say to people like yourself and the OP but I just wanted to acknowledge how shit that is and how I really hope nurses get the double digit rise they deserve so that once you qualify perhaps life might get easier. x