Can we start a poverty solidarity thread?

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

It often feels like MN is a different world and I can't actually talk to anyone in real life as people either don't get it or assume I'm trying to gain sympathy or ask for money.

I cannot wait until payday. Things I am doing without right now

• petrol
• squash
• milk
• biscuits
• shampoo

So worried that I'll need to drive somewhere and have to explain that I have no petrol. Currently walking everywhere. I know it's partly my fault as I went a bit far on the last payday and bought a shed, but obviously no one is going to offer me a 0% interest or repayment scheme due to my credit. Wish I could budget better. I think these dry spells make it worse though. You live with weeks with nothing and then my wages come in and I go a bit crazy. Another downside of being skint. Could ask father of children but I can't take the smugness. He took them out for pizza last night and they brought some home! Ravenously ate it in the kitchen whilst they weren't looking. It's mad that this is the reality. No one knows. I have a full time job, nice house, car in drive, dress well (charity shops), the kids look ok. How no one gets what it's like, waking up to nothing in the bank, dry cereal, panicking about if there's a non school uniform day. Please let me know what's going on for you so I don't feel so alone!

Everyone manages money differently. Some use envelopes, some use spreadsheets. I pay off all my bills at the beginning of the month when my check comes in. Electric, gas, water, phone, a monthly grocery shop ($400), then some on my credit cards. I "splurge" on a life insurance policy to provide for my son in case the stress gets me. Whatever money is left goes on gas for his truck. (There are no buses in our county, no trains in our state and his work is 20 miles away!) When he isn't working he is taking on-line Uni courses and helping me at home. He cleans, cooks, and is an unpaid carer. His girlfriend broke up with him because he never had any money to take her out or buy her gifts. His only outlet is the church youth group and mine is our dogs who keep me company when he is gone. When he leaves the house I turn off the lights and the fans and skip meals during the day. And still it is like sinking into quicksand - the more you struggle the faster you sink.

No I'm not going to "pipe down". Why do you think your comments are more valid?
Please tell me one thing I have said that wasn't respectful or in keeping with the discussion...

I was responding to a poster who suggested you needed a computer and expensive software to budget!
That is so far from reality. Hundreds of thousands of people across the country would be much better off if they took some time to practice budgeting techniques, particularly from the likes of Dave Ramsey.

You don't need a computer to budget, you don't need excel, you don't need anything fancy. Most people have a phone with a calculator already and if thet don't like using an app they can just use a notepad.

I did a monthly paper budget for years and it helped massively.

I don't subscribe to the 'well too bad guess I'm too poor to budget because I don'y have a computer' It isn't helpful and it doesn't lift people out of their current situation.

@Sissynova exactly ,I grew up with my mum writing everything down in a book, which she does to this day,any money in ,any money out she was exactly aware of what was going on. The challenge with online banking now is that money is no longer as “real” so it’s far easier to spend it.

OP, I know what you mean, I think.

We are not at the stage you are at, but our life has become increasingly miserable over the last few years.

Two decent wage earners, one child, one dog.

I find my overdraft is increasing every month, and every month one extra thing that is ' nice' has to go.

What I find hard to take is that there is no money left for savings or to pay for a week abroad, something that on our wages was possible five or six years ago.

It's not poverty as such - there's always food in the cupboards ( although of a reduced quality) , and the odd night out here and there.

If we didn't do a single social thing, no treats - just living mega frugal - all month we could probably save £200.

Just writing it down sounds stupidly entitled, but if this is what is happening to us, God knows how people on a lot less than us are coping.

Because kind (or naive) MNetters send goods and money to people who post about being poor.

I'm not sure how often it happens now but it happened a lot in the past, and some people were outed as scammers.

So some posters are wary and MNHQ send out the standard warning.

I think that’s really common at the moment ,it’s actually easier to come from a low income background even if you then earn more in later life as when times get hard again you don’t forget the lessons you learnt when there was very little to go around. For those affected by the cost of living crisis many are going from an income that allows spontaneous spending to having to tighten their belts and that’s a lot more challenging. I imagine for many parents who split up its even more difficult to give up a lifestyle that you had as a couple and become a single parent.if you recognise that your income is shrinking its a good time to sit down and go through all your spending and try to decide your family priorities.

I understand why OP bought the shed. When you live month to month you can't really save up. There's not usually enough left over to save anything substantial. It could take years to save for a shed if all you can put away is a few quid a month and you usually have to dip into it every few months to buy unplanned essentials like school shoes etc. Of course, in those circumstances, it's more than tempting to think "fuck it, I'm buying the shed and we'll figure it out later."

I've done it before, and I'm sure hundreds of others have. I don't think OP actually chose between milk and shampoo and a shed.

Oh, another tip, if you have a salon supply shop within reach go and buy shampoo and conditioner by the gallon. A gallon of generic salon shampoo around here costs roughly £25 and will last for at least 6 months.

I feel for you OP. We rarely have any spare money. DD has been trying for almost a year to get a part time job which mean she wouldn't need to ask us for money all the time as we just can't afford it.
I can't go and see my elderly parents much as petrol is too expensive and going by bus would be impossible.
Food is stupidly expensive. We buy the basic range but still struggle. Nursery fees for DS are ridiculous and although I get more than the fees cost it's not by much.
We get working tax credits and child benefit but it just doesn't go very far and I really worry about an unexpected bill coming our way

It is definitely different with so many things being online and paid by card etc!

I'm a massive fan of banks like Monzo that let you separate everything out into different pots. You can split all your money immediately on pay day, put the amount for all your direct debits into one pot, food and daily spending goes in another, it is better if you split this to weekly or at least by weekly as it is easier to not go over if it isn't available, and so on and so on. The more pots the better imo!
So many people struggle with visualising how much money they actually have for the money when their bills all come out on different dates, so you might have hundreds in your account but really only £90 is spare or for food or whatever.

I think your post was exactly what the OP was looking for, a bit of human solidarity.

Sadly, this thread is peppered by 'that's not poverty' twats and self-declared 1%-ers who think that because buying a shed isn't priority for them... blah blah. Sickening.

But anyway, thanks for your post, Lovemylaminator, I thought it so articulate.

My parents done exactly same! All money in and out was written down in a book. Anything spare at the end of the week after bills were paid (paid weekly at the time) was saved to go towards anything that they would be saving towards/Christmas/birthdays/house maintenance etc, they continued this throughout their lives. Never needed spreadsheets etc!

Also, ItWillWash's post and Emeraldrings', thank goodness for them. I'm sure I've missed a few but they're drowned out by moronic, tone-deaf posts.

I completely understand - dh and I have been in the same situation it was good or fuel to get to work (no public transport)

It’s so fucking hard and the daily grind really gets you down! I don’t begrudge you buying the shed as previous posters have said you’d never be able to save up for one.

💐 for you op.it's shite isn't it?
Things do improve,nothing stays the same forever.can you get any old stuff together to do a car boot sale nearby that you could wheelbarrow stuff to or advertise as a job lot for a car booter to collect from you just to get you a bit of cash for milk and basics?
I've been in your shoes many times and ,it may sound daft,but I kept the positives in my mind,like health,ability to improve things and anything else that was a plus.
Keep thinking of the future you want,it's denying it out to the universe.🌈

Sending not denying 😀🌻

Same. We are VERY fortunate that DH inherited our house. And when he lost his job in October and a couple of years of poor health to contend with, at least we knew that with a roof over our heads and my salary to pay groceries, we were in a better position than many. We struggled in the recession before we inherited the house so I know that I can be frugal - but I also remember how grinding and demoralising that frugality can be.

This month I'm broke two weeks before payday. We had DS's birthday, so gift, party etc. Plus DH is hoping to start work again so we had to get a car. I logged my spending to a tracker and I can see where I thought I was being moderate but really, I made a few poor choices. But thanks to my spreadsheet, I've now a list of online subscriptions to cull to the minimum, I'm going to make a takeaway a less frequent treat for us, and save on lunches by bringing my own, and be much more careful with impulse purchases. But again, compared to many, we are lucky!

I've booked my hair appointment as my treat for after I get paid for mid June. My roots were last done in December, so I'm telling myself that a bi-annual haircut and colour is a reasonable treat... but still feel really guilty!

Just a note to let anyone know who is revieving DLA for a child. You are now entitled to a pretty good raise in child tax credits (approx £400 or more a month)

We weren't told this when our DS began receiving DLA and it took a while for a friend to let me know so it's not done automatically- but omg it really really helped, especially as DS's disability cost a lot in extra daily bits and pieces.

Hope I'm not showing anyone how to suck eggs but just in case...

I've been here and luckily now am doing OK, I run a 2nd hand clothing business so if anyone needs anything specific please DM as I may have what you need and can post to you at my expense. I wouldn't have got through life 16 years ago without the kindness of others.

I used to spend a lot of money on fruit juice and squash. We only drink water now. It is so much cheaper and much better for us.

You just get used to it.

Do you understand the title of this thread?

Are you able to respectfully adhere to it, or otherwise pipe down?

OMG I just checked my local salon supply shop - 5 litres of shampoo for €8.96 ex VAT. Even with VAT it's about €10.77!

I think you’ve already told another poster that! I think i would feel a lot more sympathy if the op hadn’t titled it as a poverty solidarity thread! You can be in poverty and have absolute nothing else left to try but if you are understandably struggling for cash and equally need to learn about budgeting then people are going to make suggestions, no?

I know how you feel OP.

I have struggled to be sensible too, and then have money worries.

I’m improving. I have downloaded a budgeting app that helps me.

Everything is harder on one income - it’s not the same as two incomes that add up to the same figure, due to tax allowances etc. Single person council tax discount should be 50%. One higher income can disqualify you from lots of things two smaller incomes allow.

Agree with this! No one needs sweet and sweetened drinks in their life - they’re so bad for you and your teeth.

I was literally just thinking the same thing. I have loads of old clothes that I need to get rid off, I'd much rather they went to people in need.