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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate my breasts

149 replies

Bathmatts · 15/05/2023 23:20

34GG.
People comment - as if its a compliment.
I feel self conscious.
Luckily my partner makes me feel sexy AF so I'm not so self loathing when I'm with him.
How do I love my body and be thankful for having breasts when shirts don't fucking button up?

OP posts:
Changethatnameagain2 · 16/05/2023 18:03

bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 16/05/2023 17:55

For shirts I do the button swap trick - two buttons that sit on the bust do the top one into the second hole and the second one into the top hole.

I can't picture that. Do you have a photo?

https://metro.co.uk/2021/11/29/try-this-simple-hack-to-fix-gaping-cardigan-buttons-15681336/

Try this simple hack to fix gaping cardigan buttons

Many of us have encountered this problem.

https://metro.co.uk/2021/11/29/try-this-simple-hack-to-fix-gaping-cardigan-buttons-15681336

Pooperscoopers · 16/05/2023 18:05

Oh I can relate to this OP. I’m a 32GG, nearly 40 and still don’t know how to dress to ‘flatter’ them. Have started to wear v necks though which seems to help after a lifetime of never even considering a v neck because it would emphasise them (or so I thought). I’d love to wear cami tops and bralets but I just look ridiculous. And at work, if I wear something fitted I can feel men sometimes looking at them.
i have finally found a bra that is comfortable though; it’s a curvy Kate one and is the first bra I’ve ever worn that isn’t uncomfortable.

bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 16/05/2023 21:41

Changethatnameagain2 · 16/05/2023 18:03

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Thanks! I'll try that later.

Bigtitsbetty · 17/05/2023 06:33

Changethatnameagain2 · 16/05/2023 18:03

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She doesn’t have big breasts though. Most of us with big boobs find that our tops come up short so this will only make the top up ride further up.

FannythePinkFlamingo · 17/05/2023 07:13

I have 36H tits and I hate them too. Although I'm an hourglass shape, I still look top heavy and matronly. In photos I look massive but it's all boob. Hate, hate, hate them. Even losing weight seems to have no effect either.

Digitallis · 17/05/2023 08:10

I’m 28GG, so small back which maybe helps as this isn’t always an issue but does happen too in some tops and dresses.

I find a really good fitting bra makes them look smaller (for me at least) as I have a clear gap between boobage rather than an all squashed together look which I don’t like either the look or feel of.

Changethatnameagain2 · 17/05/2023 08:40

Bigtitsbetty · 17/05/2023 06:33

She doesn’t have big breasts though. Most of us with big boobs find that our tops come up short so this will only make the top up ride further up.

Show quote history

I find it works. I'm tall, long body, big tits.

bolgnees · 17/05/2023 09:12

They weren't turned into sex objects whilst still at primary school, so many big-boobed women were "early bloomers" and wearing adult bras at that age.

No, girls with small boobs were insulted at school instead. The rest is true though. There's clearly 'downsides' to being big or small.

Chattycathydoll · 17/05/2023 09:28

bolgnees · 17/05/2023 09:12

They weren't turned into sex objects whilst still at primary school, so many big-boobed women were "early bloomers" and wearing adult bras at that age.

No, girls with small boobs were insulted at school instead. The rest is true though. There's clearly 'downsides' to being big or small.

yup. I’ve had experience of both body types, as I had anorexia which stalled development. Gained small amount of weight, got pregnant. Went from being lifelong flat chested to big boobs. I still think being bullied for being flat was preferable to this permanent state of ‘sex object’. Feeling sexually vulnerable is so much worse than feeling vulnerable to mockery.

snarkyrooster · 17/05/2023 09:33

there's a subreddit that people might want to check out, https://www.reddit.com/r/bigboobproblems/

lots of similar discussion on there!

bolgnees · 17/05/2023 10:05

Feeling sexually vulnerable is so much worse than feeling vulnerable to mockery.

I'm small so can't fully imagine what it's like to have bigger breasts but I will say, those boys at school who said I looked like a 'two year old boy' or a 'man' still touched my breasts. Some males are just horrid and opportunistic.

As an adult though, I don't feel sexualised because of my breasts so agree there!

whoruntheworldgirls · 17/05/2023 10:12

36HH here and hate the bastards, had a reduction on the NHS years ago when i was 21 due to the pain they caused in my neck, shoulders and back, but the bloody things grew back 😭
I do agree with this comment and that is how i dress, i rarely wear top and trousers now though as concious of my tummy too: 'Dresses with a defined waist are your friend. I agree with PP that big boobs make you look heavier. I find fit and flare type dresses are good for this - especially ones that have a higher neckline. Feels less revealing and embarrassing and people don’t stare as much, but I still feel feminine. Sweetheart necklines will enhance; round or v neck will look more professional / low key'

Madagascary · 17/05/2023 10:18

I understood growing back is quite unusual

Madagascary · 17/05/2023 10:18

Maybe you were too young?

Appalonia · 18/05/2023 22:10

When I was a teenager, I was a DD by age 13. I couldn't walk down the road without grown men commenting on them, saying things like look on the t**s on that. I was also sexually assaulted and felt like my own body was a danger to me. As a teen, even in the summer, I wouldn't go out without a jacket on. It was horrifying and bewildering to be objectified like that, when you don't have the emotional resources to deal with that. I LONGED to be flat chested, just to be anonymous and to get the unwanted attention, and the humiliating, vulgar comments to stop.

bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 18/05/2023 22:13

Appalonia · 18/05/2023 22:10

When I was a teenager, I was a DD by age 13. I couldn't walk down the road without grown men commenting on them, saying things like look on the t**s on that. I was also sexually assaulted and felt like my own body was a danger to me. As a teen, even in the summer, I wouldn't go out without a jacket on. It was horrifying and bewildering to be objectified like that, when you don't have the emotional resources to deal with that. I LONGED to be flat chested, just to be anonymous and to get the unwanted attention, and the humiliating, vulgar comments to stop.

All of this, plus I'm autistic so I still don't have the emotional resources to deal with it.

Mooshamoo · 19/05/2023 15:30

I'm 39 with large breasts.

People talk to my boobs all the time.

The eye contact always drifts down

woodhill · 19/05/2023 15:40

If the buttons gape I'm not sure about that button trick

I think press studs sewn on might work

Chickenkeev · 19/05/2023 15:47

I feel your pain. My boobs are smaller now but they were huge (i'm small) and i hated it. People gawking etc and bloody back pain

Chickenkeev · 19/05/2023 15:48

And yes, bloody buttons!!!!

Chickenkeev · 19/05/2023 15:49

And also as pp said, people talking to your boobs. Mine are great conversationalists now 😁

snarkyrooster · 19/05/2023 16:00

as a young teen not only did I get mocked by people at school for having large breasts but also by my own sister and my supposed friends. That was what hurt the most to be honest. As if growing up isn't hard enough without your own family and friends mocking you and shaming you.

I think I am still mentally damaged from it to an extent.

Chickenkeev · 19/05/2023 17:10

snarkyrooster · 19/05/2023 16:00

as a young teen not only did I get mocked by people at school for having large breasts but also by my own sister and my supposed friends. That was what hurt the most to be honest. As if growing up isn't hard enough without your own family and friends mocking you and shaming you.

I think I am still mentally damaged from it to an extent.

That's it. It's awful.

bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 27/05/2023 03:06

snarkyrooster · 19/05/2023 16:00

as a young teen not only did I get mocked by people at school for having large breasts but also by my own sister and my supposed friends. That was what hurt the most to be honest. As if growing up isn't hard enough without your own family and friends mocking you and shaming you.

I think I am still mentally damaged from it to an extent.

Same! I still can't completely forgive my sister for it.

I think I am reasonable in saying that female puberty can be traumatising, and is more likely to be so if you are big-breasted, autistic, or both.

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