I hate my breasts

[Bathmatts]

34GG.
People comment - as if its a compliment.
I feel self conscious.
Luckily my partner makes me feel sexy AF so I'm not so self loathing when I'm with him.
How do I love my body and be thankful for having breasts when shirts don't fucking button up?

The recovery is not bad at all. Minimal pain

Reading all this stuff about how to style them really takes me back. God it was awful. And relentless. Have a reduction. £8k. You’ll be delighted.

Same - 32GG here. Not a huge amount to add to what everyone else has said really. Good bras (which are v. hard to find) and the right clothes are key. I still find it a struggle to tread the ridiculously fine line between slutty and matronly.

It probably doesn't help that I'm 5'1 and relatively small-boned so my boobs look particularly oversized on my frame. I always had the biggest boobs out of all of my friends and I started my periods at 10 so they were developing very early. We were still having to get changed for PE in an open mixed classroom at that age, which I absolutely hated.

Anyway, I'm nearly 40 and finally considering a reduction - I'm just fed up of spending so much time feeling self conscious and uncomfortable.

Ex 34H here. Very small back and they were awful. Could never find dresses that fitted or wear fashionable necklines as bra would show. Had to live with it until a year and a half ago, when for various reasons I had to have part removed on one side with a breast reduction to even up both sides. Bliss. 34C-D now. Wish I had done it sooner. Can run after my daughter without holding my breasts so they didn´t hurt, can wear what I bloody well like and my back doesnt hurt! Save up and have the op when you are ready. Life changing.

I'm a 32hh and miserable with them so I understand. They've got bigger with each child I had. People don't hold back commenting on them which I hate

Any tips for winter coat/jacket dressing when it's too cold to leave coats open or wear shorter jackets?

I either look like a caterpillar with no shape if I go a size up, or my shape is outlined too much if I buy my usual size.

Wearing a belt or waisted dress is a disaster for me. It makes my top half look ‘bosomly’. Wonder if it’s because I am short at 5 1?

That's a shame it doesn't work for you HereAndNowAgain. As you say, it could well be your height. I guess if the waist/belt is too close to your bust, it looks like they're being hoiked up by it maybe? I tried on a Bravissimo bikini recently which had high waisted bottoms and it just didn't work for me as the bottoms were almost sitting directly under the bottom of the bikini top. Whereas on the, no doubt tall, model it looked great.

Although the waist definition thing works for me, it's still a lot of trial and error to find the right style with the waist in the right place or the right looking belt and the right balance between defined and too-cinched-in.

I'm another one who's seriously considering a reduction op.

I’m doing two things that help.

Losing weight -starve these things smaller
Minimiser sports bra - strap the fuckers down

Collectif has been an absolute godsend for me when it comes to coats. I usually have to have them taken up to around knee length so they don't swamp me or look too dressy, but they're the most flattering coats I've ever owned. The only things I wear that I consistently get lots of compliments on and actually flatters my big boobs! The Heather coat in particular (I have it in black) is amazing and really warm in the winter.

Women's Coats - Collectif London Buy Now at Collectif London

Oh thank you! What a lovely brand. I haven't looked at them before. Their coats look like they are cut to be flattering, so avoiding the caterpillar/overly outlined effect.

I am short and would probably have to get them taken up too - but worth it.

The only flattering coat I currently have is one from Monsoon which is actually cut in a similar shape to these coats.

I can agree with collectif, I have a couple of their dresses that fit me really well with no sewing needed!

Cropped pic but this is a collectif dress on me

I never wear shirts for this reason, although if you get one custom made it will fit otherwise one with hooks & eyes not buttons might work. Also, if you hate them that much, surgery is also an option. I have two friends who have gone down this route, one just this week. I'm an H cup.

34J here and find I can get away with them because I'm tall (just under 6'). Plunge bras, V neck tops and a fitted waist dress Seem to be the best ways to dress. Fashion is designed by men for women with boyish figures these days (think of how beautiful Kate Middleton looks, I can't wear any of those styles despite being her height).

For shirts I do the button swap trick - two buttons that sit on the bust do the top one into the second hole and the second one into the top hole. It stops the gaping. That and a cami/vest top under the dress/shirt and don't button it up.

I won't apologise for having boobs and will dress to what flatters and fits and if that means I have cleavage on show which offends then I suggest you stop looking at it.

50s style dresses/sweetheart necklines are also beautiful and flattering

Thanks Kyse

40H here, I'm late 40s so have had plenty of shit down the years.
I don't wear anything with buttons at the front. V necks are better than round necks and I find tunics work well.
I've started making my own, more flattering clothes in a style that I love, one of the biggest challenges is adapting the top as patterns are often too small.

I gained weight when I was younger, having a size 8 waist and size 16 top made for some interesting comments, now I'm a size 20 all over, probably not as healthy, but I'm in proportion.

If I could give advice to younger me, it would be to tell anyone that comments to fuck off and not change myself to hide. Dress in a way that makes me feel comfortable and gives me confidence to step out with my head held high, and accept that anyone who doesn't like me for being me is not a friend.

I was really shocked when they'd tell me how they'd constantly get harassed by men

God.  I was 16 at my first job when I worked late and my manager paid for a taxi to make sure I got home okay as I'm not even sure u18s were allowed to do nightshifts. Taxi driver pulled off the road before he got to my house and told me to show him my tits as payment. It was already paid by the company of course but think he was banking on me not knowing that.

That was after a good three years of not even being able to walk down the street without men staring, whistling, making comments. Vans are the worst. Fucking 13 when they were grew to an E cup which is just unmanageable (and obvious to anyone from a mile away) when you think how tiny the average 13yos waist is. I remember being so jealous of friends who could wear strappy tops (and even just tops really!) without a care in the world when the only time I felt comfortable was in winter with a big coat on that just made me look overweight. Overweight was better than whoreish. Men don't notice them as much.

Here's a pic of me as a teen trying to cram myself into a swimsuit that I had to wear a sexy lacy Anne Summers bra under because they were the only place that got even remotely close to my size back then. And wearing a swimsuit without the support of a bra was unthinkable because I was probably a size 6 wearing a size 14 bikini top. Actually mildly triggering looking back 😂. I just wanted to be the same as all my friends.

@HereAndNowAgain Katherine Hamilton does a 26HH. They are pricey at about £100 a bra but the price was worth paying for me to get the weight off my shoulders and onto the band where it's supposed to be!

That Collectif dress looks amazing.

Avoid long chunky necklaces that finish on your bust. They draw too much attention to the area and jiggle about loads when you walk

Necklaces need to be short or else omitted in favour of glorious earrings.

Just looked again and realised that's you and not a catalogue pic. You chose well in buying it.

Agree re necklaces. Bought myself three straight after the op

@RudsyFarmer can you recommend a particular minimiser sports bra? I just today came to the same conclusion as you! 40G is going to take a lot of flattening though:(

All minimisers do is squash them into a mono boob and push them under your armpits.

For shirts I do the button swap trick - two buttons that sit on the bust do the top one into the second hole and the second one into the top hole.

I can't picture that. Do you have a photo?