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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I hate my breasts

149 replies

Bathmatts · 15/05/2023 23:20

34GG.
People comment - as if its a compliment.
I feel self conscious.
Luckily my partner makes me feel sexy AF so I'm not so self loathing when I'm with him.
How do I love my body and be thankful for having breasts when shirts don't fucking button up?

OP posts:
VooVooV · 16/05/2023 00:02

Brastop does very reasonably priced bras for large boobs, BTW.

Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:03

VooVooV · 16/05/2023 00:01

Well said @Bathmatts
Those first couple of replies were just inane. It was obvious what you meant.
I know what you mean, so sympathy. I’m used to people talking to my tits. It’s very tedious.

Tedious tits might be my next username.
Thank you for hearing me x

OP posts:
Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:04

VooVooV · 16/05/2023 00:02

Brastop does very reasonably priced bras for large boobs, BTW.

Not heard of them - will have a look. Thank you !

OP posts:
JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 16/05/2023 00:05

Fellow owner of massive norks.

It is shit. You have my sympathy.

PrettyMaybug · 16/05/2023 00:06

This reply has been deleted

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Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:07

AngryBirdsNoMore · 16/05/2023 00:00

*superboost lace plunge unpadded bra, fhat should say. Not very impressed with the padded ones.

I'm so pleased you clarified that, I was slightly perplexed at padded 😂

OP posts:
VooVooV · 16/05/2023 00:08

Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:03

Tedious tits might be my next username.
Thank you for hearing me x

Ha ha - love it! I’ll look out for you.

Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:09

This reply has been deleted

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But noone said I was BU - just shit responses designed to be unkind. Not cool.

OP posts:
RaininginDarling · 16/05/2023 00:09

34G here waves I get it, some clothes we just can't wear, they make us larger chested women look matronly (hello Hattie Jacques) whilst other things make us look positively indecent.

And we can end up with bad posture from lugging the clumsy meat bags around the place. Don't get me started on the walking jiggle or inappropriate nipple peaks. And yes, it's utterly bizarre and rage-enducing that some men feel they have the right to comment on your body. They can FTFO.

But I'm pretty sure nearly everyone has body parts they wish were different, smaller, bigger, firmer, fitter. Many of us hanker for a shape we are not or clothes that we can't quite carry off (boho blouses ALWAYS make me look like a matronly Carry On support actress. Won't stop me trying them on though🙄).

Make sure you're wearing the right bra. Bravissimo is okay, if you can find one. Rugby & Peller even better, if you can splash the cash.

Wear clothes for your shape. Google advice if necessary, don't deviate from styles that suit the pigeon breasted (ie v-necks are good, roll necks, not so much). I think avoiding big patterns or anything too busy helps.

Work on your posture.

Exercise - the more you like and trust your body as a whole, the less focussed you'll be on the one thing. Or two things, in this case.

Finally, big healthy breasts, if you have them, are better than the alternative. That goes for any body part. You don't really appreciate your health until it's gone.

Iwouldlikesomecake · 16/05/2023 00:11

‘Get a bigger shirt’ is shit advice, you then just look massive with a shirt hanging baggily off your boobs like a shelf. I hear you OP, I quite like my boobs in themselves but I dress like shit 🤣

Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yeah the sleeves look odd and I'm trying to detract attention... thanks tho...

OP posts:
Agapornis · 16/05/2023 00:13

Loose fit shirts. Usually viscose with prints, they drape nicely. I have two shirts that miraculously don't gap yet are a close fit on the shoulders, I love them (Topshop and People Tree, both a few years ago now!)

That said, losing weight and going from 34GG to 34DD made the biggest difference in getting clothes to fit me better.

Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:13

RaininginDarling · 16/05/2023 00:09

34G here waves I get it, some clothes we just can't wear, they make us larger chested women look matronly (hello Hattie Jacques) whilst other things make us look positively indecent.

And we can end up with bad posture from lugging the clumsy meat bags around the place. Don't get me started on the walking jiggle or inappropriate nipple peaks. And yes, it's utterly bizarre and rage-enducing that some men feel they have the right to comment on your body. They can FTFO.

But I'm pretty sure nearly everyone has body parts they wish were different, smaller, bigger, firmer, fitter. Many of us hanker for a shape we are not or clothes that we can't quite carry off (boho blouses ALWAYS make me look like a matronly Carry On support actress. Won't stop me trying them on though🙄).

Make sure you're wearing the right bra. Bravissimo is okay, if you can find one. Rugby & Peller even better, if you can splash the cash.

Wear clothes for your shape. Google advice if necessary, don't deviate from styles that suit the pigeon breasted (ie v-necks are good, roll necks, not so much). I think avoiding big patterns or anything too busy helps.

Work on your posture.

Exercise - the more you like and trust your body as a whole, the less focussed you'll be on the one thing. Or two things, in this case.

Finally, big healthy breasts, if you have them, are better than the alternative. That goes for any body part. You don't really appreciate your health until it's gone.

I've cut and pasted this and will stick up on my fridge.
Thank you for understanding and your kindness x

OP posts:
DoingBugStuff · 16/05/2023 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:14

This reply has been deleted

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RaininginDarling · 16/05/2023 00:16

RaininginDarling · 16/05/2023 00:09

34G here waves I get it, some clothes we just can't wear, they make us larger chested women look matronly (hello Hattie Jacques) whilst other things make us look positively indecent.

And we can end up with bad posture from lugging the clumsy meat bags around the place. Don't get me started on the walking jiggle or inappropriate nipple peaks. And yes, it's utterly bizarre and rage-enducing that some men feel they have the right to comment on your body. They can FTFO.

But I'm pretty sure nearly everyone has body parts they wish were different, smaller, bigger, firmer, fitter. Many of us hanker for a shape we are not or clothes that we can't quite carry off (boho blouses ALWAYS make me look like a matronly Carry On support actress. Won't stop me trying them on though🙄).

Make sure you're wearing the right bra. Bravissimo is okay, if you can find one. Rugby & Peller even better, if you can splash the cash.

Wear clothes for your shape. Google advice if necessary, don't deviate from styles that suit the pigeon breasted (ie v-necks are good, roll necks, not so much). I think avoiding big patterns or anything too busy helps.

Work on your posture.

Exercise - the more you like and trust your body as a whole, the less focussed you'll be on the one thing. Or two things, in this case.

Finally, big healthy breasts, if you have them, are better than the alternative. That goes for any body part. You don't really appreciate your health until it's gone.

Rigby & Peller obvs.

Also: really research breast reduction before you go down that route. Two friends had this done and both are now back to the size they were before. Apparently, that's not uncommon. Also, keeping the nipple alive to reattach during surgery is complex and carries serious risks.

RaininginDarling · 16/05/2023 00:18

You're welcome @Bathmatts XX

Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:19

RaininginDarling · 16/05/2023 00:16

Rigby & Peller obvs.

Also: really research breast reduction before you go down that route. Two friends had this done and both are now back to the size they were before. Apparently, that's not uncommon. Also, keeping the nipple alive to reattach during surgery is complex and carries serious risks.

Thanks - I don't feel like surgery is right for me, I'd prefer to find a way to accept and love them really.
Thanks for your response, appreciate stranger's like you 😘

OP posts:
PollyPeptide · 16/05/2023 00:21

I get you. Nothing ever hangs right and dresses are impossible. And it affects your posture.

I don't know why anyone is having a go. Nothing unreasonable in wanting your body parts to be in proportion. My friend had to have an operation to reduce hers because it was giving her such terrible back problems. I hope that doesn't happen to you.

PS. I'm sure you actually look great in everyone's eyes except your own.

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 16/05/2023 00:23

This might also help. https://hourglassy.com/clothing-for-big-busts/

I can't remember which poster on this site recommend them but Ann Summers actually do really good supportive bras & they are above half the price of Freya, Gossard etc. While you won't find a tshirt bra on it, some are fairly decent. I was sceptical but have bought a few and very happy with them. Same with PourMoi.

Also but them in a washbag before going in the machine and start on the widest hook and they'll last longer.

Best Clothing for Big Busts – hourglassy.com

https://hourglassy.com/clothing-for-big-busts

Falt · 16/05/2023 00:24

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It just makes you look like you're wearing a tent though?!

In high school I couldn't take my jumper off. Literally boiling outside in the summer and Tits McGee would be sweating because I couldn't take it off without it looking either indecent (because it only buttoned up my belly) or like a hot air balloon with sticks for legs. Both would just draw even more attention to me so it was easier to just suffer. I have permanent indents on my shoulders because 10-15 years ago you couldn't even buy a bra that fit me (cup sizes that big nearly always mean the band is too big too, so rather than getting support from that all the weight is carried by the straps). Now I pay eye watering prices for 26HH bras and could probably have funded a bloody reduction with the money I've spent on bras (most of them ill-fitting) over the years.

OP I feel your pain and don't really have an answer except maybe try to lose weight. I did and while they were still massive and I looked a bit like Katie Price in her bad days, at least the back pain eased up and they didn't feel so cumbersome. I could almost get away with clothes I'd never even consider before and even got comfortable wearing crop tops in the house (instead of a bra) and taking my bra off in front of DP (in the dark but still). For me it was noticeably better at 8st than 10st but then again maintaining 8st when it's not your "natural weight" can be a bit tiresome too. At 8-9st I'm a 26HH and at 9-10st I'm a 28HH, but there's actually less "volume" in the cup sizes the lower down the bands you go. I wish I could get over it and be thankful but I honestly hate them. I hate how matronly / top heavy I look, I hate the attention, I hate looking at clothes on models of all sizes and knowing it will never look good on me. Low cut looks "slutty" while high cut looks "matronly", there's no winning really. 😩

Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:24

PollyPeptide · 16/05/2023 00:21

I get you. Nothing ever hangs right and dresses are impossible. And it affects your posture.

I don't know why anyone is having a go. Nothing unreasonable in wanting your body parts to be in proportion. My friend had to have an operation to reduce hers because it was giving her such terrible back problems. I hope that doesn't happen to you.

PS. I'm sure you actually look great in everyone's eyes except your own.

I'd love a decent dress!!
Thank you for being so nice xx

OP posts:
Bathmatts · 16/05/2023 00:30

Falt · 16/05/2023 00:24

It just makes you look like you're wearing a tent though?!

In high school I couldn't take my jumper off. Literally boiling outside in the summer and Tits McGee would be sweating because I couldn't take it off without it looking either indecent (because it only buttoned up my belly) or like a hot air balloon with sticks for legs. Both would just draw even more attention to me so it was easier to just suffer. I have permanent indents on my shoulders because 10-15 years ago you couldn't even buy a bra that fit me (cup sizes that big nearly always mean the band is too big too, so rather than getting support from that all the weight is carried by the straps). Now I pay eye watering prices for 26HH bras and could probably have funded a bloody reduction with the money I've spent on bras (most of them ill-fitting) over the years.

OP I feel your pain and don't really have an answer except maybe try to lose weight. I did and while they were still massive and I looked a bit like Katie Price in her bad days, at least the back pain eased up and they didn't feel so cumbersome. I could almost get away with clothes I'd never even consider before and even got comfortable wearing crop tops in the house (instead of a bra) and taking my bra off in front of DP (in the dark but still). For me it was noticeably better at 8st than 10st but then again maintaining 8st when it's not your "natural weight" can be a bit tiresome too. At 8-9st I'm a 26HH and at 9-10st I'm a 28HH, but there's actually less "volume" in the cup sizes the lower down the bands you go. I wish I could get over it and be thankful but I honestly hate them. I hate how matronly / top heavy I look, I hate the attention, I hate looking at clothes on models of all sizes and knowing it will never look good on me. Low cut looks "slutty" while high cut looks "matronly", there's no winning really. 😩

Losing weight might be the answer - but cake. And gin... urghhh

Thank you (I bet you are look as lovely as your words are)

OP posts:
bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 16/05/2023 00:31

SiobhanSharpe · 15/05/2023 23:40

Go up a size so shirts fit?

Yeah, but in reality at GG you go up two sizes and they still don't fit because they are too big on the waist, shoulders, and hips. Imagine wearing a parachute with straining buttons over the bust.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 16/05/2023 00:33

Another big boobed lady here 34 H. I totally get what you're saying about the clothes. I don't buy anything with buttons down the front as had too many moments in the past when I've lost a button ! Shirts are a nightmare and I've totally given up on them now bravissimo don't do clothing anymore.
However I do love the straps tops from bravissimo for the summer.
I got nhs funding to have a reduction but after much research decided against it. I don't have many back problems at the top of my back ( lower back problems, but consultant said a breast reduction wouldn't make any difference) so for health reasons I felt I couldn't justify putting myself through an operation. Weirdly apart from it being annoying to find clothes, they don't bother me - they are just part of me.
I've always felt quite lucky that I feel quite at ease with being big boobed as know so many who struggle with it.