To not go to the job interview because they accused me of lying

[Rabbitsea]

I had a job interview booked recently, the day before my grandma passed away. I was really close to her and i would not have been great in the interview the next day.

I emailed and called prior explaining what had happened and if possible i would like to rearrange, they agreed all was fine. Rearranged for this Wednesday, but I got a call today saying, sorry to hear about your mother in law. I said it wasn’t my mother in law it was my grandma.

5 minutes later i got a call from the woman saying i’m sure you said it was your mother in law, you said you have to support your partner. I said no it’s my grandmother i don’t even had a partner. She replied and said no you said mother in law, we have recorded calls and if we listen back and you said mother in law the interview would be off the table.

At this point i was quite irritated and I felt upset that she would imply i would lie about losing my grandma. She ended the call saying will I actually turn up to the interview if all is okay? I feel like its not a good start to begin with

^^This

Don't go to the interview. Name and shame them on social media. Totally unacceptable behaviour. God only knows what it's like to actually work there!

As someone who is both I resent the implication that this kind of behaviour is immediately attributed to either.

I would go for the interview and if I was offered the job I would 100% accept it. Tell them you've given your employer 4 weeks notice and then on your very last (pretend) day at your current job call the new place and tell them to stuff it. Job done. Set of cunts

I wouldn’t even respond to her. She sounds an unbearable know-it-all; an empty vessel who likes to assert her (limited) authority.

If you have the email address for the senior colleague who wants to meet you, I’d forward the entire thread to him/her and tell them that this woman and her continued callous and completely unprofessional conduct towards a potential candidate who is going through a very difficult time has put you off from pursuing a role at the company because it is not indicative of a working culture that you are interested in being part of. Hopefully there will be some repercussions and she’ll be dissuaded from treating other people so appallingly in the future.

I wouldn't want to work with people who behave like that.

I'd go anyway I think, doesn't mean she's either the interviewer or the person you'd be working for/with. It might just be some minor incompetent in hr you won't have to deal with again. Let them have the chance to sell you the job at least.

I'd do this. Consider asking if this is a person you'd be working with and state that your experience of her thus far has seriously put you off working with them.

Yep that covers it!

I can see why you're annoyed, but in reality if you got the job how likely are you to work in close contact with that person?
You are judging the whole organisation on the basis of one person - it might be everyone else is absolutely lovely and shes known as the office arsehole. In which case you are only disadvantaging yourself if you cancel. Also if there is the slightest chance you might ever apply to work there again, or it's a small industry it does make you look a bit flaky to call to rearrange an interview, they work around you to do it, and then you cancel.

Otoh if you don't need the job and work in a big field feel free to cancel -I would personally email someone other than the person you've been speaking to (the hiring manager or a senior staff member) to explain why.

Just to add, in my last jobthe whole interview and hiring process was an absolute disorganised crap fest and I could completely see why it could put people off- but when I finally got there the job itself was great, I stayed there for years and I never had any involvement with the staff involved in the hiring/on boarding stuff the whole time i was there, so it often isn't indicative of anything other than 1 bad apple employee.

If anything the fact they agreed to reschedule the interview is suggestive of a good place to work - lots of places wouldn't do that.

You said in your OP that you had called and emailed before the interview.

Can you find the email and forward it to her? Along with a note saying that you are not willing to interview for a role in a company that obviously distrusts you before you even start.

Isn't recording without notification illegal still ?

You dodged a bullet with that one, OP - who would want to work with a woman like that?

The optics are not great here. I went to an interview that asked if I had children. I got the job but did not feel comfortable with the company.

I’d let the interview go.

A friend couldn’t make an arranged interview once, the firm replied with another date but then within hours of the original postponed date, they were marked as red not selected on indeed which meant they probably would have gone to the next arranged interview as a waste of time. Clearly job was filled for them to update indeed. It was a save for my friend.

Sorry they seem to have treated you so rum.

I think she’s trying to cover her back. I deal with complaints at work regularly. Saying there “seems to be some confusion” is the euphemism I use for “someone blatantly made a mistake” without outright admitting anything or accusing anyone of anything.

You don’t say what role this woman has in the organisation- but I absolutely 100% would not let her rudeness deter you from the interview. Highly possible she has a best mate up for the same job. Go in , sell yourself, make them give you time and at the end when they say any questions drop the bomb of why they managed to get a sensitive issue such as bereavement confused. Defo do not work for them though!!

You made the right decision in my opinion.

sorry about your grandmother.

The thing is, OP might not feel up for confrontation or interview questions so soon after a bereavement. She might find it hard to keep her composure and a straight face when asking why they “managed to get a sensitive issue such as bereavement confused”. Also I wouldn’t want to waste my time or money travelling to a job interview I don’t want.

Definitely don't go for the interview. Explain why in a VERY formal email, noting that this incident has caused you to rethink your willingness to consider a position with this company.

It's not a good start op if they're going to speak to you like that before you've even started. Is it a job you really wanted? If you don't go, I would drop them a polite email to say exactly why.

Lucky escape, don't go. What sort of organisation are thry, like losing someone close isn't enough emotional turmoil to be going through? X

I think she's lying about the recording

I would attend the interview and explain that you will be making a SAR to obtain a copy of the phone call as you weren't aware you were being recorded in the first place.

If she knows there is no such recording, she's going to be squirmy. And I'd follow up with the request too.

On a serious note, I'm senior level management and I'd want to know about this and it would indeed be dealt with.

Just RTFT and see she's come back to you.

Ignore me