To not go to the job interview because they accused me of lying

[Rabbitsea]

I had a job interview booked recently, the day before my grandma passed away. I was really close to her and i would not have been great in the interview the next day.

I emailed and called prior explaining what had happened and if possible i would like to rearrange, they agreed all was fine. Rearranged for this Wednesday, but I got a call today saying, sorry to hear about your mother in law. I said it wasn’t my mother in law it was my grandma.

5 minutes later i got a call from the woman saying i’m sure you said it was your mother in law, you said you have to support your partner. I said no it’s my grandmother i don’t even had a partner. She replied and said no you said mother in law, we have recorded calls and if we listen back and you said mother in law the interview would be off the table.

At this point i was quite irritated and I felt upset that she would imply i would lie about losing my grandma. She ended the call saying will I actually turn up to the interview if all is okay? I feel like its not a good start to begin with

I am so into vindication that not only would I insist they listen to the recording and email me to invite me to interview after they ascertained I'm not a liar, I would do my utmost to nail the interview and get the job. And then I would say I would let them know, leave them hanging until the last acceptable moment and then turn it down and say you've reflected but you're looking for a position with a company that's welcoming, empathetic and supportive, which theirs is not.

Maybe by a weird coincidence they had a similar situation with another interviewee but MIL. Anyway, I’m sorry for your loss.

Appalling.

She is still calling you a liar.

What a way to attract talent......by repeatedly calling them a liar.

I think whomever would be hiring needs to be informed that calling interviewees liars, is really NOT a good recruitment model.

5 minutes later i got a call from the woman saying i’m sure you said it was your mother in law, you said you have to support your partner. I said no it’s my grandmother i don’t even had a partner. She replied and said no you said mother in law, we have recorded calls and if we listen back and you said mother in law the interview would be off the table.

So she phoned back deliberately to argue?

And still hasn't admitted that she has done anything wrong?

No need for any revenge, you have had a lucky escape.

Can you email them something like an order of service as evidence?

I agree that the call was absolutely unacceptable. I can see the value in many other posters’ suggestions as to the next course of action (ask to listen to the recording?/ write/ get job and then tell them to take a running jump but if the trust has gone and the OP no longer wants to work for the company (which we’re not sure about) maybe it’s better to spend the time and energy looking for another job.

I’d email back saying there was no confusion, because my much loved grandmother had died, as I said then. I’d explain that I no longer wished to attend the interview as I felt that being accused of lying about a devastating bereavement, before I’d even come for an interview, did not signify the sort of workplace I would wish to join. I’d thank them for their time and sign off. I’d also copy in this person that was apparently keen to meet me, assuming he is her superior, and hoping there’d be some sort of fall out for her.

Also don’t believe the bollocks about that call not being recorded, she’s being a complete twat and trying to cover her tracks/save face.

You had a lucky escape, don’t go for the interview that’s shocking behaviour. Walk away.

I would not want to work for this company. If they’re like this to someone who doesn’t work for them, what would they be like with their own staff. Not very professional!

They record calls but strangely not your initial call. My arse!!! She's listened to it and knows she's fucked up.

Agree with the other comments. I'd tell them they were rude, disorganised and unprofessional and would make sure that the team, not just HR, knew about why I'd withdrawn from the process.

Very rude of them. I think it depends a bit on who it was who phoned you. If it's someone you would be working with, then definitely don't go. If it is an HR person who has nothing to with your job and you may not see them again then go.

Yeah, I'd be tempted to not let their "cop out" response slide either.

"I most definitely did not refer to a Mother-in-Law, not least because it was my grandmother that died, but mostly because I am neither married, nor do I have a partner so there's no possible way that I could have said it.

Had you just acknowledged your mistake and apologised genuinely I might have reconsidered attending the interview, but this has just solidified my original view."

OK, I might not actually send it, but writing it would be cathartic at least.

I'd note the murky legal waters of recording calls without the other party's consent in an email, and ask if they have anything in their data handling policy about it that they can share with you

Yup this

This. How nasty of them. I wouldn’t want to work with people like that.

I would still go even if you don't intend to take the job, but I would be making it clear to whoever was interviewing me that I do not appreciate being accused of lying, that funny my call was the only one which was not recorded and her attitude, really drop the bitch in it.

Sounds like a shit company! You've not lost anything

I think I'd be inclined to email the hiring manager explaining what happened, the person's attitude and how being accused of lying and threatened made you feel. I would tell them on this basis you aren't interested in proceeding.

Definitely say something if you decline the interview (I would).

This I think is perfect, if their hr department acts like this then it brings into question the whole culture of the organisation. Unless you really need it, if bin Thai one

CC all other members of management is most effective.

The more names you cc the better.

There can be zero denial of what occurred when you are intent on informing them.

Also I think querying their GDPR protocols for her initial claim that you are a liar and she has proof would be good to add.

She seems extremely unprofessional to call you again and ask was their a problem.......with her calling you a liar.

Unbelievable behaviour.

Hard swerve.

Please make sure the hiring manager knows why you won't be coming. This awful woman needs to be dealt with.

I am sorry for your loss OP, and especially sorry that you had to deal with a person like this.

I am going to go against the grain here. Presumably this is a good progression opportunity for you. I would urge you to not let one ill judged moment from an insensitive employee, possibly far away in some HR office sabotage what might be a great career move.

I would go to the interview and see what your potential direct manager is like to help you establish whether your experience is typical of the company or whether it was a stupid one-off moment from a distant ironically names HR professional with whom you may possibly never have an interaction again.

Who was it that called - someone in HR, or the managers PA? Whoever it was was really unprofessional -even if she was sure that you had said MiL and you corrected her, she should have just apologised, said ‘sorry for your loss’ and dropped it. But she decided to go Miss Marple and make a big deal of it. Sounds like a right busy body.

Personally, I would drop the whole thing and let the head of HR and the hiring manager know why (not in a nasty way, but explain that this made a stressful and awful situation even worse, and if this is how people are treated, I’d rather not be exposed to such a work culture). But that’s me.