To want my son to go to a higher achieving Uni?

[Namingchangeagain]

My son now has A star AA at A-level and is on his year out. He has four unconditional offers from universities (going this September) and three of those unis are considered ‘top’ - Bristol, Durham and Leeds. However, he wants to go Aberystwyth - who have also offered him a place. We think he is aiming too low (most students on the course will have BBB whereas our son has A star AA). AIBU?

What does he like about Aberystwyth? I think the key thing is him being happy where he’s going. I can understand you want him to go a higher ranking university but ultimately you can only gently guide him. It’ll be him spending three years at the place.

My dd went to university last year, so have recent experience of this.

I think you need to discuss his reason for picking the one he has, in a non confrontational way. And in a way that isnt just you telling why he is wrong until he gives in. But, ultimately, you need to accept this is his choice

It's his decision, not yours.

Oh I'm on the fence here OP. My knee jerk reaction is let him go where he will be happiest and that Aberystwyth is a good university BUT realistically, if most people on his course will have BBB as opposed to AstarAA, then the level of teaching and the level he will leave at will necessarily be much lower.

Perhaps worth a conversation about Aberystwyth vs the others. I don't think YABU but it will ultimately be his choice.

He’s an Adult, it’s his decision

Do not underestimate the impact of living somewhere you hate for 3 years. If he thinks he will be happy at Aberystwyth then support him.

What’s his reasoning? In my view he would need a very good reason to choose Aberystwyth over the others.

His decision. He needs to be happy there and be interested by the course content. And what uni you go to has zero impact on your career, in my experience.

It is his decision. You can however ensure he's thought through all of the options, and at the same time check your own thinking on why you want a 'higher achieving uni'.

Most importantly, where will he be happy? Because he will do best if he's happy.

Secondly, what direction is he likely to want to go in future? Many huge multi national corporations don't care for 2:1s from a top uni now in the same way they did 10 years ago. Many are proactively looking elsewhere to increase diversity.

I teach at a lower tier university largely for reasons of lifestyle. My university is not Aberystwyth, but more or less exactly the same.

Bright students can benefit enormously in these environments because they staff have a lot of time for engaged and interested students. These students can stand out and have a lot of opportunities - our best students go on to post-grad work at top universities and we are still respectable academics with good contacts. Our students tend to be pretty happy.

Our colleagues at higher ranking universities are struggling with increased student numbers.

My son is at a top university, and I am proud of him and understand your sentiments. Probably your son will be fine no matter where he goes, but a happy student is really the goal.

In my experience "high achieving" often means "high proportion of intake from elite schools" and says very little about the quality of teaching - a prestigious research uni will likely not put their best resources into teaching at undergrad level. Far more important for him to study the right course in a place he will be happy.

I wish my parents had discussed my choice with me. Had offers to read chemical engineering at the top universities for the subject but for some reason made my choice on the quality of the buffet on the open day and the nice green campus. The thing is I was easily the brightest on the course and cruised first year, tried to do the same thing in second year and didn’t get great results, had to work hard to pull it all back.

Everyone I know who went to Aberystwyth was incredibly happy there and went on to do well. It really is a fabulous place. City unis can be a bit grim

He'll probably save a decent chunk of money going to Aber :-)

It's his choice, his life, his debt.

He will still have a* aa grades on his cv

It's his life, so his choice.

Snobbish or what! He’s old enough to make his own choice, and if that’s Aberystwyth then that’s where he goes.

Ds had offers from RG unis and chose one that was not, however it was ranked highly for his course. He has had a great time, mixed with students from a variety of backgrounds and it was cheaper for living costs. Let him go where he will be happy. Better to have a degree than go somewhere he hates and then drops out.

This. I dropped out of a (well-regarded) London uni to go to Bradford. Loved it and did well in my degree and Masters, then went on to do a PhD (at a Russell Group uni) and work in my field. Aber will also be a much cheaper place to live so he won't have to spend as much time doing paid work. Also being at a Russell Group uni doesn't necessarily mean better teaching, as the 'star' academics will be spending more time on their research, with postgrads doing a lot of the teaching.

His life, he’s an adult, his decision, he needs to do what he chooses.

Leeds is great btw. And Durham. But you can lead a horse to water…

This is regular but terrible advice often on MN.

Young people rarely understand the broader significance of their uni choice on life and career prospects, or choose uni based on which they'll party at more.

Given the amount of debt they'll get into by going, it's helpful to guide young people to go to the best uni they possibly can

What does your son want to study? Aberystwyth is very highly regarded for some subjects. Plus it's a gorgeous place, cheap, and I agree that it produces very happy students.

Your son will work and achieve better if he's happy.

This illustrates my point.

17yos choose on the basis of frankly fairly ridiculous stuff