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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my son to go to a higher achieving Uni?

317 replies

Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 13:59

My son now has A star AA at A-level and is on his year out. He has four unconditional offers from universities (going this September) and three of those unis are considered ‘top’ - Bristol, Durham and Leeds. However, he wants to go Aberystwyth - who have also offered him a place. We think he is aiming too low (most students on the course will have BBB whereas our son has A star AA). AIBU?

OP posts:
MidlifeWhatNow · 15/05/2023 14:37

17yos choose on the basis of frankly fairly ridiculous stuff

Except, he's not 17, and what is 'ridiculous' about wanting to spend 3 years somewhere that you think you'll really enjoy?

fussychica · 15/05/2023 14:37

Well my DS went to Aber after receiving offers from all his 5 choices including several "top" universities. He already had his excellent results, like your DS, so made his choice based on where he felt the most comfortable after visiting all his choices and the standard of the course rather than the ranking of the university.
He loved his time there, like nearly everyone who goes!
He did a postgrad at Oxford so I don't think going to Aber was detrimental for him in any way.
As long as he is fully informed allow him to make the right choice for him.

Skybluepinky · 15/05/2023 14:38

Without knowing which subject no one can give u an answer

fortifiedwithtea · 15/05/2023 14:38

Our daughter also took a couple of years out before deciding she wanted a degree. She chose the Uni a few miles down the road with the green spaces.

make no mistake studying for a degree whilst working is bloody tough. But by living at home she kept her mental health together. She passed Ba (hons) 1st class and job wise has been very successful.

Also fyi Aberystwyth has a wicked archery team.

Datingpuzzle101 · 15/05/2023 14:40

Bristol has high suicide rates and poor pastoral care for its students, I wouldn't want my child going there. Is just be happy he's found somewhere he wants to go and engage with the course. Aberystwyth is a good university isn't it? I always thought it was.

sadsack78 · 15/05/2023 14:44

Tbh it completely depends on what he plans to study. Some school have better departments than others depending on the subject, which is different from the overall reputation/ impression of the uni.

It also depends on if you've been to any open days and been there in person. I have heard that Aberystwyth is a really beautiful location and might be more exciting and inspirational as a campus. If going there makes your son excited about studying and more likely to thrive, then he is making a god choice.

Your uni years stay with you forever so it is an important choice. I studied at Edinburgh University and loved it. It is a beautiful city and I'm glad I chose there over my other offers.

sadsack78 · 15/05/2023 14:45

*good choice!

lowlythirdremove · 15/05/2023 14:46

Many moons ago, I dropped out of UCL halfway through my first year. Started at Aber the next year and was so happy. Such a great three years, lived my course, made loads of friends. Great sense of community.

What does he want to study?

Equalitea · 15/05/2023 14:48

I can understand why you’d want him to go to a Russel group university. I went to one and I always hoped that my children would go to the same uni as I did but then I did postgrad at a cheaper uni and also had a great experience. I ultimately would have been happy whichever uni they went to.

I’m sure that Aberystwyth is one of the easiest uni’s to get into but I’m sure I’ve seen somewhere it’s brilliant for well being and that has to count for a lot! Also I expect that it’s a lot cheaper to live there than his other choices!

Catspyjamas17 · 15/05/2023 14:50

I got ABC at A-Level and went to my insurance choice - somewhere where I only needed CCD - an ex-poly too. In quite a grim town as well, there are definitely nicer places to live in the country. But it was great and I had a whale of a time and have done well in my career. Aberystwyth is bloody lovely - I thought I'd just find it a bit too small and hard to get home from there, but I can understand it as a choice. I think it's better to go with gut feel about a place than any league tables or worrying about what potential employers will think- I didn't know league tables even existed when I went to university in the 1990s and to me getting a degree at all was a thing of wonder coming from a working class blue collar worker family.

MrsCarson · 15/05/2023 14:52

My dd has picked Aberystwyth too, based on the actual campus (not spread out over a city), the accommodations and the interaction she has had with the staff in the department she be in. We went to two open days in two years. Saw some of the same staff again and she talked with students doing the course she'll be doing. Even went into town and ate out, the place really is lovely.
We did the same visits with another Uni and she ruled it out within 2 hours of the second visit.

Stickortwister · 15/05/2023 14:54

I have some recent experience of similar.

Ds is in his first year of a humanities degree. He ended up going to the uni which had the lowest grade requirements of all the ones on his ucas form, even though he got offers from "better" unis. The reason he chose to go there was because he loves the city and it was going to be a lot cheaper for him to live there than his London offers.
At the time I was a bit disappointed.... I went to Cambridge and thought he might do the same. But then I had a word with myself.... I've had my go - this is his choice.
And it turns out he is really really happy and is making a great life for himself in a northern city.
You have to trust them- even if it's not the choice you'd make that doesn't mean it's the wrong choice.
Or maybe it is the wrong choice for future earnings (!) but it's still their choice to make.

Scottishskifun · 15/05/2023 14:55

So Aberystwyth is actually a highly respected and regarded university it's also a incredibly old institution and King Charles studied there for a year do I'm not really sure why you don't think it's good enough??

It's also just been awarded top for lecturing and teaching standards as well as student satisfaction.....

It's also brilliant if your son has any interest in outdoor sports with British, European and World champion kayaker in its alumni.....

Just because it accepts BBB doesn't mean its not a good uni!

Catspyjamas17 · 15/05/2023 14:56

I would think the lecturing/tutoring would be better where grades are slightly lower. If students are high achievers and highly motivated you could put a donkey in front of them and they will still get top marks. Though my experience may be coloured by being put in the top set for maths GCSE with a teacher who could never explain or actually teach anything, whereas the A2 set I'd been in before had a wonderful teacher and I got 97% in the end of year test. Then went on to scrape a C at GCSE.

SmartHome · 15/05/2023 14:57

There is a big difference between Aber - green campus, attractive and Bristol and Leeds - grimey, urban, so I can see where he's coming from there. I've never visited Durham but that's a very particular collegiate system which might not appeal. Where was his fifth choice?

I think campus or city uni is a big factor for many and might be what's going on here. My DS is at school in South London and he hated Bristol and refused to apply there. I attended all the visits with him and his subject talk was woeful, I have to say and Bristol itself seemed very similar to being at school in London and I think he, understandably, wants to experience something a bit less urban and more leafy.For many of them, they are going to end up working in big cities for many years so I can understand them wanting a more relaxed and pleasant environment as a student.

gogohmm · 15/05/2023 14:58

DD's friend dropped out of Cambridge and went to Leicester, she said Leicester was far better all around including quality of teaching because the staff had time for you. She has complex additional needs and she got lots of support but was left to sink at Cambridge.

ladykale · 15/05/2023 14:58

Scottishskifun · 15/05/2023 14:55

So Aberystwyth is actually a highly respected and regarded university it's also a incredibly old institution and King Charles studied there for a year do I'm not really sure why you don't think it's good enough??

It's also just been awarded top for lecturing and teaching standards as well as student satisfaction.....

It's also brilliant if your son has any interest in outdoor sports with British, European and World champion kayaker in its alumni.....

Just because it accepts BBB doesn't mean its not a good uni!

The royal family are not known to be particularly academically clever or high achieving so I'm no idea why Prince Charles would be used as some sort of benchmark for success!!

I've barely heard of the uni and no doubt it will be the same for many employers. Many better unis OP's son could get into

Datingpuzzle101 · 15/05/2023 15:00

ladykale · 15/05/2023 14:58

The royal family are not known to be particularly academically clever or high achieving so I'm no idea why Prince Charles would be used as some sort of benchmark for success!!

I've barely heard of the uni and no doubt it will be the same for many employers. Many better unis OP's son could get into

Show quote history

I do love Mumsnet at times like this 🤣

ladykale · 15/05/2023 15:00

Catspyjamas17 · 15/05/2023 14:50

I got ABC at A-Level and went to my insurance choice - somewhere where I only needed CCD - an ex-poly too. In quite a grim town as well, there are definitely nicer places to live in the country. But it was great and I had a whale of a time and have done well in my career. Aberystwyth is bloody lovely - I thought I'd just find it a bit too small and hard to get home from there, but I can understand it as a choice. I think it's better to go with gut feel about a place than any league tables or worrying about what potential employers will think- I didn't know league tables even existed when I went to university in the 1990s and to me getting a degree at all was a thing of wonder coming from a working class blue collar worker family.

It's the whole point of uni improving employability, therefore why wouldn't someone consider how employees would view a particular uni?

LauraNicolaides · 15/05/2023 15:00

YABU.

Catspyjamas17 · 15/05/2023 15:01

I've barely heard of the uni and no doubt it will be the same for many employers.

That would suit me just fine, as I wouldn't want to work for parochial snobs who hadn't heard of Aberystwyth.

gogohmm · 15/05/2023 15:02

Aberystwyth is a well respected university, ok not top tier but solid. I live near Bristol and I wouldn't want to live there either! So busy and built up, halls spread out (though if students have cars they can live out where I am and commute, public transport sucks)

Catspyjamas17 · 15/05/2023 15:02

It's the whole point of uni improving employability

It really is not the whole point of university. HTH.

memoirsofatrespasser · 15/05/2023 15:03

I've barely heard of the uni and no doubt it will be the same for many employers.

And that says WAY more about you than it does about Aberystwyth!

I went to Aber, have a postgrad from an RG and up until a year ago was senior lecturer / course director for the highest-ranking course in my subject, also at an RG.

So, my lowly, humble beginners at this unheard-of university didn't do me too much harm.

The snobbery on here is just ridiculous.

memoirsofatrespasser · 15/05/2023 15:04

*beginnings 🙄

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