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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want my son to go to a higher achieving Uni?

317 replies

Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 13:59

My son now has A star AA at A-level and is on his year out. He has four unconditional offers from universities (going this September) and three of those unis are considered ‘top’ - Bristol, Durham and Leeds. However, he wants to go Aberystwyth - who have also offered him a place. We think he is aiming too low (most students on the course will have BBB whereas our son has A star AA). AIBU?

OP posts:
eggsbenedict23 · 16/05/2023 20:42

Oxbridge alumni on Mumsnet. How often (after graduating) did you return to your university's for your May Balls?

Mirabai · 16/05/2023 20:48

Medieval French is ace!

Carleslireis · 16/05/2023 20:57

@eggsbenedict23 I went to a couple of garden parties after graduating but not balls. I do sometimes go to interesting lectures etc as alumni get a discount at the continuing education department. And of course I’m still in touch and meet up with my friends 🙂

Lovepeaceunderstanding · 16/05/2023 21:00

Breezycheesetrees · 15/05/2023 14:18

In my experience "high achieving" often means "high proportion of intake from elite schools" and says very little about the quality of teaching - a prestigious research uni will likely not put their best resources into teaching at undergrad level. Far more important for him to study the right course in a place he will be happy.

I’m very curious about your experience that informs this comment?

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 16/05/2023 21:37

I was doing Spanish and Catalan as well and didn't want my one and only French lit module to be Medieval. That's all. I much preferred studying c18th Germinal, Huis Clos etc and the year I did Canadian lit.

GeraltsBathtub · 16/05/2023 21:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

AllegraWalterJones · 16/05/2023 22:18

eggsbenedict23 · 16/05/2023 17:20

@AllegraWalterJones what would you consider on par with Oxbridge?

Hmm, difficult question. That really depends on perspective.

In an environment where everyone has a good degree, and the subject is irrelevant, I don't think any other generalist universities have the same prestige. Except for Imperial College London and LSE as well as the UK, but these are specialist schools.

This is bearing in mind my background as an international student, job hunting in very competitive markets like Singapore and Hong Kong. These places heavily emphasize academic achievement. A degree from a highly ranked university is a minimum, you are competing not just with UK graduates but Ivy League etc.

Regardless of degree subject those universities open doors - visibly impress interviewers/colleagues, special recruitment events, etc. Degree subject matters for the rest - people would be impressed with Physics at Edinburgh, but not History. While even something like Theology from Oxbridge would be highly regarded.
People from other unis might need more relevant work experience, while graduates from these 'prestige' unis get interviews regardless. Basically people don't look past the name.

That's how 'I' measure it. Of course, people in academia and other fields beg to differ, but then again if you go down the route of 'field specific' then there's no need to discuss prestige, it's dependent on what your future career requires.

These things are probably not that relevant for British graduates though.

AllegraWalterJones · 16/05/2023 22:18

*as well in THE uk

ChocChipHandbag · 19/05/2023 00:21

eggsbenedict23 · 16/05/2023 20:42

Oxbridge alumni on Mumsnet. How often (after graduating) did you return to your university's for your May Balls?

Never. And I never saw any alumni at the ones we attended while there. Would have been weird.

eggsbenedict23 · 19/05/2023 08:27

ChocChipHandbag · 19/05/2023 00:21

Never. And I never saw any alumni at the ones we attended while there. Would have been weird.

Ah ok. I ask because I've seen that alumni are allowed to attend. The balls look fabulous from what I've seen on YouTube.

Hawkins0001 · 20/05/2023 00:17

eggsbenedict23 · 19/05/2023 08:27

Ah ok. I ask because I've seen that alumni are allowed to attend. The balls look fabulous from what I've seen on YouTube.

On oxfess, some are saying the priority for tickets to the balls should be primary for current students rather than previous alumni.

HPFA · 27/07/2024 10:49

Namingchangeagain · 15/05/2023 15:48

To answer some questions - he would be doing International Relations and French (joint honours). He likes Aberystwyth because he’s spent his whole life in London and has barely seen the sea/countryside! And actually he also has an offer from Swansea which he also prefers over Durham, Exeter and Leeds 🥲

Hi @Namingchangeagain I realise this is an old post but DD has just been offered a place on this course through Early Clearing.

Did your son go to Aber in the end and is he happy?

Many thanks

JMSA · 27/07/2024 17:20

YABU.

Gilead · 29/07/2024 18:37

@HPFA. Dd went to Aber, She loved it. She has made friends people with whom she meets regularly. (17 of them went on holiday together this year and plan to do it again)! Her 2:1 in Lit has got her an excellent job in the charity sector.

Gilead · 29/07/2024 18:38

And I can generally write a cleare sentence than that which I have produced!

Tricho · 29/07/2024 18:40

You know that once he graduates and enters the world of work that in 99% of situations no one will give one shiny shite where he went, yes?

Unless it's oxbridge, seriously, no one cares.

HPFA · 29/07/2024 20:54

Gilead · 29/07/2024 18:37

@HPFA. Dd went to Aber, She loved it. She has made friends people with whom she meets regularly. (17 of them went on holiday together this year and plan to do it again)! Her 2:1 in Lit has got her an excellent job in the charity sector.

Thank you @Gilead - glad to hear your DD did well there.

I've checked out some old Mumsnet threads on the uni and they seem overwhelmingly positive so fingers crossed. The course looks amazing - I quite fancy doing some of the modules myself!

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