To want my son to go to a higher achieving Uni?

[Namingchangeagain]

My son now has A star AA at A-level and is on his year out. He has four unconditional offers from universities (going this September) and three of those unis are considered ‘top’ - Bristol, Durham and Leeds. However, he wants to go Aberystwyth - who have also offered him a place. We think he is aiming too low (most students on the course will have BBB whereas our son has A star AA). AIBU?

I think you need to discuss his reason for picking the one he has, in a non confrontational way. And in a way that isnt just you telling why he is wrong until he gives in. But, ultimately, you need to accept this is his choice

I agree with this.
I mean, both Aberystwyth and Swansea are hardly low institutions.

You have to look at the whole picture, and by that I mean outside of MN too.

@Scottishskifun I totally agree this should be the case, but this simply isn't true. I only have knowledge of London centric city jobs, but university does matter when it comes to recruitment (only at the graduate scheme type level), after that work experience starts to become more important,

It's also unlikely that OP's son would have an awful time at the other unis mentioned, all of which have great student life etc.

The idea that uni isn't for employability is why so many grads end up on minimum wage without having really thought through the point of going to uni

Honestly I went to Cambridge for my field of work. No one and I mean no one asks me where my degree is from. I wish I'd gone somewhere lower down. Since doing masters, my best experience has been at a lower down then one of the UK's top 10 universities. All they are bothered about is doing their research. The help support and teaching is shocking. They are in their own world and it shows. I can't wait to finish its miserable.

Fair enough, but not everyone has that experience. Most people leave IB and move on to interesting and lucrative careers in other industries or other areas within finance using their experience.

He is probably going to do what he wants to do.

I guess so long as he is aware of the consequences of his choices and you aren't the ones paying for it then fine.

Going to a place to study because it is beside the seaside doesn't sound like a great choice to me. Maybe he should go to uni in a place with a better reputation and get a summer job by the sea if he like it this much. Then he will really be able to take advantage of it, at uni most of the time will be spent studying.

Personally I would always choose the university with the best reputation possible. Bristol, Durham and Leeds are all excellent.

Yes, as I said, I moved to a startup tech company and make double what I made at the IB. That's also not the point for an undergrad.

Historically, Aber has been really well regarded for Arts and especially MFL. It used to be one of the few places you could do joint honours courses like this, so snapped up bright students who wanted something specific.

I teach a humanities subject at a smaller university where students come in with averages grades ABB but some a lot lower. I've also taught at a RG uni where students came in with AAA/AAB. I don't teach differently now than I did then. Especially because my experience is that A level grades aren't a great predictor of how well a student will ultimately do.

As PP has said, at a small institution, bright and committed students can get a lot of attention. I give students who want to excel lots of extra tutorials, help with post grad applications, etc that I never got at the "better ranked" institution I attended for my own first degree.

I also see a lot of students pressured into taking certain routes by parents who think it will be better for them transferring over into our department. No one does well when they're unhappy. Let your son make his own choice.

I picked a uni quite far down the league tables over Durham. This was 25 years ago. I picked the uni based on the scenery :) and the 'vibe'! Which didn't go down too well with my mum! But honestly it was the best decision I've ever made! Best years of my life! I went on to get an MSc from a red brick (not on purpose, it happened to be the place I was sponsored by my employer to go), then a PhD from a random!

Ultimately noone cares where your degree is from. A few older white men of a certain age say a bit of 'well done' when it's a degree from a red brick, but they r fewer and far between! Ultimately, enjoying the uni experience is the most important thing IMO!

Aber means your son is probably thinking about a holistic view - study/work/life balance - which is amazing. I'd be 100% behind him going there. Too many people enter a rat race of a life way too early and never get off the treadmill. If your son is sensible enough to know academics are important but not the only thing - and health and happiness are important too - then he's on to a winner.

Well this is daft. Who decides whether the reason is good enough?

He might have a reason he thinks is great but you don't, and what you highly value he may not be bothered about.

I don’t think YABU, job markets in top jobs are tough and employers may look at what uni candidates went to as a factor.

But sadly it’s his choice at the end of the day. If he wants to live by the seaside could he have an extended holiday this summer before going to uni?

This is MN, OP. You will be branded a snob and given a lecture about how you should never try and influence your children on anything because it’s controlling and abusive. Having aspirations for your children is considered undue privilege. You will be told how he should just go to wherever makes him happy and join the conveyor belt of graduates coming out of mediocre universities with pointless degrees.

Aber is lovely, he will have an amazing time. Uni is partly to broaden horizons and if you have lived in London it will be strange not being on edge all of the time, totally different pace of life. I know people will challenge that but Aber is very safe to be. Just remember the sea is dangerous and show him some rip tide videos! He could also learn Welsh!

I might also add that the teaching at the 'lower' status uni I went to for undergrad was far far better than the teaching on the MSc at the red brick. The latter could sit back and rest on their institutions name to get by. The former genuinely cared about the students, and the lecturers were all v passionate about their subject matter!

Obviously a small sample and only comparing two unis on different level courses! But ....

Whilst I agree it is his decision, I would be mindful of the fact that Aberystwyth is classed as one for the easiest universities to get into in the UK, with a 97.6% acceptance rate. It is worth him considering how this will look to employers if comparing job candidates.

How on earth can you teach and assess people who are only capable of getting Bs and Cs at the same level as those who got A stars?

I've barely heard of the uni and no doubt it will be the same for many employers.

Hogwash 😂 Aberystwyth is a very well known and established uni, and any employer worth working for will definitely be familiar with it.

Aber is well known for its international politics dept which I believe was one of the very first in the UK.

But yeah, 'mediocre university, pointless degree'... if you say so.

This place is so depressing sometimes.

Don't know about now but when mine was looking at unis. He looked at job prospects on completing the degree . The higher unis had worse jub prospects then so-called higher unis. So might be worth looking at .I would have thought him being happy was the most important part

Hey OP, I don't think you're wrong to express your opinion but ultimately it's your son's choice. The Guardian university rankings for International Relations from this year and Swansea isn't far behind Leeds and is higher on the list than Bristol, Aberystwyth is high in terms of modern languages. There's also Student Satisfaction rankings to consider as how well he does will surely be influenced by how happy he is with his university/ setting etc. Aberystwyth actually comes in third and Swansea also comes in ahead of the others.

In all honesty if I had to live somewhere for 3 years I'd chose Swansea or Aberystwyth over Durham and Leeds and living near a beach really does have a good impact on your mental well-being.

I’d have thought Exeter was more rural than Aber, but I’m probably wrong. I also know it’s a nightmare getting accommodation at Exeter.
I’m curious though - did he not have holidays in the countryside and by the sea?

Just because someone got Bs for A level, does not mean that's all they are capable of. I got pretty poor grades, am a member of MENSA, got a distinction for my MSc and got a pass with no revisions (hard to get) for my doctorate.

A levels are often based on memory mainly. Plus, some 17&18 year olds aren't ready to learn yet. University is a whole different thing! And people have grown up a bit by then!

On my doctorate course the few that struggled were the few with straight As at A level. They had studied v hard for the A levels, learnt to memorise well, but struggled with a higher workload and abstract thinking required if doctoral level study. (That's not to say people with straight As can't do well. I'm sure many can! Just don't disregard the others!)

I'm not going to worked up about this, because this was me when I was going to uni, and in all honesty, this probably will be me when my DC are old enough. But seeing how companies like mine recruit, I know which uni would make bigger all difference to success of a job application.

The age old tropes of being a sports captain, volunteering, time management and so on are what will get someone a job. A degree is just to get over the screening hurdle and as pp have said, in many cases now it's blind screening.

*bugger all!

Much rather my child went to a uni they wanted to go to and come out with a so called pointless degree then go to a posh university they didn’t want to and completely flunk it but of course I forgot anyone who went to a so called mediocre university is a failure aren’t they. Also FYI there are a number of graduates from the type of university you seem to love that have minimum wage jobs or aren’t working just like there’s so called mediocre university graduates who are excelling in their fields.)