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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty AIBU but… sandwiches!

389 replies

Flyinggeesei234 · 15/05/2023 12:55

I make my partner sandwiches to take to the office most weekdays.

I do this in the evening then put them in the fridge for him to take in the morning.

If he decides to work from home instead, he still eats the sandwiches, despite lots of other options instead - eggs on toast, salad, quiche etc we have in the house.

This annoys me as it seems so lazy and I have sandwiches to make again for the next day. He could save the ones I made for the following day.

I’d love to know if this would annoy others too. It drives me mad.

OP posts:
GalileoHumpkins · 15/05/2023 13:46

CreationNat1on · 15/05/2023 13:40

Do you wipe his bum bums for him too?

This way of thinking is baffling to me, do you and your partner (if you have one) never do things for each other? Do you ever do little things just because you know the other likes and appreciates them?
What's the point of being a couple if you begrudge a bit of simple human kindness.

BillyNoM8s · 15/05/2023 13:46

UWhatNow · 15/05/2023 13:44

He takes out the rubbish ‘for you’ does he? Just your rubbish then? You’ve just outed yourself as a typical domestic handmaid who gets defensive when her 1950s worldview gets challenged. Meanwhile the rest of us have husbands who don’t need their wife to be their mummy and are quite capable of doing their fair share. And that doesn’t just mean getting a big boy medal for emptying the bins once a week.

Show quote history

ConfusedConfusedConfused

Fairydustandsparklylights · 15/05/2023 13:48

Op, I find your take on this whole thing so strange. You made him lunch, so why do you care where he eats it? If he’s at home, why can’t he eat the lunch that’s already there made for that day? Why would he leave sandwiches for 48 hours when it literally takes 3 mins to make another one fresh for the following day. I don’t understand why you think it’s such a problem. I make my husbands lunch when I make my own the night before. It takes me an extra couple of mins and I know it makes him happy. He does lots of other jobs and I know he likes not having to think about what to make himself. I don’t get the comments by other posters saying why do you make him lunch? If my dh does the washing, nobody would say to him why did you wash your wives clothes too?

ShakeYourFeathers · 15/05/2023 13:48

NurseCranesRolodex · 15/05/2023 13:21

I recently came across a game changer tip, make in batches and freeze weeks in advance! Tbh it's no use now as dc left school 15 years ago but wish I'd thought of that and just lifted them out the night before. To answer your question, yes it's v annoying but maybe he's just used to his lunch being sandwiches and as its a workday it must be a sandwich day?! Less to think about which probably helps him in doing his work tasks he knows he can get it when needed.

My boss used to do this it was a lucky soo because he didn't label the sandwiches so didn't know what he was getting

They looked pretty dry tbh and no veg or sauce in them

Scalottia · 15/05/2023 13:49

BillyNoM8s · 15/05/2023 13:44

If he becomes infirm she might choose to care for him. Imagine the horror.

Do you do nothing kind for your partner?

Since when has making a sandwich become a demeaning task? My husband makes 95% of the cups of tea. Should he be outraged?

Show quote history

Mine makes 98% of the coffees. And pays for the rest! I manage the whole garden, for example. He works more hours. I take care of the pets. We share the cooking - shock horror!

Division of duties doesn't = sexism unless you let it.

Lavenderheys · 15/05/2023 13:51

Firstly who makes a sandwich and eats it two days later. Secondly stop making his sandwiches.

diddl · 15/05/2023 13:53

Op, does he ever tell you not to make his sandwiches as he'll be WFH the next day?

Blanketpolicy · 15/05/2023 13:53

I wouldn’t want to eat 2 day old sandwiches

Reminds me of a colleague I went to a week long work thing with. His wife packed him 5 days (!!!) worth of sandwiches in his suitcase to get him through the week! They must have been rank by the time it got to Friday!

Oreosareawful · 15/05/2023 13:53

I thought you were going to say he hasn't eaten them because he's at home and I would have agreed that hes a PITA.
Theres no way me or my husband would eat 2 day old sandwiches. YABU to expect him to save them.

Heronwatcher · 15/05/2023 13:55

I genuinely thought that this was going to say that despite you having made sandwiches he eats everything else in the house! Not that he’d just eaten the sandwiches you had made for precisely that purpose!

I agree, old sandwiches are gipping. And the divide is obviously not working for you. Just simply say you don’t think it’s worth bothering with given that he’s wfh and can therefore sort his own fresh lunch and save you a job.

Also re-assess other aspects of this divide, pent up resentment is a killer.

Original poster
Flyinggeesei234 · 15/05/2023 13:56

Posters are just repeating the same thing now! OK I get it re sandwiches needing to be made same day.

Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
Prettypaisleyslippers · 15/05/2023 13:58

I know someone who batch made sandwiches, put them in freezer and took one everyday to work.

2 days old sandwiches are rank OP, you are getting a hard time for a reason

BeachBlondey · 15/05/2023 13:58

There's nothing wrong with sandwiches made 2 days ago. Blimey, people are starving in the world!

SilentParrot · 15/05/2023 13:59

I love the insight you get on MN into different household dynamics. I wouldn't want to eat two day old sandwiches and it wouldn't occur to me that this could even be a source of secret ire for someone.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 15/05/2023 13:59

Bellaboo01 · 15/05/2023 13:41

Are they seriously frozen and then defrosted!! Yuck!!

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Well Ive been googling for the last 20 mins and can not find asny evidence of this so I think probably not. Happy to be proven wrong ofc.

TheyAreMyBhunasPete · 15/05/2023 14:01

UWhatNow · 15/05/2023 13:44

He takes out the rubbish ‘for you’ does he? Just your rubbish then? You’ve just outed yourself as a typical domestic handmaid who gets defensive when her 1950s worldview gets challenged. Meanwhile the rest of us have husbands who don’t need their wife to be their mummy and are quite capable of doing their fair share. And that doesn’t just mean getting a big boy medal for emptying the bins once a week.

Show quote history

What a total fucking pleb, is reading comprehension not your strong point? 😂 yes because there's MY RUBBISH IN THERE TOO. So he's TAKING OUT MY RUBBISH FOR ME. He doesnt pick it out and leave it in the kitchen. Just like I dont cook and leave his ingredients out for him. Because I married someone I actually like and we are a team. Thank fuck for that because I work full time and he works part time, doing most of the housework in the meantime. I'd be pretty fucked if he had your shitty attitude!

Muddygreenfingers · 15/05/2023 14:01

BeachBlondey · 15/05/2023 13:58

There's nothing wrong with sandwiches made 2 days ago. Blimey, people are starving in the world!

I was thinking this.
Only on Mumsnet it seems.

SilentParrot · 15/05/2023 14:03

Muddygreenfingers · 15/05/2023 14:01

I was thinking this.
Only on Mumsnet it seems.

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but given the option wouldn't you just eat the sandwiches on the day that they're made, as he's doing?

MasterBeth · 15/05/2023 14:04

Who gives a shit about "two-day old sandwiches"?

Haven't you people got fridges?

MysteryBelle · 15/05/2023 14:04

Nobody with any sense wants to eat 2 day old sandwiches. He is appreciating what you’re doing for him by eating the sandwiches for that day whether at work or at home working.

Simply have him make his own sandwiches, rework the division of tasks. It’s not that hard.

Would you want to eat 2 day old sandwiches? I wouldn’t. Yuck.

Ktime · 15/05/2023 14:05

SilentParrot · 15/05/2023 14:03

but given the option wouldn't you just eat the sandwiches on the day that they're made, as he's doing?

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But surely he knows if he's WFH the next day and can just tell OP?

Achwheesht · 15/05/2023 14:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

RandyMiceDavies · 15/05/2023 14:07

PMSL at all the people outraged about someone making someone else a sandwich.

@TheyAreMyBhunasPete I know someone who has two separate laundry baskets- one for the wife and kids, one for the husband 😭

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/05/2023 14:08

Making his sandwiches would annoy me. I wouldn't be doing that every day.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 15/05/2023 14:09

Ask him the night before whether he's WFH tomorrow.

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