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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do people not make the effort with appearance anymore

544 replies

Scarletthoo2 · 15/05/2023 11:14

The last couple of months, I've noticed in restaurants, bars and social places that majority of women/young adults have replaced heels for trainers and dresses for jeans and dress pretty much causal when out socialising in bars or eating out. Is this the new norm? Why don't people make an effort anymore? Especially the younger generation. AIBU or is this a minority?

OP posts:

Dishwashersaurous · 15/05/2023 11:14

Sigh

elephantmarchingin · 15/05/2023 11:15

YABU. Hope that helps

IrregularChoiceFan · 15/05/2023 11:16

YABU

Somebodiesmother · 15/05/2023 11:17

Because they don't want to.

3WildOnes · 15/05/2023 11:17

We would rather be comfortable.
It's been this way in London for years.

shivawn · 15/05/2023 11:17

Dressing casually doesn't mean not making an effort with your appearance.

CoconutCreek · 15/05/2023 11:18

I think it’s great. My DD and her friends dress this way and it suits them.

The whole “dressed up” look associated with high heels looks really dated to me now. It seems common in Eastern European countries now though, perhaps you need to travel if you want to socialise with appropriately “dressed up” women.

PainfulAnkles · 15/05/2023 11:18

YABU.

And also, women?
What about men?

Trainer and jeans, lile men have dressed for years now?

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 15/05/2023 11:19

The guys have been dressing like that for decades. Maybe the girls are fed up with being the only ones making an effort.

AmbleInAnnBoleyn · 15/05/2023 11:19

bleurgh.

Away with you and your policing of what women wear.

CharlottenBerg · 15/05/2023 11:19

Maybe they are 'making an effort' (and spending their money) to present an appearance you just don't happen to like?

Rainbowsandbutterflies1990 · 15/05/2023 11:19

Scarletthoo2 · 15/05/2023 11:14

Who says people who wear heels and dresses care about their appearance and people who wear jeans and trainers don't? Like where is the rule book for that?! Fascinating take! I guess u assume people who wear make up only care about their appearance too?

PiffleIsTakingThePiss · 15/05/2023 11:19

Note with interest that you didn't enable voting. I can't begin to imagine why.
Goady as fuck and ridiculous with it and also YABU.

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/05/2023 11:19

Sorry, comfort is all for me. If I have to spend an hour getting ready to go somewhere, I’d rather not go.

PainfulAnkles · 15/05/2023 11:20

I bet you’re one of those people who think that women who don’t wear make-up look ’ill’ and must be mentally ill.

JulieHoney · 15/05/2023 11:20

What an outdated way of thinking, OP. YABU

RunThroughTheJungle · 15/05/2023 11:20

shivawn · 15/05/2023 11:17

Dressing casually doesn't mean not making an effort with your appearance.

This.

Not conforming to what you like doesn't mean they aren't making an effort, they're simply following current fashions.

Sissynova · 15/05/2023 11:20

Why don't people make an effort anymore?

People don't equate wearing heels with making an effort.

TheMoops · 15/05/2023 11:21

Because people can dress how they like and in what makes them feel comfortable.

NeedToChangeName · 15/05/2023 11:21

I think it's great that women no longer feel obliged to wear heels and short skirts to satisfy the male gaze

https://www.marketingweek.com/helen-james-heels-death-patriarchy/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10127687/Are-dressing-male-gaze-TikTok-trend-sees-users-change-style-stop-pleasing-men.html

Does the end of power heels signify the death of patriarchy in the workplace?

As women continue to smash it in senior leadership positions, female marketers are increasingly ditching the armour of high heels, confident in their ability to get the job done without any props.

https://www.marketingweek.com/helen-james-heels-death-patriarchy

JamSandle · 15/05/2023 11:21

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 15/05/2023 11:19

The guys have been dressing like that for decades. Maybe the girls are fed up with being the only ones making an effort.

Yes!

Bimbom · 15/05/2023 11:21

Surely you don't still wear heels OP? Hardly anybody does that now. Why don't you make the effort to keep up with what's modern?

TrashyPanda · 15/05/2023 11:22

Because trainers don’t fuck up your feet And are designed for practical activities, such as walking. Why cripple yourself wearing heels just for the titillation of others?

because women don’t have to dress up for other people

because women have autonomy over their bodies

because it’s nobody’s business how anyone else dresses

because they have more going on in their lives to judge strangers on external appearance

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 15/05/2023 11:22

Jeans, converse and a nice top were standard night out attire where I grew up 20 years ago (not London). And most people wore casual clothes and trainers to all except the extremely upmarket restaurants. This is really nothing new.

GeraltsBathtub · 15/05/2023 11:22

Bimbom · 15/05/2023 11:21

Surely you don't still wear heels OP? Hardly anybody does that now. Why don't you make the effort to keep up with what's modern?

This. I don’t wear a bustle or a powdered wig either!

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