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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do people not make the effort with appearance anymore

544 replies

Scarletthoo2 · 15/05/2023 11:14

The last couple of months, I've noticed in restaurants, bars and social places that majority of women/young adults have replaced heels for trainers and dresses for jeans and dress pretty much causal when out socialising in bars or eating out. Is this the new norm? Why don't people make an effort anymore? Especially the younger generation. AIBU or is this a minority?

OP posts:
PurelyBelter · 15/05/2023 12:20

Floralys2 · 15/05/2023 12:15

I think it depends which shops you go in

I went in the Range and Home Bargains and saw a lot of scruffy, overweight people

I later went in M&S and everybody looked like they had a lot of respect for themselves, generally a smart appearance

Well, you know the doors in Waitrose are too narrow for us scruffy fat cunts to get through, it’s how they keep the riff raff out. They couldn’t possibly be seen to accept FAT people now could they 😱

BestZebbie · 15/05/2023 12:22

Lol, I remember my grandpa being outraged that my dad didn't wear a tie around the house, and then my dad being concerned that my husband doesn't wear one to work...

MammaTo · 15/05/2023 12:23

Yes it seems to be the new norm.

I used to really love dressing up when I was younger and I still do now - if we go for meals we’ll dress smart.

But yes younger generations don’t seem to enjoy it.

girlfriend44 · 15/05/2023 12:24

those ripped jeans are awful, dont people realise they look a state.

NerrSnerr · 15/05/2023 12:24

girlfriend44 · 15/05/2023 12:24

those ripped jeans are awful, dont people realise they look a state.

Or maybe they don't get dressed to please you. If they like them does it matter what other than people think?

Bunnycat101 · 15/05/2023 12:25

This does reflect one of the threads over the weekend of the poster feeling much too dressy compared to her friends. Dress codes are much more casual now and I think it is an excellent thing that heels have sort of disappeared. I remember so many nights as a student when people couldn’t walk in the shoes anymore and were walking home bare feet. Logic just says that it is basically stupid to wear uncomfortable shoes for hours of dancing or walking. I’ve still got my heels in the wardrobe but honestly can’t remember the last time they had an outing.

Fairyliz · 15/05/2023 12:25

I think people are deliberately misunderstanding you op.
I know what you mean; I often go out and see people in clothes that I would have relegated to gardening/decorating outfits. So ripped/dirty/bobbly clothes with unwashed hair.

PurplePineapple1 · 15/05/2023 12:25

girlfriend44 · 15/05/2023 12:24

those ripped jeans are awful, dont people realise they look a state.

Post a photo of yourself then, let us rip you to pieces for your clothing choices.

Don't people like you have hobbies? Sad.

Tolkienista · 15/05/2023 12:25

I dressed up yesterday morning for a special event......dress, heels etc.
The minute I got home I changed into jeans and trainers, never felt happier for the rest of the day just being me.

Dress however makes you feel comfortable, for yourself.

Neededanewuserhandle · 15/05/2023 12:25

PurelyBelter · 15/05/2023 12:20

Well, you know the doors in Waitrose are too narrow for us scruffy fat cunts to get through, it’s how they keep the riff raff out. They couldn’t possibly be seen to accept FAT people now could they 😱

Show quote history

😂😂

Nanny0gg · 15/05/2023 12:26

BestZebbie · 15/05/2023 12:22

Lol, I remember my grandpa being outraged that my dad didn't wear a tie around the house, and then my dad being concerned that my husband doesn't wear one to work...

See, this is why I have a problem with most school uniform

Why on earth do kids have to wear ties and blazers when they will never wear them in the workplace? (especially clip-ons and especially girls)

TheGoogleMum · 15/05/2023 12:26

Yabu I prefer to dress casually and comfortably what's so bad about that?

5128gap · 15/05/2023 12:27

MammaTo · 15/05/2023 12:23

Yes it seems to be the new norm.

I used to really love dressing up when I was younger and I still do now - if we go for meals we’ll dress smart.

But yes younger generations don’t seem to enjoy it.

They do. The dressed down look is just their way of dressing up. Those items are as carefully selected as other people's smart wear.

NewbieSoberista · 15/05/2023 12:28

I think it has come full circle now and I see more dressed up people in London. About 18 months ago I'd have said that the majority of people in London, wearing heels were drag queens, people on hen dos or out for bottomless brunch, but over the past six months or so I've noticed dressy clothes including heels on people doing normal, everyday activities as well

YourFault · 15/05/2023 12:29

This reply has been deleted

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ShimmeringShirts · 15/05/2023 12:29

@NewbieSoberista heals in the winter?! Fantastic recipe for a broken ankle or two!

LuvSmallDogs · 15/05/2023 12:29

I don't understand why some women dress up to go to the kind of pub where paint splattered men are wearing paint splattered, falling apart jeans straight from the job site.

Nor why some prefer to spend half the evening walking round barefoot and holding onto a pair of heels instead of just wearing flats (or less crazy heels) in the first place.

Still, life would be boring if we were all the same, and I care more about if I can have a laugh with someone than if we dress similarly.

MasterBeth · 15/05/2023 12:30

Wearing heels isn't making any more of an effort than wearing trainers - except in the effort it takes to walk in them.

It's called fashion. I'm surprised you hadn't noticed before now.

It's a trend that's been happening for while, accelerated by lockdown.

Ihatepickingausername3 · 15/05/2023 12:31

Actually OP I noticed the same as I went clubbing at the weekend and haven’t been for years. It was refreshing to see actually… but my friend and I did comment that in our twenties had we gone out in trainers etc you wouldn’t have been allowed in the clubs!

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/05/2023 12:31

Goady post?

DejaVoodoo · 15/05/2023 12:31

MammaTo · 15/05/2023 12:23

Yes it seems to be the new norm.

I used to really love dressing up when I was younger and I still do now - if we go for meals we’ll dress smart.

But yes younger generations don’t seem to enjoy it.

No, it's not just younger generations. We oldies aren't wearing heels either. I don't possess even one pair of heels (though I do have some sandals with a slight wedge).
I think in generations to come young people will look at pictures of high heels in history books in awe, and wonder what possessed any woman to wear them.

NewbieSoberista · 15/05/2023 12:32

ShimmeringShirts · 15/05/2023 12:29

@NewbieSoberista heals in the winter?! Fantastic recipe for a broken ankle or two!

They seem ok from what I've seen. Although I haven't worn a pair of heels myself in circa five years! I'd be tempted by a block heel maybe. Never stilettos. I'm far too clumsy

Hobert · 15/05/2023 12:32

It's just fashion. I work in law and the younger women wouldn't be seen dead in the kind of pencil skirt and heels get up that I used to wear when I was training. They don't care less about their appearance, fashions just change. I do think there is generally less emphasis on dressing in a way that pleases men, which I see as 100% a good change.

StarDolphins · 15/05/2023 12:32

Wearing what you’re comfortable in is ‘making an effort’

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/05/2023 12:33

NewbieSoberista · 15/05/2023 12:28

I think it has come full circle now and I see more dressed up people in London. About 18 months ago I'd have said that the majority of people in London, wearing heels were drag queens, people on hen dos or out for bottomless brunch, but over the past six months or so I've noticed dressy clothes including heels on people doing normal, everyday activities as well

Where?!

I mean people do wear heels still occasionally, but I don't think anything has changed in the last 6 months.