Do people not make the effort with appearance anymore

[Scarletthoo2]

The last couple of months, I've noticed in restaurants, bars and social places that majority of women/young adults have replaced heels for trainers and dresses for jeans and dress pretty much causal when out socialising in bars or eating out. Is this the new norm? Why don't people make an effort anymore? Especially the younger generation. AIBU or is this a minority?

Honestly, it's the lockdown effect.

We didn't go out, so we didn't wear heels - and we got used to our feet being comfy. (I can't actually balance in the damn things anymore - I forgot how to walk properly in them!)

We spoke to people over blurry video calls and/or Zoom calls with a makeup filter, so we got used to not bothering with makeup (and our skin got better anyway, resulting in less makeup being needed).

Women are now prioritising their comfort and their health. We should have done it a long time ago.

Are you the poster who was amazed by her friends not wearing full on cocktail dresses and heels when meeting for lunch at the weekend? Seems a very similar sentiment from your OP that there’s some unwritten expectation of how much effort and styling should be done. You know it’s 2023 right, not 1953?!

YABU, it isn’t the 80s.

Thanks xxx

I agree @Scarletthoo2

There is such thing as smart casual top,

funny enough I was thinking same thing,

I went to see a live ballet performing of cinderalla, from convent garden London,
every so often local cinema places as odean show this kind of thing,

I was thinking even though I was just watching live performance from my local town cinema 🎥 place,
wouldn't it enhance the experience of watching something like this by dressing up, for a refreshing change, !

Love some of the replies; slating misogyny while dripping with undisguised ageism.

Heels are all a bit Barbara Windsor in a Carry On movie these days. They are designed to make your arse look bigger and your legs look longer just so more men would fancy you, even though you could barely walk more than 50 metres and if there was a fire in a building you’d be last out. Standards and self-respect means wearing safe and comfortable clothing (why on earth would you even think about wearing unsafe and uncomfortable clothing?), having confidence in who you are and what you stand for, and not feeling the need to pander to outdated men’s fantasy fodder.

Of course people can wear what they like, but being of a certain age (born in the 50s) I do love looking back at old films at how people used to dress - the elegance of the 40s - 60s when going out. The fun of the 60s.

I know times have changed and people don't have time for all that faffing but I like making the occasional effort and dressing for the occasion - weddings for example.

And I will be slated for this - but when it's a 'big' race day I wish people would dress appropriately and not as though they're going clubbing. Especially when it's bloody freezing and pouring with rain. Some of them must go home with pneumonia!

Wow OP, you're very brave posting such a controversial view in AIBU!

Jeans and trainers all the way for me I'm afraid. I'm 38 if that makes any difference.

Sorry but for me you YABVVVVVU

I always see people dressed up whenever I'm out! What kind of places do you go to? If you're talking super posh restaurants or special occasions, then yeah it's a shame if people just look casual. But if it's just going to the local pub, out for tea with the family or whatever then I don't think it matters at all.

I do love to put on a nice dress and doll myself up, of course it's nice to make an effort and look nice - but I'd only ever do it for me not to be looked at by anyone else, and I do think heels look good but if it's at the expense of my comfort then I won't be wearing any!

I think making an effort with your appearance can look very different for different people depending on on your own personal style and preferences.

Exactly. Comfort is key

Well you should just stop judging . It doesn’t matter what people are wearing as long as they are happy to be wearing it. You being dressed up makes you no better than someone who isn’t. Oh and high heels are oppressive, restricting womens free movement. Get me those trainers any day.

This thread reminds me of a lunch out I had with 3 friends a couple of years ago. All of us late 60s/early 70s. My God, how they haven’t moved on! Over dressed, too much makeup, too much sparkly, clanking jewellery, high heels, clutch bags. This was a kind of gastro pub. They looked bloody ridiculous. I felt as if I were out with my 3 elderly aunts.

Indeed it does not.
I long for the effortless days of chucking on a bit of cheap lycra and slipping into some heels. These days it's all what colour, brand and style of trainers will look sufficiently stylish without requiring a remortgage? What if I accidentally choose a pair someone of my age isnt supposed to wear, and embarass myself? What rise jeans do I need to avoid looking 'dated' or is the unflattering abomination that is cargos required of me?
Am a still able to wear a 'nice top' with jeans, or is this 'agjng'? If so, where can I find a not very nice top to avoid this?
Not to mention all the additional faffery required for hair and make up to 'elevate' an outfit I'd have always worn to Tescos to something that's a suitable 'look' for a night out.

@Goodread1 and in what way did you getting dressed up enhance the acting and experience? Did you think if they saw how presentable you looked they’d do an even better job? Makeup and a pretty dress will do jack shit to improve the experience of anything, it might make you feel pretty though

I think it depends which shops you go in

I went in the Range and Home Bargains and saw a lot of scruffy, overweight people

I later went in M&S and everybody looked like they had a lot of respect for themselves, generally a smart appearance

I was in a bus in Bristol once, about 30 years ago, and out of the window, I spotted a very plump young woman walking along the pavement wearing a leather crop top, leather miniskirt, and knee boots, all black, and the visual effect was colossal muffin tops everywhere! There was a young Australian woman further back on the bus and she let out a whoop - 'Oh my God! Will you look at that!'. Then she fell quiet and said, 'Sorry folks, I didn't think'. After we got off at the same stop I told her she'd given me the best laugh I'd had for ages

You're crowing over the fact that you laughed and shamed someone who was dressed how they felt good, and who happened to be in a bigger body than you feel is acceptable? Well done. You must be really proud.

How fucking DARE women wear shoes that they can walk comfortably in. What a liberty.

These days it's all what colour, brand and style of trainers will look sufficiently stylish without requiring a remortgage? What if I accidentally choose a pair someone of my age isnt supposed to wear, and embarass myself? What rise jeans do I need to avoid looking 'dated' or is the unflattering abomination that is cargos required of me?

It is? dang, I knew I was doing something wrong just slinging on an outfit that' clean and in which I'm comfortable.

I agree. That pp seems awfully confused about her point in general, it must be confusing living life not having a chuffing clue what you’re thinking.

The “I actually get dressed” line did me 🤮

Are you taking the piss?

Being a homosexual I've only ever gone out in clothes i'm comfortable in. It has always been one of the biggest pluses about gay clubs and bars, no one gives a stuff about what's on your feet, certainly not the door staff.

Wind 'em up and watch 'em go..

I was in a bus in Bristol once, about 30 years ago, and out of the window, I spotted a very plump young woman walking along the pavement wearing a leather crop top, leather miniskirt, and knee boots, all black, and the visual effect was colossal muffin tops everywhere! There was a young Australian woman further back on the bus and she let out a whoop - 'Oh my God! Will you look at that!'. Then she fell quiet and said, 'Sorry folks, I didn't think'. After we got off at the same stop I told her she'd given me the best laugh I'd had for ages.

You sound awful

Hope you put on a nice dress to eat that biscuit.