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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do people not make the effort with appearance anymore

544 replies

Scarletthoo2 · 15/05/2023 11:14

The last couple of months, I've noticed in restaurants, bars and social places that majority of women/young adults have replaced heels for trainers and dresses for jeans and dress pretty much causal when out socialising in bars or eating out. Is this the new norm? Why don't people make an effort anymore? Especially the younger generation. AIBU or is this a minority?

OP posts:
RoseBucket · 15/05/2023 11:22

Because many of us have moved on from the 1950s. Heels are very dated now, and restaurants and bars are less formal.

Dedodee · 15/05/2023 11:23

I see not making an effort as not showering or pulling a brush through your hair.
Clean body, clean clothes and brushed hair is fine by me.

Whenharrymetsmelly · 15/05/2023 11:23

People don't make effort with anything anymore. Hell, most of MN won't even open the door to someone 🤣

Dedodee · 15/05/2023 11:23

Whenharrymetsmelly · 15/05/2023 11:23

People don't make effort with anything anymore. Hell, most of MN won't even open the door to someone 🤣

😂😂😂

TrashyPanda · 15/05/2023 11:23

Oh, and yes / YABVU

Peridot1 · 15/05/2023 11:23

I wore jeans and trainers to go out to dinner on Saturday night. I’m 59. Today in fact.

New jeans, white Fitflop trainers (need the arch support these days), new navy and white striped shirt. Hair freshly washed and styled, make up on. I felt good. Was dressed pretty similarly to most people really.

For a dressier occasion I might have worn something else but for a Saturday night meal in a pub it was fine.

SunnySaturdayMorning · 15/05/2023 11:24

It is a shame. When you see how smartly people dressed before the 60s, and now you see men wearing skinny jeans it just shows you how far society has fallen.

Parker231 · 15/05/2023 11:24

Dressing up involves wearing trainers - love them! Who wears heels now? No one!

Newusernameaug · 15/05/2023 11:24

I’m so happy and relieved to see young women prioritising their comfort over mens validation in what they feel women should wear, fuck heels! If they were that great men would want to wear them too.

Dedodee · 15/05/2023 11:24

GeraltsBathtub · 15/05/2023 11:22

This. I don’t wear a bustle or a powdered wig either!

Show quote history

I don’t know how you dare go out without your bustle and wig. 😂

Amdone123 · 15/05/2023 11:26

@Peridot1 , happy birthday ! Have a lovely day.
🎂

AmbleInAnnBoleyn · 15/05/2023 11:27

Happy birthday Peridot!

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/05/2023 11:27

SunnySaturdayMorning · Today 11:24
It is a shame. When you see how smartly people dressed before the 60s, and now you see men wearing skinny jeans it just shows you how far society has fallen.”

Well good morning, Mrs. Chomondley-Warner.

Crabwoman · 15/05/2023 11:27

Fashion changes. I remember my gran and great aunts being outraged in the 80's and 90's that young women didn't wear hats and gloves anymore. She thought they didn't make an effort.

I tend to wear heels only for weddings and super formal events now.

Tottering around the local wine bar in a smart dress and heels just looks outdated to me, and certainly to my DD's.

I think plenty do make an effort, though. I've noticed that hair and makeup up is usually immaculate, outfits are well thought out and put together - it's all just more comfortable and casual.

AmbleInAnnBoleyn · 15/05/2023 11:28

Dedodee · 15/05/2023 11:24

I don’t know how you dare go out without your bustle and wig. 😂

Show quote history

Or your pomander and rabbit's foot.

Quveas · 15/05/2023 11:28

I'm 65 and have always dressed for me, not for others. And I have always despised heels, which do not to my mind signify "making an effort" but crippling oneself for fashion. I'm glad to hear that younger people are catching on to the fact that they can be neat and comfortable and not worry about what others think of them.

TrashyPanda · 15/05/2023 11:28

Happy birthday @Peridot1 - now go away and put on a ballgown!

AngelicInnocent · 15/05/2023 11:30

My 21 year old wears heels, she also wears trainers. She wears dresses, she also wears jeans or leggings.

Her friends are the same.

In short they wear whatever the hell they feel like wearing and don't worry about what narrow minded farts think!

TrashyPanda · 15/05/2023 11:31

Im 60

i wore a dress and heels for DDs wedding last year. Haven’t worn a dress since, and apart from the wedding shoes, I only have flat shoes and trainers. Because they are comfortable and practical

Ktime · 15/05/2023 11:32

Yes, why are young women prioritising their comfort and well being over wearing uncomfortable, back-pain inducing heels for your male gaze's delectation, OP?

SallyWD · 15/05/2023 11:34

I have mixed feelings to be honest. It's great that people can be comfortable now and women aren't suffering in corsets etc. BUT occasionally I see such terrible sights! And I wish people would dress with a little more decorum...

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 15/05/2023 11:34

YABU and also an AH

But I will wear heels occasionally, if I'm super dressed up like for a wedding. Nothing about if men are looking at me, mind.

HaiIeyy · 15/05/2023 11:35

Style changes. Dressing casually does not mean no effort was made. You do you and don't worry about what the younger generation are doing.

CharlottenBerg · 15/05/2023 11:37

PainfulAnkles · 15/05/2023 11:20

I bet you’re one of those people who think that women who don’t wear make-up look ’ill’ and must be mentally ill.

That makes me as nutty as a fruitcake, as my dad used to say.

Fannehflaps · 15/05/2023 11:39

Personally I love a cute dress and heels! But each to their own, people can wear what they like and shouldn’t be judged. Only yesterday I got slated by a shit head woman because I don’t slob in joggers outside the house and I wear makeup. She assumed I routinely get my eyelashes, nails, tan done professionally, not the case, I have long natural lashes, paint my own nails and my skin is naturally a little tanned. She was basically saying I am a bad mum because I actually get dressed day to day 😂
So, let people dress how they please, if people want to make an effort, great, if not, let them happy and comfy.