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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want people to judge those who recieve benefits????

572 replies

TidyTink · 18/02/2008 21:21

Im a single mother of one,

i was working up until my DD (3) was born, rather than take a part time job that i knew i would always be stuck in i decided to get to college and study asubject that will lead me to a very hard working and well paid job so that i can fully support my DD in the future.

I hate recieving benefits and cannot wait untill i have finished my degree

Once i start at work i will be paying enough taxes in the future to more than cover the benefits ive recieved over the few yrs.

So why does everyone assume your a complete waste of space?? not all of us take advantage of the system!!!!

OP posts:
2shoes · 22/02/2008 19:15

pmsl.

needmorecoffee · 22/02/2008 19:17

Disability Bitch's take on the work thing (she has CP by the way)
here
She funny

TidyTink · 22/02/2008 20:41

'The red faces because I think that parents should provide for their children are a bit wearing'

Sorry Quattro cant let this one slide.....

So are you saying that if you recieve goverment help you are not 'supporting' your children???

My DD is fully supported TYVM, what exactly do you think the money is for???

OP posts:
Divastrop · 22/02/2008 20:46

quattrocento-you seem to think only mothers should provide for their children,though,dont you,even if it means taking a crappy job despite having the ability to get a better one with a bit of extra training/study.that would account for the i think.

although personally i can see through your attitude and realsie you have jealousy issues which are causing you to be so judgemental

lachesis · 22/02/2008 20:48

Now I see why I will soon be taking a very long break from this board: there are way too many members who are more like dogs with a bone these days.

They just can't let it go for anything.

I prefer cats.

Divastrop · 22/02/2008 20:51

needmorecoffee-PMSL@that disability bitch piece.especially dead people working as extras in eastenders.

MsSparkle · 22/02/2008 21:36

I come from a very poor background. I think that's it's all to easy to judge people who are truely struggling. The ones who judge are usually the ones who don't have a clue. It's just a shame that the ones who do cheat the system give the genuine ones who claim benefits a bad name.

I think it's great that the op is thinking ahead and aiming for a better life with her dd. It's a shame people on here can't see that.

2shoes · 22/02/2008 22:16

please NMC can i put you up for quote of the week. with your job suggestion.

needmorecoffee · 23/02/2008 07:45

hehehehe, sure.
On a serious note though, even if dd gets aPhD, who is going to employ her? She needs 24 hour help to do anything and full adaptations. She's an expensive option and she will have to communicate through a computer system that costs more than dh earns in 8 years!

needmorecoffee · 23/02/2008 07:48

condemned to a life on inadequate benefits at the mercy of a poorly funded social care system. (did you know some quadraplegics are told they can only be 'toiletted twice a day. What society tells a human being they can only wee twice a day?)
And then she's have people condemn her as workshy who enjoys watching TV all day and not contributing. And the Icapacity Benefit people will insist she presents herself for frequent 'work interviews' to ake sure she isn't faking and for some humiliation.
sheesh

2shoes · 23/02/2008 10:07

I know what you mean NMC. sadly the chances of dd ever working are so slim as to be invisible. I love the thought that people will judge her at some future time.
I would love to hear some job suggestions. but think in reality there are none. can't imagine a job that she could do.
I love being on benefits and not being able to work. I get to go to lovely meetings to talk about how disabled dd is. oh the joy.

2shoes · 23/02/2008 10:09

and don't worry MsSparkle didn't mean your dd.........jsut every one else

PersephoneSnape · 23/02/2008 10:38

can i mention here, that i am more than happy to give anyone benefits advice, specifically on jobseekers allowance, but i have an income support background and access to the codes/guidance etc on incap and the new ESA which comes in later this year. I'm better on the actual law than the procedures, because although there is procedural guidance, it can (but shouldn't) differ between offices. I can certainly tell you what should be happening though. Obviously i can't get involved in individual cases, because that would be outside my jurisdiction, but I'm happy to point people to their entitlements. I don't have cat, so start a thread and I'm sure i'll see it at some point.

I know of several instances of staff who talk to the public like they're crap. If people complain it isn't always taken seriously because it is a question of your word Vs their word and they've just swapped the phone system for a cheaper one (...) than doesn't record calls. It is worth complaining though, because whilst an individual complaint may be brushed off, more than one complaint about the same person does eventually have an effect. it is a drip-drip-drip though.

i totally take your point, custardo about courtesy costing nothing and there being better, more common sense ways of gathering information. sadly, management are obsessed with cost cutting, figures and targets that bear little relation to making someone feel more at ease with the benefits system. case in point. we now have teleteams within processing centres - and processing teams. even if a very experienced member of staff on the telephone team can help someone with a complex enquiry, they're not allowed to because that would involve too much time on the phone and there are other people waiting to have their calls answered, so the enquiry is passed to a different section and someone else will phone back (...) within three hours. You could have an answer now - but there are targets, targets, targets... they're FAR more important than an individual getting a quick answer.

i did say i don't like taklking about work when i'm not there, so I'm off to get organised and feed the ducks!

RedJools · 23/02/2008 12:37

Phew- what a long read!! There's a lot going on in this thread, isn't there? Can I stick my tuppence-worth in?
I do think that there are a lot of benefit claimants who are idle and accept a life on benefits as all they can, or should, aspire to, and these are the people who cause the problems for genuine claimants. My uncle is one of these people. he has been on IB for about 30 years, with a "bad back". He is perfectly capable of walking to the pub/ bookies and snooker club. Several members of the family have found him a job, often sticking their necks out to do so, and he has lasted a couple of weeks, before quitting for reasons like, "the bus doesn't stop right outside the factory gates- I have to walk" and that the work was "a bit boring". He infuriates me and I don't even speak to him any more, cos when I did he would whine on about "it's ok for you people who have cars" (which obviously fell out of the sky and had nothing to do with the fact that we worked to buy them!) and "I've got my shopping to do and everything!", after my poor gran, his serf, died. You can see how it would be hard for him to work, since those of us in employment don't have to shop, cook etc.
On the other hand, I know lots of lovely people who hate claiming benefits, but who are forced to do so, and who have had similar experiences to the ones detailed on here, which also makes me mad. A lot of people out there are genuinely trying to do the best for their families and work where they can, and are getting shat on from a high height.
If this government truly wants people to return to work, just stopping people's benefits is not going to acheive that. Some people will be very hesitant about re-entering the work-force, it is a confidence thing. Even going back after 6 mths mat leave I found myself nervous- imagine how daunting it must seem after years of unemployment. I think people need HELP to get off benefits if it is feasible for them to do so. And, if not, then society should provide them with a decent standard of living, without need for humiliation. I realise thsi is a bit idealised, but surely there is a better way than the current one? For some people who have been on benefits for years and who see it as a way of life, somehow their mindset has to be changed- they have to be able to see some reward in working, which at the moment doesn't exist. Why should they come off benefits? If they do get a job and it doesn't work out, they have shot themselves in the foot, as it might take ages, with no money, for them to get back into the system, if they even can. For mothers at home with kids, childcare needs to be subsidised to make it remotely reasonable. I am a vet, a job people consider well-paid (but actually far far less than people actually think!) and I work 2d a week, and by the time I pay childcare for 2 kids, petrol etc, it is hardly financially worth working, but I do it because I don't want to lose my skills. So if it is hardly worth it for me, I can fully understand why someone on minimum wage would not be busting their ass to put their kids in childcare and work. Tax credits/ WTC only goes so far. It has to be worth it for people. For those who say "stop their benefits" what do you think will then happen? That they will think "Goodness, I better get a job!" and trot off into a nice lucrative position? Or will we see more and more child poverty and desperate social situations?
I watched "The pursuit of Happyness" last night, and was awestruck by the guy's determination to do better for his kid, in a country that seemed to have no safety net. I think all those who do further study to ensure a better life for their child should be applauded for forward thinking. I'm happy to think that my taxes help support people like that, rather than my feckless uncle. My only concern is that further education is no longer a guarantee of future employment.

alfiesbabe · 23/02/2008 12:46

Excellent post Persephone - you've said it all

Quattrocento · 24/02/2008 22:04

"quattrocento-you seem to think only mothers should provide for their children,though,dont you,even if it means taking a crappy job despite having the ability to get a better one with a bit of extra training/study.that would account for the i think."

I think that BOTH PARENTS should provide for their children and that it should not, except in cases of illness or disability be the business of the taxpayer (ie me) to pay for it all.

"although personally i can see through your attitude and realsie you have jealousy issues which are causing you to be so judgemental"

Er no, I just made prudent financial decisions. What causes me to be judgemental is paying more than £50k a year in tax ...

TidyTink · 24/02/2008 22:10

Bloody hell Quattro your taxes go on other things than just 'benefits'

When you need to go to the hospital...where does the money come from?....your taxes, if you need to have a major opp....where does the money come from?....your taxes..etc etc

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 25/02/2008 08:35

If it makes you feel better Quattro, some of your tax is paying for my severely disabled daughter via DLA, therapys, hospital admissions, special schooling, the wheelchair that cost 2 grand.
In fact, probably most of it.
So its not going to any scroungers but is helping a child who got the bum cards at birth and will never know the joy of running, playing, getting married etc etc
That means someone else is paying for your roads/schools/street lights/defence/hozzie etc etc. But I bet they don't mind either.
Cos thats what society is about.
And I'd rather that than the US where children go hungry and sick people die.

Divastrop · 25/02/2008 11:55

personally,i'd be more bothered about my taxes lining the pockets of the pharmaseutical giants who make millions out of unecessary drugs every year,or to be funding weapons and shite like that.

i would rather not see a return to the days when women had no choice but to rely on their husbands for financial support,or when people who couldnt find work had to go hungry,but some people on this thread seem to think that would be a good idea,just because they are pissed off about paying tax.like they dont get enough money as it is!

Quattrocento · 25/02/2008 17:55

Thank you NMC. That does make me feel better.

Diva, you are conflating too many arguments with that. Thankfully women don't have to rely on their husbands nowadays - they can work themselves!

No-one is arguing that people who can't find work should be supported. It's the people who won't find work that I have a problem with.

And yes, of course I object to funds being wasted on unnecessary wars in the same way that I object to all waste. Don't you?

Divastrop · 25/02/2008 20:41

quattrocento-i must have misread your posts somehow as i thought you were saying that even single mums of pre-school age children should go out to work for minmum wage rather than take the oppurtunity to study whilst it is free(on benefits)so that they can be in a position to support their children without any extra help later on.

i apologise for my immature/bitchy comments.

i have a problem with people who won't work-i was married to one of those a few years ago sadly,and if i didnt get to the benefit money before him he would go and squander it all at the pub and bookies.it's people like him who should get no money atall.

spottyoldzebra · 22/12/2008 20:49

here

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