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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

clairvoyant told me to expect pain

140 replies

Lilypad26 · 14/05/2023 02:38

I was attending a private event yesterday - in an upstairs area of a restaurant. As I came out of the loo there was a woman (not part of the party but had come upstairs from the general area of the restaurant to use the loo) stood chatting to my friend. I said hello assuming it was another guest from the party that I hadn’t met.

The new lady was crying, and said she was overcome with emotion because she could see how lovely my friends future was going to be and how someone who she’d lost was by her side. I was really taken aback as it had also let to my friend crying (she lost her husband a few years ago and mention of loss is very hard for her). My friend kept telling me to take down the new ladies number as she was brilliant, but I avoided this request when I realised she wasn’t part of the party.

When I realised it was just a random lady, I was polite but clearly eager to leave the room as it was evident both were pretty drunk. I don’t think I hid it very well that I was sceptical.

My friend then said “oh lily is getting married next week tell her if her life will be ok!” The random woman asked me to look into her eyes and although I did, I struggled to maintain eye contact as I wanted to leave.

The woman then started crying again said she was so overcome with emotion as she could see so much pain in my life. I was stood quite shocked and just said ok (whilst trying to dab my friends tears still as we were supposed to be at a happy event).

Now I’m lay awake unable to sleep as I keep thinking why would someone make this up?

I will be marrying the love of my life in 5 days and this is not what I needed to be thinking about. AIBU to still be thinking about it?

OP posts:
Asiatoyork · 14/05/2023 02:43

If you have any doubts of your own, reflect on those but do not be put off by a random drunk lady who knows nothing about you and claims to be able to see the future!

Original poster
Lilypad26 · 14/05/2023 02:45

@Asiatoyork i have zero doubts in terms of marriage but my first thought went to my husband to be will be hurt and I may loose him and be widowed! (He competes in a dangerous sport)

OP posts:
Honeysuckle16 · 14/05/2023 02:54

There are very few, if any, genuine clairvoyants who can foretell a person’s future without using external hints and clues. I’ve never heard of a clairvoyant looking into someone’s eyes and then forecasting their life - happy or sad.

There are a great many people who call themselves clairvoyants but no one checks if the information they’re giving has a shred of accuracy. You didn’t know this woman, it was just a casual meeting, and it’s very unlikely that an experienced clairvoyant would give such devastating information to someone who hadn’t even asked for it.

I wouldn’t give any credibility to this woman and certainly wouldn’t change my life based on an encounter of a few minutes, especially as you say she was drunk!

It will be a good story to tell at your wedding anniversary parties but no more than that!

Jellycatbat20 · 14/05/2023 02:54

No decent psychic counsellor would hang about the ladies' loos at a private party touting for business like this, and neither would they bang on about the terrible pain ahead for someone.

You can call them clairvoyant or whatever you like but essentially they're counsellors who learn to read body language and other clues, and I say that as someone who is fairly "woo" but has very little patience with most of these charlatans.

Watch some Derren Brown for insights into how these people operate, and be happy that you're marrying the man you love in a few days time. Life is inherently dangerous, every day's a risk. No one knows for sure what lies ahead in life, things can change at any moment.

She sounds drunk and a bit unstable.

RobertsRadio · 14/05/2023 02:55

I've been to three different "clairvoyants" over a number of years and nothing any of them ever said came true. A friend accompanied me to one of them and none of her predictions came true either. So please try not to worry.

Also, I've never heard of a reputable clairvoyant seeking out someone to tell them their future without being paid upfront and especially to give them bad news like that. She was careful not to give you any details wasn't she, just some vague talk about pain that could be interpreted in a dozen ways. She sounds like an attention seeking drunk.

Original poster
Lilypad26 · 14/05/2023 02:59

Thank you all for making me think more rationally - I think the thing that keeps going round my head is why on earth would someone say something like that when they have just been told that I’m about to get married. I’d never want someone to worry at a time like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilypad26 · 14/05/2023 03:02

Although if she could read minds all that kept going round in my head when she looked into my eyes was “god why have you made my friend cry with your nonsense” so she may have been angry at that 😂

OP posts:
Happycroc · 14/05/2023 03:05

I was in hospital last month walking to the shop and a lady in a wheelchair approached and said she was excited for the arrival of our daughter, not to worry about her being our first child and that she would also be a great big sister one day. I smiled and thanked her… I had a baby boy, he’s child number 3 and very definitely our last!! DH and I had a good laugh about it!

crazy would be clairvoyants everywhere! Ignore what they said and look forward to your big day!

Loria · 14/05/2023 03:08

Well thing is, at some point in your life you will experience pain. We all do. So she's not wrong on that score but it doesn't indicate she has special powers.

This lot always use wide enough phrases that make people think what they're talking about is relevant to their lives.

But really she's just a pisshead talking nonsense outside toilets. Enjoy your wedding 💒

porridgeisbae · 14/05/2023 03:08

Could she have meant pain in your life to date, rather than future?

As someone who's read tarot professionally (although I don't believe in it now) I can say that drunken psychic readings are even less accurate than normal ones. It was thoughtless of this drunken woman- please try and forget this ever happened xx

Original poster
Lilypad26 · 14/05/2023 03:11

@porridgeisbae no she definitely didn’t mean life to date. As I laughed and said “so you’re saying I shouldn’t get married” and she replied “no I can’t tell you that but you will experience a lot of pain”

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilypad26 · 14/05/2023 03:13

@Happycroc congratulations on your baby boy!

sorry but your story did make me giggle! I’d have loved for you to have bumped into her again once he’d arrived!

OP posts:
Tellmeimcrazy · 14/05/2023 03:14

Any clairvoyant worth their salt wouldn't give a reading if they were drunk it really is as simple as that.

Dedodee · 14/05/2023 03:23

The woman you met doesn’t sound at all professional and therefore probably enjoys upsetting people. I would forget what she said.

Enjoy your wedding and your future. Ignore the drunk lady.

misslooloo · 14/05/2023 03:23

She was probably hoping to put the fear in you so you’d book a session with her to find out more (more bollocks imo). It all comes down to money.

Don’t give her another thought.and I hope you have the best wedding day xx

Bloopsie · 14/05/2023 03:24

Sounds like an average drunk…dont take any notice.

HowDoYouDoWhatYouDoToMeIWishIKnew · 14/05/2023 03:25

I had a friend once who used to do this sort of thing when pissed, she really believed that she just knew stuff as she had drunkenly predicted a couple of friends break ups (total psychic ability, and nothing to do with the fact the boyfriends were crap, of course). It got really annoying and a huge chunk of her nights out were spent in toilets telling people vague details about their futures.

With the generic nonsense this woman is spouting she has a good chance of being right, most of us have lost someone close, half of marriages last, your mate will probably have a lovely future. Any of us could hazard a pretty good guess at what life will be like for others.

People who genuinely believe they are psychic don't hang around toilets giving unsolicited readings to strangers and crying, she sounds like she's just a drunken attention seeker.

Tlolljs · 14/05/2023 03:26

Perhaps you’re going to stub your toe on your wedding day.
Ignore the silly woman.

gazpachosoupday · 14/05/2023 03:29

I wouldnt be so sure she was drunk.

But I also dont think she is legit either, if you were honest with yourself, have you thought, I wonder if I go for a reading with her I might get some more information?

Thats how some of the very shitty ones work,

"You are going to have loads of pain, if you pay me £150 a minute I will let you know more and how to avoid it"

Original poster
Lilypad26 · 14/05/2023 03:39

@gazpachosoupday she didn’t mention money but equally I didn’t ask for more information I just wanted to get away!

OP posts:
SisterSister23 · 14/05/2023 04:06

I think that's too general. Ofcourse you will experience pain in your future - everyone does at some point - physical or emotional. I think she just wanted to f with you for being cynical!

TheShellBeach · 14/05/2023 04:19

They're all charlatans and of course none of them can see into the future.
It's nonsense.

gazpachosoupday · 14/05/2023 04:25

Lilypad26 · 14/05/2023 03:39

@gazpachosoupday she didn’t mention money but equally I didn’t ask for more information I just wanted to get away!

She wouldnt mention money at first.

Its a scam, think of it like a love scam.

Use the right language, build it up, its never sale your house and give all your money to me. Its lend me £50, £100 and then the lead up.

Personally, I would have a word with your friend, make sure she is not going down this route.

And if you think well, it didnt work with me, you have to think, how many other people might she have tried it on with

Riapia · 14/05/2023 04:27

Would you really base one of the most important decisions in your life on the advice of an over emotional drunken woman?

HabitatRat · 14/05/2023 04:36

The look into my eyes thing is a bit weird. Clairvoyants go by energy, and any one who is genuine (they do exist), wouldn't just go up to random person, especially whilst drunk.
I've seen future events in my own life. I have done since I was a kid, but if I started seeing someone else's, I wouldn't just go up to them and tell them. You just don't do that.