To think a secondary school choir rejecting an 11 year old based on their voice is horrible?

[tigerdrew]

Just had DD come in upset. It's quite random as it's the middle of the night and a weekend and we had a nice day today, told me she is still sad about how she is a bad singer and she doesn't want to see her music teacher as she is too embarrassed etc etc

DD tried out for the school choir which is done by audition so obviously she was aware there was some kind of judging involved and so was I but I do think rejecting a year 7 into something they are interested in trying is harsh, especially when it's hard enough for year 7s.

AIBU to think a school choir should just be for whoever is interested? When kids are all singing in a group they do sound the same anyway! Obviously maybe solos could be kept for the particularly talented but I'm honestly just a bit sad and even annoyed.

Just for arguments sake, you could consider that it’s far easier (and cheaper?) for parents to access “fun” singing groups outside school than it is for talented singers who could excel to access selective orchestras or professional tuition outside school.

Lets remember that music lessons are part of the curriculum for all 5-14 year olds- they’re not denied access to a musical education.

Schools have trained music teachers to hand to stretch those with higher abilities but limited resources.

I don’t know, some people are talking as if being in a school choir is the holy grail- essential for a happy well balanced teen/pre teen and a source of great joy. It’s being a bit romanticised.

In my experience, a lot of pupils left after the first term and found it rather boring to practice the same songs over and over, particularly those who weren’t very musical.

You’re misunderstanding what I’ve said.
You seem to think that people should only do music or sport or art with a view to entering competitions. A very limited mindset.
I don't think they should only do those things with a view of competitions.
I think it's reasonable that nurturing those who demonstrate promise in those fields is a good thing.

Since we’re being facetious, I’ll lower myself to say that regarding, for example, the Maths Olympiad, I would think it more important that every child in the school learns Maths rather than that one or two train for the Olympiad and the rest do no maths at all.
Not comparable as all students learn maths in their maths lesson, and a mathematics enrichment opportunity can be there for those who show promise.
Same for music.
Students get music lessons as part of their curriculum, and then there's musical enrichment for those who show musicality.

Regarding sports, I’d rather see all children achieve a good level of fitness and enjoyment of sports than that ten are chosen for a team and the rest do nothing.
Again, students have access to PE in the curriculum.

The gifted few are perfectly free to enter competitions and pursue whatever they like to a higher level - if not at school than outside of it.
This is where you're missing the point.
You're viewing it as the gifted Vs everyone else.

The way I see it is the very gifted will already have a range of enrichment from home.

There's a wide range of children with an aptitude for different areas and staff can see potential in who can be nurtured in school enrichment and have access to opportunities they'd not otherwise have.

By focusing lowering the expectations and opportunities, and lowering the exposure to arts, music, sport to the bottom of whoever wants a go, it ensures that all the children who have potential and have demonstrated an aptitude for an area don't get a chance.

What we end up saying is that for the parents who can afford private schools, who can afford lots of tuition, who can afford to be a member of several out of school sports teams, THEIR children get to excel and develop their talents. But for all the other children with talents and aptitudes, they don't get to nurture those gifts because your average state school should focus on general fitness, getting people to scrape through their exams, and a limited diet of music and drama in order to pitch enrichment for those who don't demonstrate an aptitude.

Not everyone is good at everything. If I had to choose between helping nurture the talent of 45 students who've shown an aptitude Vs the 2 who've shown no aptitude but want to show up and their parents are moaning, why should 45 children lose out?

However you resist competition in life, it exists. This is a hard way to learn the lesson for your daughter but I wonder if she would have enjoyed trying to sing as well as the best. I think that would have been more disheartening. The less import you give to it, the less she will.

I wasn’t allowed in the chamber choir at school as, in honesty, I can’t sing 😂
They had a regular (non-chamber) choir for us losers but we just sung in a classroom at lunch, never allowed in front of anyone else. Lol excellent set up in hindsight.

Dontworkmondays
🤣
I didn't get into chamber choir and I could sing, and at that point was a competent sight reader too. I just wasn't good enough.

This thread has shown me I should have spent the last few decades moaning about how that rejection ruined my confidence and I never sang again, instead of being disappointed and getting on with life.

This.
URBVU

I don’t think she should necessarily get into a group that requires a certain skill level and f she doesn’t have that level of skill.
but it would be good if there were more groups then to cater for those with that aren’t good enough for anything else, so like a fun or hobby group, because it’s great that your daughter wants to so such a good things. They could still put on shows- don’t see why not. Just wouldn’t be a competitive level or so…

It is very tough, but it was very brave of her to audition. I understand it is possible to train yourself to sing in tune, so she could take it as a life challenge, if she wants to. Good luck to her.

Maybe try singing lessons and try again next year. It’s important for your DD to find something she enjoys and is good at, that way she will succeed. Everyone has things we are really good at and things not so, don’t take it as rejection take it as something that can be worked on or find something you have noticed she has natural ability at. X

Me too .. can’t sing a note was told this when rehearsing a Xmas play at primary and was awful at sports too so much so the pe teacher had a funny nickname for me …my daughter is equally as bad at all sports but oddly has a very good signing voice must have got that from her dads side as no natural talent to be found on mine 😂

I agree with you. There should be a choir for everyone interested and a small chamber choir by audition.

Do you really go around telling young kids they aren't good at something? That seems so sad...

But how do they find out if you don't tell them? Its not fair to let them labour under the delusion that they are quite good.