to think 25 year olds shouldn't be hanging around with 18 year olds?

[razzille]

My daughter is 18 and has plenty of friends a similar age to her (the oldest is 21). However, there's this 25, almost 26 year old who seems to be integrating with her and her friends an awful lot. She is often there on nights out with, has been at sleepovers, etc. it's rather strange to me. What I like even less is it's not like she is particularly delayed for her age (she lives on her own etc) and often DD and her friends will be at her place or 2 of DD's friends are sixth formers/in college and she has picked them up from literally school before. I just find it all a little strange. I can't see what a 26 year old has in common with teenagers.

The 25 year old in the OP is not a married mother though, so the fact you are is irrelevant.

Never said nearly 30.

Alway said she was almost 26. I'm really not changing the age.

As I say, I don't know what it is that I'm exactly worried about but as PP have said, it's just uncomfortable the idea of a woman who is middle 20s finding joy in driving to a secondary school to pick up some sixth formers and bring them to her place, "sleepover" with them (I'm not sure if it's called that once an adult either but considering I see my DD as the teenager she is, I still call it that). I get the whole they're adults why does it matter but as I say, some of them were 17 not so long ago (and they knew her then too!) I just find it all a bit weird.

Especially as it seems like she doesn't have a group of friends her own age, obviously I don't know this for sure but considering she is always wish DD and her friend group, it seems unlikely.

Depends what the friendship is about. You can easily share a common interest, do a particular activity, or be involved in a community across all age groups. Nothing strange here.

But... so what? What harm do you think will come of any of it?

Really not an issue at all (and a bit ageist?)

perhaps she is a young 25,
and the 18 year olds are trying to be more mature.

Yes I’d be wary.

She will probably be perfectly fine but even the concept of meeting up with someone who you met on an online game is weird to me - but I know people who have done this (and they are a little bit out there).

18 year old me and 25 year old me were 2 different girls.

She might prefer the social life of an 18 year old then people her own age, or she might not have friends her own age - but this raises the question of why?

perhaps all the 25 year olds are in relationships?

If the daugher had a friend who was the same age, but was married with a child she is at a completely different life stage to the daughter

I cant imagine much worse than hanging around with people in the same " life stage" now. I'm trying to build something that resembles a life outside of mundane family stuff . I dont want to go back to hanging round with people based on our shared parental and employment statuses.sounds dull as hell.

I always had older friends as a teen.

Come on OP you said closer to 30

I work at a University and students of all ages hang around together so to me it's not odd. 18 year olds will often be in Halls and classes with more mature students.

At university one of my friends was ten years older than me, I'm 52 and we were still in touch until she died last year.

I met one of my best friends when she was 20 and I was 32, we speak several times a week and are going on holiday together next week, with another friend who's eight years older than me.

Nothing weird in any of these friendships.

I don’t think I would be overly comfortable with this

a group who are still at school why would an adult want to be friends with them

if your dd had met her through a hobby I would get this but it’s an adult hanging around the group this group it’s odd

They're all adults. Non issue.

DS is 19 and has work friends of all ages inc his boss who is in his 40s. They get on extremely well.

But that’s the difference. You are married and a mother. You will be in a very different life stage to someone who is 27 but still living at home and a student who has taken time out to travel in her gap year.

Mine wouldn't be.

When I was 18/19 I had plenty of friends in their mid-twenties - of both sexes. It was totally normal for us all to go out drinking and to stay round someone's house at the end of the night - normally with the people who were older and lived alone as it meant not disturbing parents or having to stick to a curfew.

I find it such a shame that so many people limit their friendship circles based on random rules they seem to have made up in their heads.

I think it's odd. I was a teacher at that age. She could've been my pupil. Unless there's a really reasonable explanation, say they met at parkrun or a boardgame cafe night and have a shared hobby, it's odd.

Sometimes it's more about developmental stages than years if that makes sense

When I was in my early twenties I had close friends in their early thirties, who I met at work. It never seemed to be a problem.

I remember a thread a few years ago from a woman who was frothing because one of her DDs hall mates was a man of about 28.

She didn’t think halls should be mixed sex, never mind mixed age, and couldn’t understand that the poor bloke would probably be begging to be moved, rather than peering through keyholes trying to perv on female students 😂

These young people have met through a common hobby, same as if it was cycling, or chess.

OP says they met through a shared hobby.

You keep saying it seems a bit strange but none of the girls in the friendship group seem to think so. The only person it seems strange to isn't actually a part of the group. That seems a bit strange. Why are you so invested in their business?

Surley mixing with more mature people is a part of how you move through life stages and mature yourself.