to think 25 year olds shouldn't be hanging around with 18 year olds?

[razzille]

My daughter is 18 and has plenty of friends a similar age to her (the oldest is 21). However, there's this 25, almost 26 year old who seems to be integrating with her and her friends an awful lot. She is often there on nights out with, has been at sleepovers, etc. it's rather strange to me. What I like even less is it's not like she is particularly delayed for her age (she lives on her own etc) and often DD and her friends will be at her place or 2 of DD's friends are sixth formers/in college and she has picked them up from literally school before. I just find it all a little strange. I can't see what a 26 year old has in common with teenagers.

When I was 19 one of my dearest friends was a 15 year old boy. He parents thought it was very odd and wouldn’t allow me to go to his house or him to come to mine. We would meet up and sit in McDonald’s or the like. We are still friends today but at 48 and 44 the age gap doesn’t seem as big.

When dd was 19 she moved away for work and one of her cost friends she made there is almost 30. It’s fine.

Three years? Covid was a year

My DD has just gone on holiday, the youngest in the group was 18. I don't find it strange. Holidays used to be club 18-25.

She's not a boy though. She's for years older than the 21 year old, who is three years older than the 18 year old, so what's the difference really?

What are you afraid of?

If 18 year olds shouldn’t hang out with 25 year olds, it’s going to make family mealtimes awkward in this house.

@razzille I'm with you OP, don't agree with the PPs. Your daughter's friendship group is mostly composed with ppl similar ages and presumably all still students. Why a 26 year old woman who lives on her own (and likely to have a job, etc) would want to hang out with a group of ppl who are younger than her and on a different path to life is anyone's guess.

When I was 25 I had already finished university by some other years and had a job and like minded friends, why would I want to be friends with a bunch of (not immature but not as mature as I was) students?

Trust your mother's intuition, something not quite right there

YABU. It's not a hugeee age gap in the grand scheme of things. I made friends with a 27 year old when I was 21 (22 now).

This is weird. I am 28 and 18 year olds have felt like a different species since I left uni at 22.

It's very weird. Once you finish uni, start working and making friends on a similar wavelength, why would you want hang around a bunch of teenagers (unless they're your younger siblings or cousins)? What do they talk about?

When I was 18 I had friends of all ages. It’s really not weird at all. At 18 you stop hanging out with people based on age - you’re an adult now. Do you only have friends who are your exact age too?

It was club 18 - 30 !!

When I was 15/16, I had a few friends in their 20s as in the 80s, 15 year olds could get into pubs and clubs. My mum wasn't happy about it but I'm 51 now and I'm still friends with these people. Spoke to one of the guys today.
My daughter is 24 and my son is 18. They socialise together a lot - some of his friends, some of whom are young women are and in sixth form, are friends with my daughter and her friends so I guess that would be the same as your scenario. I don't think it's strange at all. I think it's a good thing that both of my children have friends of different ages and sexes.

My 18 year old son had friends ( boys and girls) round for a bbq tonight. The ages ranged from 17 to 22. My daughter, 25 happened to be home and so she joined them. I was sat in another room and at one point could hear them all talking about what their experiences of lockdown were and comparing the impact dependant on their age. I think it's good to have friends of different ages and although this girl is older maybe she shares interests with this group? People do mature at different rates so she may just feel more comfortable with younger friends. What does you daughter say they do together? I'd check she isn't "calling the shots" in case she likes to boss younger ones about!

When I was 16 to 18, I was dating 24 year old to about 26. Mom said no to 30+ I was very mature for my age and high school boys were just too immature. We lived on an Air Force base so dated some airmen and guys I met through jobs. Older guys had jobs, cars etc. NONE of them tried anything with me. All great guys. I later ending up marrying someone just a month older than me.

Well my 17 yo dd is in the forces and has friends who are 17-30.
They're all young adults (she is frustrated she can't go out drinking though!)

I agree that it's odd. Some people here are talking about having friends considerably older than them, but when you're only 18, the gap between 18 and 25 is huge!
If I were 25 and hanging around with 18 year olds, I'd wonder where I'd gone wrong.

Even if it is weird what is the actual problem? Do you think she has an ulterior motive?

18 year olds are adults, so are 25 year olds. It's more strange that people consider 18 year olds to be children who should only be friends with other 18 year olds. When your an adult you can have friends of any age.

What exactly concerns you about this friendship?

I think if it was a boy, a lot of people would think it was rather weird too.

Because of the potential sexual element. Is that what you're worried about?

How did they meet? When I was 18 and definitely after school there were older people in our group. You get to that age and it stops being so clearly defined in my experience. I was dating a 27 year old at 19.

Why not? They're all adults....

This would be normal in a workplace and you wouldn’t comment on it.