Is this normal for a hen do?

[Worthyoflove]

My friend is getting married.

Hen do is in June and hosted at home as there will quite a few pregnant women and breastfeeding so a night out drinking is off the table. Instead will be games in the garden and a bbq and they’re asking for £25 a head. There will be atleast 10-20people there so not a small amount of cash.

Is this normal these days? It’s really put me off going. I’d rather bring some food to the bbq (I could do the whole lot for less than £50!)

@ShowUs "You think £250-500 is a normal amount to spend on a BBQ?

Most of the people going are children or pregnant so it’s not like it will be spent on alcohol.

A bag of 20 Richmond sausages are about £3 but you can get them for a lot cheaper."

I personally don't like or buy Richmond sausages for toad in the hole at home let alone a special party/BBQ/celebration.

OP, I'd be more than happy to pay £25 for this kind of thing.

I agree with this.

I had a bbq for my hen night in parents garden about 20 of us.

I paid for every thing & anything anyone brought was a bonus.

Perhaps Op would rather go for dinner & choose her food though?

Depending on what's on offer the £25 may be a rip off!

£25.seems very reasonable to me. ⁸

@ShowUs Yes. If I’m hosting BBQ for a ‘party’ of around 20 people, I’d expect to spend at least £300 for food, booze and soft drinks.

Various meats, vegetarian options, salads, cheeses, breads, puddings, 12 bottles Prosecco, 6 bottles of Red, 2 bottles of gin, various ‘nice’ soft options. Easy £300 and probably more like £400.

I would not serve Richmond sausages.

You've hit the nail on the head.
I dislike the idea of handing over money without knowing what I'm getting for it.
It's not just about a 'rip-off'. Sometimes all the nice stuff gets snaffled first ... I'm quite a slow eater so always get stuck with the shite nobody wants in that situation.
Or alternatively, there isn't much I actually fancy.

Most of that money is going to be spent on alcohol though, so why should children and pregnant women have to pay for other peoples alcohol.

Yeah, but hen dos are like this IME. Unless you're organising it, you end up not really having much say in what you do. I remember agreeing to a hen do and then got told what we were doing and backed out which I felt awful about 😬. It really, really wasn't for me though I think I'd have cried if I'd gone 😂 and ruined it anyway.

It isn't great tbh. But at least it's only an afternoon and £25. Some hen dos are days long and involve flights and accommodation which you have no say in

I'd probably just not take daughter and save £25. It's a hen party, to celebrate the bride. You don't need kids there to do that.

£25 for me is probably acceptable value. Bride being my friend. £25 for my child isn't, and would wind me up.

@ShowUs If you read my original post, I said I was fortunate to be in a position to not have to ask guests but that I wouldn’t mind paying if asked.

However, meat, salads, soft drinks and puddings are going to cost at least £300. Booze the and I can do 2 x cases of Prosecco for £80. 2 x Gin £36, 6 x red £50

And I’m lucky that in my circle, we don’t split hairs to this extent. Drinking, kids or booze free - it all comes out in the wash and we’re not petty enough to keep such close tabs.

I personally would never expect children or adults who aren’t drinking to pay for alcohol but if you are your friends are happy to do this then that’s fair enough.

But not everyone is as well off as you and OP thinks it’s unfair to pay so much money then that’s her opinion and I agree.

@ShowUs £25 is still a very reasonable all expenses paid night out.

But they’re not going on a night out, just like they’re not going on an all inclusive holiday like some hen parties do.

Are they staying in their individual homes? No, ergo they’re going on a night out - just not an expensive restaurant, club, bar etc.

£25 for a night out is, for the vast majority, reasonable and I suspect you’re on the wind up now.

What I’d the OP did get a 50p hotdog and one glass of lemonade

then we’d be saying £25 was too much

we don’t know what’s on offer. It could be that and then they’ve got £475 extra. I’m not saying that what would happen. Just asking a question.

A garden party is not a night out.
Going to someone’s home is not a night out and you know it.

OP says they regularly do garden parties and so this is normal for them.

I do not think it’s fair that children and non drinking adults should be required to pay for alcohol when they’re not drinking it.

Just like if it was a meal or night out, I wouldn’t expect people to pay for alcoholic drinks if they weren’t drinking.

I’m pretty sure if someone started a thread saying they went out for a meal and drinks which came to £15 but the group wanted them to pay £40 to cover the other people’s alcoholic drinks, everyone would be saying that that was unfair.

If you think everyone should pay equally even though they’re not drinking then that’s your opinion but most of us would think that that was unfair.

apart from being cheap, it's only an evening
think of the cost of a hen weekend - AND you're NOT stuck with them all endlessly and the enforced fun and making a twat of yourself in public.

win win

There might be a bouncy castle/face painting etc for the kids. Nice non alcoholic drinks are as expensive as some wines. When we do 'special' BBQs, we do marinated lamb, steak, chicken etc. With decent dips/dressings, good salad/pittas/rolls etc. Then there's cakes. It's a nice get-together with the kids £25 is a bargain. I've been to ones were they've hired a marquee, heaters and comfortable chairs. It's a change from an indoor venue. Dress code can be a bit more practical and less spent on hair etc.

@ShowUs eh? I do not ‘know it’. Jog on with your ‘know it’ attitude.

I can have mates round for an impromptu sit in the garden for a glass of wine after work. Not a night out.

I can have mates round to a catered, lit, planned, pretty, garden party and it’s all about the Night Out.

I could go into the rest of your boring points but as I said, 🧌🧌🧌

I think that one aspect of this is that it is very good of whoever is organising it to do so and save everyone else the bother. I really don't think they should be criticised and given a load of hassle at this cost per head, unless those attending are really living on the bones of their whatsits.

Unless it's ridiculous, smile and have faith they are trying to do the best they can.

Absolutely agree

FML there are some miseries on this thread.

Somebody said they’d only go if they were in the bridal party, otherwise it wouldn’t be ‘value for money’ for them?! 😂

It’s not about you!

It’s someone - presumably a friend’s - hen do! It’s a pretty cheap night, and it’s about celebrating a life event with them.

No, the menu might not be exactly to your taste, but FGS, it’s only £25

Christ…..

You really typed all this over £25? If you can’t afford of make excuses and skip it.

Mate, I've been on hen weekends that have cost me north of £500 in total. £25 is a dream!

I don’t think it’s fair that children have to pay as much unless they are putting on specific activities for the children that cost a lot.
for non drinking adults, they should probably pay the same as long as they are not just going to be given water. Non alcoholic Prosecco, cider, gin etc cost quite a bit as doors things like Nice juice.