Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this normal for a hen do?

276 replies

Worthyoflove · 13/05/2023 17:38

My friend is getting married.

Hen do is in June and hosted at home as there will quite a few pregnant women and breastfeeding so a night out drinking is off the table. Instead will be games in the garden and a bbq and they’re asking for £25 a head. There will be atleast 10-20people there so not a small amount of cash.

Is this normal these days? It’s really put me off going. I’d rather bring some food to the bbq (I could do the whole lot for less than £50!)

OP posts:
Bathroomlove · 13/05/2023 18:08

growgrowinggrown · 13/05/2023 17:56

You can really do a full bbq for 20 for under £50? Without even including drinks and decorations?
Either you're jesus or a bad host.

Yep!!

no way can you put that on for under £50 🤣🤣🤣

a few bottles of drink will cost more than that!

BennyBlancofromtheBronx · 13/05/2023 18:09

Absolutely not normal.

The last hen do I went to cost closer to £300.

retinolalcohol · 13/05/2023 18:14

Agree this is very cheap. The next hen do I'm going on is going to cost me £350 when all is said and done

Starlitestarbright · 13/05/2023 18:16

It will likely cover decorations, booze, food and cake, favours etc..you can't grumble over 25 quid for a hen do I think that's good value!

ColdBrewInSummer · 13/05/2023 18:18

The last hen do I went on cost me £700. Count yourself lucky if £25 is all youve been asked to pay!

SleepingStandingUp · 13/05/2023 18:18

What is that covering? I wouldn't expect to pay the same for a child if it's covering food etc so perhaps ask whether you do actually to pay the 50 or suggest it's adults only so e eryone can relax more? Bf babies exempt of course

Irritateandunreasonable · 13/05/2023 18:19

Worthyoflove · 13/05/2023 17:56

It will cost me £50 for me and dd but I accept that it’s not much to pay.

Bbqs and garden games are typical for our group of friends and none of us ever pay eachother - although I accept a hen do is different!

How old is DD, if she’s young why is she going to a hen do? And if she’s young surely she should just go free, I would do £25 ph excluding children.

If she’s old enough to go (18+) she could pay for herself.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/05/2023 18:19

Also if it's a couple of people organising it, I think it's reasonable to say "how much? How is this costing £500 to pull off? I'm happy to help so I can help to reduce costs"

Skybluepinky · 13/05/2023 18:21

If u don’t want to go, don’t go, but £25 sounds like a bargain.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/05/2023 18:21

ColdBrewInSummer · 13/05/2023 18:18

The last hen do I went on cost me £700. Count yourself lucky if £25 is all youve been asked to pay!

It isn't how much, it's whether someone's running on a profit. Food and garden games, kids so not too much booze, costs £500? I doubt it.

NewbieSoberista · 13/05/2023 18:21

Sounds pretty cheap to me! I'd pay it. Do you think they're trying to make a profit off you? I wouldn't go if I genuinely thought the people hosting were capable of that tbh, but not because of the money.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/05/2023 18:22

For those saying its cheap, what do yo u think they're spending up to £500 on? It's in a free garden playing party games, some games, food, not much booze cos of all the kids

kingtamponthefurred · 13/05/2023 18:24

£25 sounds very reasonable for a barbecue with drinks and, with a bit of luck, something more imaginative than the usual orange juice or lemonade for those who are not drinking alcohol.

TheSnowyOwl · 13/05/2023 18:25

I can’t believe you are quibbling over £25 for a hen do given many people spend hundreds (even thousands). The food, decorations, drinks (non alcoholic ones still cost money), charcoal/gas etc will all add up. It’s normal that the hen doesn’t pay.

I’m guessing this isn’t a close friend given you are considering blowing them off over what, for a lot of people, is less than what they would spend on taxis and/or entrance fees into a venue.

A barbecue and party for 20 for under £50 sounds joyless and tasteless.

Sissynova · 13/05/2023 18:26

Is this normal these days? It’s really put me off going. I’d rather bring some food to the bbq (I could do the whole lot for less than £50!)

You’re really begrudging £25? £50 total for food and nice drinks sounds incredibly tight. It’s supposed to be a special celebration, not stick 40 Richmond’s on the bbq.

Bringing things in the day just sounds like a logistical nightmare, no one knows what’s going to turn up, people will duplicate things, people will run late etc.

£25 for a nice celebration for your friend doesn’t sound like much, particularly when you aren’t doing any of the planning work.

PatchworkElmer · 13/05/2023 18:26

Honestly it seems a reasonable and sensibly priced hen. Some of them run into hundreds per head now.

ElmTree22 · 13/05/2023 18:27

I went on a two hen dos last year and it cost me £1500, £25 is more than reasonable!

SchoolShenanigans · 13/05/2023 18:31

I think you're being tight too. I'd expect your £25/head will include;

  • quality BBQ meat, cheeses, salads, accompaniments.
  • alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks. Even appletiser is expensive these days
  • games
  • decorations

I get you're wondering where the money is going, but I highly doubt they're making a huge profit. I bought lunch at a park today and it cost us £25 for two adults.

Just pay it and enjoy!

drpet49 · 13/05/2023 18:31

PinkyFlamingo · 13/05/2023 17:40

I would find it surprising if you could do a BBQ for 20 for less than £50 really.

This. Food would be crap for that budget.

Sissynova · 13/05/2023 18:31

SleepingStandingUp · 13/05/2023 18:22

For those saying its cheap, what do yo u think they're spending up to £500 on? It's in a free garden playing party games, some games, food, not much booze cos of all the kids

OP says 10-20 people so anywhere from £250-£500. Full attendance is probably unlikely.
I imagine it will cover a variety of nice bbq food, nibbles, salads, cupcakes, desserts, non alcoholic cocktails, some alcoholic cocktails, the brides share, decorations, table wear, flowers, maybe some games and activities (I organised flower crown making at a hen and supplies added up) maybe some tat for the bride to wear etc.
Most people wouldn’t view a hen at home as ‘how cheap can you possibly make it’ and generally use the excuse to do something more special than they would do on a random Saturday afternoon bbq.

jellycakeandicecream · 13/05/2023 18:32

If you think you can do a BBQ for 20 people for £50 - £2.50 a head - I’m glad I won’t ever be invited.

drpet49 · 13/05/2023 18:32

SleepingStandingUp · 13/05/2023 18:22

For those saying its cheap, what do yo u think they're spending up to £500 on? It's in a free garden playing party games, some games, food, not much booze cos of all the kids

I actually agree with this. £25 a head seems too much especially as quite a few of the guests won’t be drinking.

CheersForThatEh · 13/05/2023 18:34

I wouldnt be taking a child with me for an extra £25. I'd either go alone or not at all.

secretllama · 13/05/2023 18:35

bravotango · 13/05/2023 17:46

I think that sounds a) lovely b) low maintenance and c) a bargain

Agree !

Hugasauras · 13/05/2023 18:35

I just did a quick look on Tesco and enough decent quality burgers, sausages and chicken