Is this normal for a hen do?

[Worthyoflove]

My friend is getting married.

Hen do is in June and hosted at home as there will quite a few pregnant women and breastfeeding so a night out drinking is off the table. Instead will be games in the garden and a bbq and they’re asking for £25 a head. There will be atleast 10-20people there so not a small amount of cash.

Is this normal these days? It’s really put me off going. I’d rather bring some food to the bbq (I could do the whole lot for less than £50!)

I would be delighted to be asked to a hen do that was only going to cost me £25!

I hosted a hen for a themed afternoon tea.
If everyone had gone out to a tea room, it would have cost everyone about £20 each.
Instead it cost me about £400 in catering and drinks.
It cost less per head than going out would. But it cost me more. (I did it as a present to the bride and we wanted it to be outside so struggled for affordable covered outside venues.
I didn’t feel we could charge people but the bride wouldn’t have been able to afford that expense at the time.
I would be more than happy if a hen night only cost £20.

They won’t be though…there isn’t any alcohol.

Eh? Why would the organisers would want children attending to? This sounds like a piss take now.

You're irked by £25 for a hen do?!

I've never been to one that's less than a few hundred. Count yourself lucky!

I'd be really curious at the responses if you had done it as a reverse and said can I charge my friend and her daughter £50 to come round mine for a barbecue

Wish I’d done this now! 🤣

You would spend more than £25 if you went out for a hen do. In some cases, much more.

I know you’ve said you’ll cough up. But did you expect one person to foot the bill for everyone? If so (and you obviously did), that makes you very unreasonable.

@Worthyoflove I think YABVU not to enlighten us on how you can do a BBQ hen party for 10 - 20 people for £50.

After reading that over 8's have been invited along with breastfeeding babies then I think this is less of a hen party and more a garden party.

Others are saying you would spend more if you went away or went for a meal and drinks, yes they are right, but most people have no problem with spending on a night out. Spending that money for a BBQ in a friend's garden full of children isn't most peoples idea of fun.

Though I’m not convinced that the children should pay £25 each.

Maybe they are making it really special as it's just at home. So maybe getting some balloon arch displays and hiring a drinks cart etc. £25 each isn't too bad. It's a cheap night out really.

But it's not a night out its a barbecue in a mates garden full of kids

Well aren't you a judgy one!

It's not about wild activities, but the attendance. The bride's female friends/relatives, for some girly fun. Spa days, tea parties etc are all very popular.

Not a family party with children.

And given the OP's update I was right,

If you all went out to a restaurant it would cost more per person and you'd have to leave after two hours.

What do you get for your £25.00 a head?
Maybe they are going to hire a bouncy castle or something for the kids?

Sounds a good price to me and you can stay as long as you want and you don't have to worry about kids and babies upsetting the other guests.

This is exactly what I was getting at - the moment OP mentioned her DD i knew it wasn't really a 'hen'. So what other people pay is immaterial.

At the end of the day a party with X people and Y activities costs Z. No matter what the name. And if it's something the OP and her friends already do regularly it's not that special to justify that amount of money for an adult and a child.

How else are they going to pay for the stripper?

You really should have put this in your OP...

I would imagine they'll want to buy decorations, balloons etc to make the house look special and all of this will cost as well as the food. Also decent soft drinks can be just as pricey as alcohol. £25 for a lovely day to celebrate your friend isn't that much is it?

Because it’s a bloody hen do and it’s only twenty five frigging quid.

I’m actually more surprised that all the pregnant women are agreeing to a BBQ considering the more increased risk of food poisoning etc.

not sure it should be £25 for the kids as well, maybe more like £10?
I think paying for an afternoon hen party is reasonable though.

I could do the whole lot less than £50

Well you could if you serve a cheap burger in a bun per person.

But if you want to serve steak and chicken with sides and deserts then a lot more than £50 is needed.

Given that hen dos seem to be a £1K trip oversea these days I'd be bloody grateful for £25 bbq.

I feel like if I'd held my hen do in the garden I'd not expect people to contribute financially. It's different if it's a night or day out somewhere but the most I'd expect would be for people to bring a bottle or if they wanted to, some food.

I think £25 per head is extortionate for a BBQ.

People aren’t going to eat £25 worth of food each and if there’s no alcohol then it’s a lot of money for some burgers.

People are saying you’d pay more on a normal hen do but that’s completely irrelevant.
Some people go on week long holidays and some just go to the pub for a drink.
The amount should reflect the activity.

At the very most it should be £25 for adults and £15 for children. Even then it would be an expensive couple of burgers.

Sounds like everyone is paying for alcohol that only a couple can drink.

op returns in 3 months time to let us know it was a hot dog in a burger bun under and awning in the pouring rain, without anything to drink but noseco....that cost £25 per head