Page 10 | Is this normal for a hen do?

Worthyoflove · 2023-05-13T16:38:33+00:00

My friend is getting married. Hen do is in June and hosted at home as there will quite a few pregnant women and breastfeeding so a night out drinking is off the table. Instead will be games in the garden and a bbq and they’re asking for £25 a head. There will be atleast 10-20people there so not a small amount of cash. Is this normal these days? It’s really put me off going. I’d rather bring some food to the bbq (I could do the whole lot for less than £50!)

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 14/05/2023 07:11

It’s only £25, and means they can make a good effort with food and entertainment and make it nice for the bride. She’s already having it at home because of her pregnant and breastfeeding friends.

Disco2023 · 14/05/2023 07:14

A meal and one glass of wine in my local pub would cost around £25! Fish and chips being £15 there now…

£25 sounds like a bargain to me tbh. Meat is expensive never mind drinks, snacks, decor and so on. A night out or spa break or holiday abroad would be so much more!

It sounds lovely.

Purpleturtle45 · 14/05/2023 08:10

Maybe there's a stripper!

SquashAndPineapple · 14/05/2023 08:26

Please tell me the poor hen is not the one hosting this? I understand needs must, but hosting is stressful and not what you want to do on your hen night!

If a friend is hosting, then absolutely they'll want to ask the other attendees for money.

If the hen is hosting, maybe she's getting a company in to do a hog roast or something.

sawandnotseen · 14/05/2023 08:27

£25 is cheap as chips! I'd expect to pay a lot more for good BBQ meat.
Be grateful that's all you have to spend.
My neice is getting married in August and her hen is costing £100s pp and it's not even extravagant.

sawandnotseen · 14/05/2023 08:29

How would you cater for 10-20 people for £50? Surely a decent burger costs £3+

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/05/2023 08:49

£25pp sounds a good deal for a nice afternoon food and games

Yes I get you pay it twice as taking child

Cheeky costing a child as same as adult

Or leave dd at home

Who is the hen

Does she have any children

Why are you taking dd 8 +

5128gap · 14/05/2023 09:23

£50 is only a bargain if you're comparing it with the cost of a typical hen do. If you're comparing it with the typical cost of taking a child round to your mate's house for a BBQ, it's very poor value indeed. Just because it's been given the name 'hen do' as oppose to 'get together with the children' doesn't elevate the experience to one deserving of a £50 price tag.

ShowUs · 14/05/2023 09:38

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 13/05/2023 23:30

@ShowUs eh? I do not ‘know it’. Jog on with your ‘know it’ attitude.

I can have mates round for an impromptu sit in the garden for a glass of wine after work. Not a night out.

I can have mates round to a catered, lit, planned, pretty, garden party and it’s all about the Night Out.

I could go into the rest of your boring points but as I said, 🧌🧌🧌

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Bloody hell calm down.

You seem very angry.

ShowUs · 14/05/2023 09:42

5128gap · 14/05/2023 09:23

£50 is only a bargain if you're comparing it with the cost of a typical hen do. If you're comparing it with the typical cost of taking a child round to your mate's house for a BBQ, it's very poor value indeed. Just because it's been given the name 'hen do' as oppose to 'get together with the children' doesn't elevate the experience to one deserving of a £50 price tag.

I completely agree.

Posters keep saying it’s good value for a hen do but that’s completely irrelevant and they’re completely missing the point.

Yes it is good value for money if you’re going on a night out drinking, to a luxury spa or on a holiday.
But they’re not.

OP should not have used the words ‘hen do’ as that is what’s confusing some posters.

BelleMarionette · 14/05/2023 09:47

I agree this is cheap for a hen do. Normally they cost a lot more (far too much in my opinion).

Maybe they are having an entertainer come, or a caterer? I guess £25pp is a lot for a party at home, but maybe it's to cover something to make it extra special. I would still see it as a bargain compared to what it could be. I was invited to one hen do which was nearly £200 and it was only a day of activities, no overnight.

Baystar · 14/05/2023 10:08

They won't be asking guests to pay £25 for your bog standard burgers and sausages on a bbq. As others have said, they could have catering, marquee, bouncy castle... we don't know but my guess is they'll make it a bit more special than their usual garden bbq meet ups. Go and enjoy the celebration and party with your mates!

5128gap · 14/05/2023 10:49

I'd be interested in how the groom gets on when he asks the 'stags' to pay £50 to take the kids to the park for a picnic.

LuckySantangelo35 · 14/05/2023 11:04

I would just go on your own OP, leave your child at home. It will save you some money and you’ll be able to let your hair down more

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/05/2023 11:38

LuckySantangelo35 · 14/05/2023 11:04

I would just go on your own OP, leave your child at home. It will save you some money and you’ll be able to let your hair down more

This
Hen do's are for adults

SquashAndPineapple · 14/05/2023 11:40

SargentSagittarius · 14/05/2023 02:49

FML there are some miseries on this thread.

Somebody said they’d only go if they were in the bridal party, otherwise it wouldn’t be ‘value for money’ for them?! 😂

It’s not about you!

It’s someone - presumably a friend’s - hen do! It’s a pretty cheap night, and it’s about celebrating a life event with them.

No, the menu might not be exactly to your taste, but FGS, it’s only £25

Christ…..

This!!!!

SquashAndPineapple · 14/05/2023 11:46

Anyone else feeling really sorry for the hen?

Shes being so so accommodating to think of her friends needing to breastfeed, bring their children etc...

A hen do is supposed to be about the hen! About her having a good night. Yet she's being so kind to make the hen do family friendly, is probably having to host.

On my hen do I went out, no kids allowed, we did loads of fun activities, and I had the best best time with my v good friends. This hen is not doing the normal hen stuff to accommodate her friends. She will only have fun if her friends recognise her efforts to have adapted the event for them, and if they get behind her, chip in the money (it's really not that much!), don't moan about whether they are getting the exact food they want etc..., and just help her have fun!! (I hope some of the guests will clear up for her, so she doesn't have to be both host and cleaner on her ow hen do)!

LuckySantangelo35 · 14/05/2023 12:16

SquashAndPineapple · 14/05/2023 11:46

Anyone else feeling really sorry for the hen?

Shes being so so accommodating to think of her friends needing to breastfeed, bring their children etc...

A hen do is supposed to be about the hen! About her having a good night. Yet she's being so kind to make the hen do family friendly, is probably having to host.

On my hen do I went out, no kids allowed, we did loads of fun activities, and I had the best best time with my v good friends. This hen is not doing the normal hen stuff to accommodate her friends. She will only have fun if her friends recognise her efforts to have adapted the event for them, and if they get behind her, chip in the money (it's really not that much!), don't moan about whether they are getting the exact food they want etc..., and just help her have fun!! (I hope some of the guests will clear up for her, so she doesn't have to be both host and cleaner on her ow hen do)!

I deffo feel sorry for the hen!

I sack them all off if I was her, and take myself off to a spa - few drinks found the pool, massage, etc. 👍

her pals can stay home with their kids and eat Richmond sausages and save money

MarinatemysoulinSprite · 14/05/2023 12:19

All of the posters saying that the non-drinkers shouldn't be covering the cost of alcohol - would you also say that any vegetarians shouldn't contribute to the cost of meat and that vegans shouldn't pay towards anything non plant-based?

ShowUs · 14/05/2023 12:29

MarinatemysoulinSprite · 14/05/2023 12:19

All of the posters saying that the non-drinkers shouldn't be covering the cost of alcohol - would you also say that any vegetarians shouldn't contribute to the cost of meat and that vegans shouldn't pay towards anything non plant-based?

Absolutely not.

If you don’t eat meat but all or the majority of food was meat then you are paying for other people to eat whilst you go hungry.
(And you’ll probably have to go and buy food afterwards too).

I know for MNers £25 isn’t a lot of money but in the real world it is.

If you have a couple of DCs you could easily be paying £75-£100 on food you can’t eat or drink you can’t drink.

I went out for a meal with my ex. He was drinking alcohol but I wasn’t.
My meal only came to about £15 but his was over £50 because he had ordered loads of food and was having so many drinks.

We had a massive argument because he felt we should split the bill 50/50 but I felt I should have not had to pay half for his alcoholic drinks or masses of food and I should just pay for mine.

SquashAndPineapple · 14/05/2023 12:31

LuckySantangelo35 · 14/05/2023 12:16

I deffo feel sorry for the hen!

I sack them all off if I was her, and take myself off to a spa - few drinks found the pool, massage, etc. 👍

her pals can stay home with their kids and eat Richmond sausages and save money

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🙂excellent plan! I hope she's reading this thread and already booking that spa!!

LuckySantangelo35 · 14/05/2023 12:36

@Worthyoflove

“I could do the whole lot for less than £50!”

no you couldn’t.

Or if you could, it would be pretty shitty. Certainly wouldn’t be an occasion- worthy do, like hen- do worthy.

If it’s a hen- do it’s supposed to be special and not run of the mill you see

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 14/05/2023 12:41

I also feel sorry for the hen/host if someone else. They are planning something to try and accommodate the needs of the guests and are being criticised for not also picking up the full cost just because it’s at their house (which is probably way harder for them)

WonderingWanda · 14/05/2023 12:50

I would imagine that would cover food drinks, decorations and maybe a gift for the hen which is usual as part of a hen do. I don't think this is expensive.

Sissynova · 14/05/2023 13:04

@ShowUs I know for MNers £25 isn’t a lot of money but in the real world it is.

It’s really not thought particularly if you are expecting to be fed and watered nice food at a celebration. I don’t know what you expect it to cost but the reality is if the OP doesn’t have £25 spare then she doesn’t have to go. That’s all there is to it really.

People just fucking whinge about anything, you would complain if it was a night away, complain if it was at a nice restaurant no doubt and you’re still moaning that hosts aren’t being accommodating for not making it like a fiver but supplying an unlimited amount of food and drink.